20 May 2008

On the Campaign trail

Ok so the first step on my pursuit of becoming president was to join my homeowners association. Well My cousin is the president and she had been asking me to come out because she needed help, I finally agreed. So first off I had my daughter with me it was at 7pm and daycare had been closed and her mom didn't seem to care that I was doing something so me and my sidekick hit up the local church (where the meeting was being held). I walked in and 2 people were waiting for me. I said hi and introduced myself. No sign of my cousin. We waited like 10 min and then 2 more people showed up. So we went back to this room. Why the hell was it the church classroom? Full of toys! My daughter ran off to play with the kitchen, all I could do was lower and shake my head. It was going to be a long meeting.

As soon as I sit down this guy looks me dead in the face and asks "are you a homeowner?" I replied "umm Yeah for about 5 years now, you ignorant bastard!" ok that last part was in my head but who the hell was he to ask me? I was at a HOMEOWNERS meeting. Why else would I be wasting my thursday night? Turns out he is the Vice President. And maybe I shouldn't have been there in full drug dealer gear (white tee, jeans and jordans) but I did have my daughter with me, so that should have told him something. So was already upset with him. he didn't ask anyone else just me. N E Way my cousin finally shows and there are 7 people there total, this includes the officers so in reality there are 2 regular homeowners. Me and this other lady who suffered some flood damage from all the rain we received. I don't know where all my neighbors were but apparently this small ass group decides how to spend out homeowners money. Did I mention my daughter has taken her shoes off and is playing dress up with some random shoes she found in a dress up bin? yeah she is being quiet but I keep giving her dirty looks to keep her in check. Overall she behaved, I was proud of her.

So the meeting is going on, they are talking about crime in the area (can you believe kids in the burbs are spray painting stuff?) They mention some other stuff and the meeting is over. I chat with my cuz for a second and she tells me if I join the architecture committee I don't have to pay my dues. I'm all for not paying stuff so I agree. Basically I have to snitch on my neighbors about how they messing up they house. that's easy enough. And I'm in charge of some spreadsheet, to save that $70 a month I'm all in.

Step one of my campaign is complete, now all I have to do is move up the ranks and become VP. I can't overtake my family, I'm too nice for that.

On another note I was telling my niece about running for president and she told her mom about it. Do you know what my dear sister said? of course you don't but she said "You need a degree to be a Senator". Damn haters.. lol I think she still bitter that I got a higher SAT score than her without studying. She was the smart sibling till that, I'm lazy not dumb... lol she might be right but she didn't have to say anything. Now I have to go back to school and finish my bachelors degree. This may be a long campaign.

Can I take a minute to say how much I love my Niece? She's 14 and wants to be a Broadway actress. What kid has dreams like that? I'm amazed she is related to me. This lead to a discussion about me bringing my secret service detail to her shows. She doesn't even call me Uncle Dave, she just calls me Davey. I'm not even mad about it that's my homie. She give me hope for the future, she not all on boys dicks, she dresses her age, she appreciates stuff. She is everything I expect a teenage girl to be. Hopefully she will not lose her mind in high school.


Brittany said...

Sorry. We all lose our minds in high school.

Ms. Behaving said...

So what you had on hood attire [I mean not all male homeowners are rockin' suits and ties these days ya know]


LOL @ your daughter makin' herself comfortable...
[Hey...at least she was quiet about...Not like a lot of other children who get out in public and act a damn fool *SIGH*]

I gotta concur with brittany in that High School is usually where everything changes.

Hopefully she'll stay focused on her goal.

Opinionated Diva said...

Dave for President!!! Let me know where I can buy a button! lol

Kids...gotta luv 'em. They can become comfortable damn near anywhere.

Drug dealer gear?! LOL!

I wish my home owner's association allowed me to skip out on the almost four hundred bucks I pay for monthly maintenance. I'm on the committee and I don't get any breaks...sucks!

Homer is My Co-pilot said...

@Brittany - I think all women are crazy so maybe that happens in high school

@Ms Behaving - Don't worry I have a fresh pair of ass kicking Nike Boots to keep her in line

@OD - White T's, jeans and jordans are standard issue on the corner. You get that and a copy of scarface during orientation. lol

DreamCop08 said...

hey boo, they got me jumping her at work but i took out a little time to respond to your blog.

Umh Diva stop co-signing for my man you know that's my job

"Go Dave" for president. (sticking my tongue out at Diva)

Very proud of your niece, she is the only exception to the rule. You know they aint making kids like that anymore,lol

RealHustla said...

Maybe your sister's not intentionally being a hater. Hey, maybe she's where you get your dream killer skills from, LOL. Good luck with the association duties. I sense one day in the future you'll be checkin' 'ole boy who tried to clown you.

The Jaded NYer said...

aw, don't be mad at your sister; you do need to have a degree backing you, or the media will tear you a new one.

and make sure you clear out all your skeletons now, buddy, cause you know how *they* do when I brother is running for office...

Ieisha said...

Lmao @ saving $70 by joining the architecture committee. That's the way to do it. The political bug must be going around (my post on that topic is coming.

Kudos on your little one behaving. I had my son with me yesterday at our school's organization fair (I'm a member of BLSA) and everyone commented on how well behaved he was. And then how cute he was, how tall he was, how well he talked, etc. Felt like we were at the zoo and he was exhibit, lol.

But back to the matter at hand....keep your eye on the VP position. Have satisfaction when you take ignoramus' position!

B_More BAP Life said...

LMBO @ "You need a degree to be a Senator". Damn haters"

...I can't stop laughing ....that your sister would say that and that would be your response. LOL!

...Nice Blog.

DiamondsR4eva said...

lol @ drug dealer clothes, perception is everything on our ignant American soil. Like really why would you be at a homeowners meeting if you weren't a homeowner for the juice and cookies?

DollFace said...

I'm waiting for your fly tshirts slogans so I can get one!

I heart children that appreciate stuff. But beware of high school!