18 April 2008

First Dates

I love first dates, that might be why I've been on so many of them, there is nothing like hanging out with someone you barely know and having every act judged. When I meet new girls I purposely don't ask a bunch of questions about them until we go on that first date. I'm a face to face kinda guy, I can't stand sitting on the phone for hours at a time. I'd much rather just go out somewhere and hang. It's a better way to get to know someone. I have a policy about first dates, I want to be some place where we have to interact. This will help me see if she is a jumpoff, friend or girlfriend. You need to get that out the way early so you know how to treat them from that point on. So when going on first dates I NEVER go to the movies. Why? because you paying for the girl to keep quiet for 2 hours. That's a waste of time and money, you need to see if there is any chemistry between the two of you and that doesn't happen in a movie theater. Unless it's a $1.50 movie from back in the day, you know the ones where nobody went for the movie and everyone went to have semi-privacy in the darkness... nevermind.

So where should you go? glad you asked. A good place is out to eat but that doesn't make for a long date and staring at each other across a table can become a problem if you don't have anything to talk about. The best places are places where there are plenty of people and lots to do. Dave and Busters, bowling, museums you know places like that. You can see how the girl is in public (important because some people you just can't take anywhere) and you still have interaction with her. On a side note if the date doesn't work out at least you can laugh at other people and have a good time. Plus it's come my attention that the whole art of dating has almost died. Dudes don't even make the effort anymore, They meet girls and do everything they can to have sex with them without actually taking them out. I have no idea how we got here, what happened to dating? now it's "I'm talking to them" what the fukk does that mean? is dating not allowed anymore? is it wrong to be dating multiple people? I thought that's what being single was, you date until you find a girlfriend/boyfriend then you only date them until you get married. Call me old school but I don't see the problem with dating. And don't get me started on this whole "we going dutch" shyt. That's cute when you have been seeing someone for a while but how you going to ask a girl out and expect her to pay? I was always told "if you want a second date you'll pay for the first" again I might be old school. So if you want to get on a girls good side take her on a real date. Hold the door open, smile be nice you know do all the stuff you see in the movies, it really works. I might cost you a lil money but I promise you'll get cool points with her. What's money when it comes to possible love right? RIGHT!!

Anyway I have a date tonight with a new girl, we are going to shoot some pool and who knows what else. It should be fun, Have a nice weekend everyone.

PS. I proof read this and I really think dudes need to raise they kids better because men should have learned from thier father how to treat a woman and women should have learned from they father how a man should treat them. I went out with this girl who told me to not hold the door open for her because I was being "too nice" and she didn't like that.... that's that bullshit I be talking about. Our generation was raised all wrong lol


Eb the Celeb said...

"the whole art of dating has almost died. Dudes don't even make the effort anymore"

That right there... the realest thing you ever wrote... cuz a chick like me will be 27 in a couple weeks and have never been on a real date. Yes I have had the dinner and a movie but no man has ever taken the time to actually thoroughly think out and plan a date that was something that wasnt cliche. Like I want them to show some initiative... like in the movie Hitch... even though it went all wrong... it was the initiative. (sigh)

Good luck on the date tonight!

Sha Boogie said...

I am so with you on the whole 'art of dating' thing! When I first started dating my burrent boo (lol) he was CLUELESS about dating! I had to lead him through it..lol.. A mess!

MzM said...

I can't believe old girl told you that you were being "too nice" for opening the door?! I'm married (almost 7 years) and my husband STILL opens the door for me. As a matter of fact I stand there and WAIT for him to do it!

I bet that same chick is complaining to her girlfriends talking about how she can't meet any "nice" guys. CRAZY!

You do seem like a very "nice" (read: well mannered, interesting, smart and RAISED RIGHT) guy and if some random chick can't appreciate it then it is her loss! NEXT!

Have fun on the date, hope it's a blast and she turns out to be "nice" too! :-)

DreamCop08 said...

I feel what you are saying about dating that is why I am taking a backseat. On another note women say that they want a good man but when you show them that there is more to you than being a regular no good negro, they say stupid stuff like what old girl said. I have no tolerance for that ignorance crap. If God does happen to bring that good man in my life Im gonna treat him good.

Have fun on your date!!!! Until next time.

That Girl Tam said...

This is my first time here by way of my girl Sha-Boogie...

This was an interesting post...I'm the mother of 3 boys (with another on the way that I'm HOPING IS A GIRL). I think it was Karma that gave me boys for all the dirt I've done in my dating youth!

I feel inspired by this post...back when I was dating, I didn't have a problem asking a guy out...and I usually paid for the first date - because I didn't want the dude to think I was only after his loot - because dating in the early 90's was crazy! Ok...how come I just made myself feel hella old? HHAHAH!! I will definitely be back...hope you had a pleasant date!

mp1 v.8.0 said...

Hope the date was beneficial....and cool.

Too nice. maybe she's trying to be i-n-d-e-p...fugg that! it's all about chivalry.

I see you putting in some thought to those dating situations. I can't knock ya 4 that, homie.

sherviegirl said...

I'm alright with opening the door for myself... I'll even open the door for you:) Lol... but I hear what you're saying, my thing isn't really about men don't know how to treat women anymore, but people just don't know how to treat people in general... regardless of gender in the relationship... we just really need to work on doing something extra for people, going out of our way for people (especially when its that dreaded first impression).

Hope your date gives you reasons to smile.

Brittany said...

First dates..you love them. They are awkward. Especially going out to eat where you have to look at them and talk. lol
I like the idea of going places where there are a lot of people.

RealHustla said...

Wow. At least now I know some man is out there realizes that there IS a problem. You should teach a class or something, or at least start a Dating 101 blog series.

DurtyMo said...

LOL@ da brawd saying you were "being too nice" by opening the door?

*scractching my head* Ummm uh-kay!

I never really knew "how" to date per say. I never "dated" more than one dude at a time..what in the azz was I doing/thinking? Dang! *sigh*

Opinionated Diva said...

Like Britt...I find first dates to be awkward, but then it depends because there have been a lot of times that they were memorable in a good way.

The art of dating for Black people is weird...I'm not sure Black folks ever really made it into an art to begin with.

CocaColaCutie said...

i agree...dudes only do what they have to do to get the desired effect, but it's our fault ladies because some of us (present company included) have or are going for that mess.

The Jaded NYer said...

dating? what is this "dating" you speak of?

Eb the Celeb said...

Um excuse me... where is the update post... how the heck did the date go?