So my boy got married over the weekend and I realized that that was the last wedding that I could be a groomsman in. I'm kinda mad my cousin didn't have a wedding so I won't get the chance to be a best man. I have like 1 friend that's not married and if he does get married I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be a groomsman. So the next wedding I'll be in will be mine. Anyway on to the show.
It was an afternoon outdoor wedding and we had on wool tuxes. I was worried that I would sweat out the tux but it turns out that it wasn't that hot and the groom was sweating way more than anyone else. He was nervous as hell. It was funny to me so I cracked a bunch of jokes. The way I see it a wedding should be full of laughs and smiles. We jokes that my boy was Groomzilla because he was ordering people around left and right. he even told us to button BOTH buttons our jackets because that's what he wanted, not that it was stylish. Anyway this lead to me making Godzilla sounds every time he gave an order. He didn't laugh much about it but everyone else did. He just wanted everything to be sooo perfect. You know your at an expensive wedding when all the flowers are real. even the flower on my lapel was real. I was soo not used to that. It even fell apart as I was walking around. real flowers are delicate things.
I want to dispel the myth that all colored people are late. This wedding was full of white people and they were like 45 min late, and I was early so you can't blame me. the good thing was that the wedding was super quick. I'm talking about 20 min from the time we walked to the front to us walking back down the isle. even the bartender at the reception was amazed about the speed of the wedding. We spent more time taking pics then in the wedding. the wedding was on the water so a bunch of people came past on their boats. they stared at us so I waved at them, I'm friendly like that... lol And then there was the reception....
First let me say there was an open bar. I think all weddings should have them but that's just me. Then there was this Wedding Singer. I've never been to a wedding that actually had a wedding singer Emceeing. Dude was singing along to songs and dancing on the dance floor all while talking into the mic. They started out playing all 80s music. This had me worried, but they slowly progressed threw the 90's and 2000. Thats around the time the impossible happened. See they were playing the electric slide and seeing 30 white people do the slide is funny enough but the DJ decided to play Justin Timberland's Sexy Back next. The music stared playing only the people kept doing the electric slide. So for about 2 minutes 30 white people did the electric slide to Sexy back. I really wish I could have video taped it, It was amazing. They also did the booty call and some other line dance. Speaking of the dance floor, this dude and his girl were on there like it was a club. I mean he was damn near molesting her on the dance floor. I wanted to tap him on the shoulder and let him know there were both kids and older people around him but I don't think he cared. His mind was on getting some ass after the wedding and I can't hate on him for that. This same dude was at my table for the reception and he was making out with the girl. This seemed real tacky to me but hey he was 23 and he might not have known better. Plus he might have been really drunk. Anyway....
The star here was the wedding singer. I mean this dude was soo bad that me and my buddy (not the groom) had this convo:
Buddy: Man I'm glad I got my education
Me: so you don't have to dance, sing and ruin receptions across the country?
Buddy: yeah, not to mention dance with little kids. He thinks this is about him
And my buddy was right, this dude wanted to be the star. some people at another table told him to stop talking for a while and he got a lil upset. Like I said I'm never witnessed a wedding singer live so I have no idea what he is supposed to do but this dude was over doing it. Someone asked me what I thought he got paid and I simply said "too much". Dude is a star in his own mind.
Besides the wedding singer is was a great reception. The bride and groom gave each other real kisses, you know usually it's that fake peck on the lips. They really went for it, it was refreshing to see, my boy is really in love.
Oh yeah, here's the pics of me in my monkey suit. I joked that we looked like waiters at a bad seafood restaurant. And nope I didn't come home with a bridesmaid this time. I was 1 of 2 black people at this thing so I did have many options.
This is me and the groomsman. The groom is on the far left.
Me after the wedding waiting to take pics. See the beautiful Chesapeake bay in the background.