Snowpocalypse

I'm sure you heard about all the snow the DC area got this weekend. I could talk all about it and post pics of my neighborhood but why bother when my cousin took pics of a epic snowball fight in Dupont Circle?? 5 Thousand people showed up to have good ole fashion winter fun. This is why DC is better then your city lol... Btw, Pretty now wants to be referred too by his govt name "Wade" and you can check his photography work at http://picturethisdc.blogspot.com/ He's sure to be posting plenty of good stuff there soon.

Auto Show

So last week me and Pretty went to the auto show. Here are some random notes from the show sprinked inbetween the picks.

This was a a car signed by celebs for Haiti. How it helps Haiti i have no idea...

Car shows are fun because you get to sit and get a feel for 100's of cars in 1 day. for example me and Pretty sat in a GMC Denali. As soon as we got in Pretty said he felt like a drug dealer... I suggested the Esclade might have a more upscale feel, Nope it just felt like we went from selling crack to coke lol.

Fire Truck, I started to throw all the gear on but yeah I'm a grown ass man lol

Audi Coupe and TT

Pretty decided to flirt with one of the presenters at the ford dealer. She ended up putting him on blast to everyone in microphone range lol. It was the highlight of my night.

WV CC, I approve. Cadillac Concept car, looks fast

We saw a Zoom Zoom energy drink from Mazda. It looked better then all of thier cars...

Random ugly green car.... inside of WV truck

One fun thing to do is jumping into the back seat of a car that has people sitting in the front. It freaks folks out and the usually leave. People don't like riding with strangers, even at a car show lol

Dodge Challenger. Not shown this BAAAD show girl. No lie she had smooth chocolate skin and was gorgeous, pretty flirted with her too with no luck, he was on a roll... lol

We got into a S class benz and there was a dude on a business call. Seemed appropriate.

Challenger again... Me in egg chair, I want one for the man cave (hoodie says "Recession proof hustle")

And just so He can no longer hide in the streets... Pretty!

Blah....

Let me start by saying thanks to everyone who commented or reached out on my last post.. I really appreciate all the kind words. Last week was rough, I didn't blog about everything that went on but yeah it was crazy. I felt blessed and cursed all at the same time.... Again, thank you.

Lets rewind back to end of September early October. I was chatting with my cousin "H", filling him in on what was going on with my life. He is the only dude I know who had actually been thru a custody battle and won. I was telling him about my BM issues and about breaking up the the summer GF. He told me something that I didn't really understand. He said "That's probably for the best", I didn't get it at first but he explained that I was about to go thru a long tough process and it's easier to do it single. He explained it and it made sense but I was still thinking that having someone to support you would still be best...

Fast forward to now, I understand what he was saying. While I appreciate all the people in my life who love and support me most days I just want to sit alone in my basement and zone out. At times it drains me to tell people whats going on. Repeating the same story over and over... It's like a bad song on the radio. I almost just want to tell them to read the blog lol. I've learned to laugh about it all just to cope even with that I can't remember the last day I woke up happy. This morning I woke up stressed with all kinds of thoughts going thru my head. Waking up stressed is no fun, trust me.

I just realized Valentines Day was around the corner. How could I forget? well I have court dates right before AND after the holiday. Shyt like that sucks the joy outta holidays for me. I HATE court, I'm sure I mentioned it before. 4 criminal cases in 2 days is some BS... smh. Typing that is funny to me. I've been charged with a crime, all the shyt I did as a kid and I never ended up in the court system. Now I have charges against me... smh

Any way on a funny note... the grammys were straight BS!!! how Flo-Rida going to be up for Best RAP album of the year and BP3 isn't? And what was with that 3D garbage? do they think people just have 3D glasses laying around? You know my cousin Puffy's biggest dream is to win a grammy. I was looking forward to crashing the stage at his acceptance speech till I saw that mess. Ya'll don't need to see me on stage in 3D lol.

Anyway I'll have more happy posts soon, don't want ya'll to think I'm suicidal or murderous. I actually have had some fun and laughs recently.

The Growth - Idle Time

By know you should know that the growth is as much about reflecting as anything. In the past couple months I've had more free time on my hands then I have had in years. This has been both a good and bad thing...

You see when LMS was first born I was working 2 jobs and I didn't really see her much. It wasn't till she was a couple months old that I quit the PT job and really spent quality time with her. Even with that I can't think of a time I didn't see her for a week straight. I picked her up every afternoon to hang out. These past couple months I have seen her less then any time in her life. This made me realize I need her just as much as she needs me. I can't focus when she is not around. There is a void in my life when I'm not with her. A void that simply can't be filled.

In the back of my head I knew this might happen, I just hoped it wouldn't. I knew my BM would want to lash out at me, try and hurt me. See while we have joint legal custody we don't have a set visitation schedule. So legally I don't have a set time to see the baby. This was my mistake, but at the time I didn't have any problems seeing LMS. It was all about child support. So I knew if we ever started beefing she would use visitation against me. Honestly I just felt like 2 grown adults should be able to work out visitation without a court. Oh how silly I was.

So with the BM still ignoring my calls and texts, I have not seen the baby since Jan 15th. 12 days... doesn't seem like a long time but trust me its a VERY long time in my world. Couple that will a call yesterday that I might not be able to see her for 60 days (I might explain that one later, lets just say my BM is on some other world shyt) I feel like I'm going to see my daughter and not recognize her. Not only that but when she's not around I don't think straight. I just do silly things, things that make me double guess myself. It's like I just try different things to fill that void. Even when I know they won't, I lose my direction and focus. Basically all other parts of my life suffer. She's the glue that keeps me together. Its a sad time for me and I have no answers, no solutions. I can't think of any positive ideas on how to fix it, all I want to do is crawl in a hole and wait for it to be over. I can't do that though, gotta keep pushing moving forward.

Long story short I miss my baby and it might be a while before I see her again.