14 July 2008

27 tuxes... the finale

So my boy got married over the weekend and I realized that that was the last wedding that I could be a groomsman in. I'm kinda mad my cousin didn't have a wedding so I won't get the chance to be a best man. I have like 1 friend that's not married and if he does get married I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be a groomsman. So the next wedding I'll be in will be mine. Anyway on to the show.

It was an afternoon outdoor wedding and we had on wool tuxes. I was worried that I would sweat out the tux but it turns out that it wasn't that hot and the groom was sweating way more than anyone else. He was nervous as hell. It was funny to me so I cracked a bunch of jokes. The way I see it a wedding should be full of laughs and smiles. We jokes that my boy was Groomzilla because he was ordering people around left and right. he even told us to button BOTH buttons our jackets because that's what he wanted, not that it was stylish. Anyway this lead to me making Godzilla sounds every time he gave an order. He didn't laugh much about it but everyone else did. He just wanted everything to be sooo perfect. You know your at an expensive wedding when all the flowers are real. even the flower on my lapel was real. I was soo not used to that. It even fell apart as I was walking around. real flowers are delicate things.

I want to dispel the myth that all colored people are late. This wedding was full of white people and they were like 45 min late, and I was early so you can't blame me. the good thing was that the wedding was super quick. I'm talking about 20 min from the time we walked to the front to us walking back down the isle. even the bartender at the reception was amazed about the speed of the wedding. We spent more time taking pics then in the wedding. the wedding was on the water so a bunch of people came past on their boats. they stared at us so I waved at them, I'm friendly like that... lol And then there was the reception....

First let me say there was an open bar. I think all weddings should have them but that's just me. Then there was this Wedding Singer. I've never been to a wedding that actually had a wedding singer Emceeing. Dude was singing along to songs and dancing on the dance floor all while talking into the mic. They started out playing all 80s music. This had me worried, but they slowly progressed threw the 90's and 2000. Thats around the time the impossible happened. See they were playing the electric slide and seeing 30 white people do the slide is funny enough but the DJ decided to play Justin Timberland's Sexy Back next. The music stared playing only the people kept doing the electric slide. So for about 2 minutes 30 white people did the electric slide to Sexy back. I really wish I could have video taped it, It was amazing. They also did the booty call and some other line dance. Speaking of the dance floor, this dude and his girl were on there like it was a club. I mean he was damn near molesting her on the dance floor. I wanted to tap him on the shoulder and let him know there were both kids and older people around him but I don't think he cared. His mind was on getting some ass after the wedding and I can't hate on him for that. This same dude was at my table for the reception and he was making out with the girl. This seemed real tacky to me but hey he was 23 and he might not have known better. Plus he might have been really drunk. Anyway....

The star here was the wedding singer. I mean this dude was soo bad that me and my buddy (not the groom) had this convo:

Buddy: Man I'm glad I got my education
Me: so you don't have to dance, sing and ruin receptions across the country?
Buddy: yeah, not to mention dance with little kids. He thinks this is about him

And my buddy was right, this dude wanted to be the star. some people at another table told him to stop talking for a while and he got a lil upset. Like I said I'm never witnessed a wedding singer live so I have no idea what he is supposed to do but this dude was over doing it. Someone asked me what I thought he got paid and I simply said "too much". Dude is a star in his own mind.

Besides the wedding singer is was a great reception. The bride and groom gave each other real kisses, you know usually it's that fake peck on the lips. They really went for it, it was refreshing to see, my boy is really in love.

Oh yeah, here's the pics of me in my monkey suit. I joked that we looked like waiters at a bad seafood restaurant. And nope I didn't come home with a bridesmaid this time. I was 1 of 2 black people at this thing so I did have many options.

This is me and the groomsman. The groom is on the far left.

Me after the wedding waiting to take pics. See the beautiful Chesapeake bay in the background.


MP said...

That wedding singer idea seems every annoying. I was at a wedding this weekend too and the MC started yelling at everybody. WTF?!?!?

Opinionated Diva said...

Everytime you mentioned the wedding singer I was thinking about the movie...which I found hilarious by the way! LMAO that someone told him to be quiet and he got his little feelings hurt!

"real flowers are delicate things."...such poetry from a fLAKER fan! lol...ohh...but is that the celtic green I see you wearing??! OK, maybe it's an aqua, turquoise or teal kind of color, but close enough!

Ieisha said...

So I find it funny that you post a solo pic of yourself and then tell us to look at the Chesapeake Bay behind you....yeah, right, playa. Who are YOU tryin' to fool????

And even if there was a bridesmaid, you wouldn't tell the blog world. You done got all superstitious on us, lol.

Open bar ANYTHINGS are the bomb!!!!!

rebecca said...

omg I was hysterical laughing at this story i'm dead @ the wedding singer a star in his own mind.... I lost it when they were doing the electric slide to sexyback... jesus take the wheel...

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@MP - Oh I'm having a wedding singer if for no other reason than to laugh at him.

@Diva - He was eactly like the wedding singer, only he didn't break down into tears during the songs. And we had on Miami Dolphin Blue. If it was anything close to Celetic green I would have worn my won suit in protest.

@Ieisha - Really I posted that so you could see it was by the water. And the Bay is a beautiful place. And your right I could have bagged 3 bridesmaids and I wouldn't say a word about it... lol

@Rebecca - Dude thought it was an american idol audition. I wish I had the video.

Big O said...

when i think of wedding singers...i think if the one in "Old School"...too funny , lol

RealHustla said...

The tux is not all that bad, except you couldn't even see that bright turquoise with them buttoned up like that.

You're next, that's the spirit!

I loooove people watching. Sounds like this was the creme de la creme.

Dreamy said...

happy that you had a great time. you are always doing something every weekend, i am so jealous of you,lol

you looked nice in your suit;)

pink said...

lol this post was funny...im mad at that obnoxious wedding singer lol!! and the white people gettin their electric slide on to sexyback...smh.

ill be back...youve been blog rolled =)

Ms. Behaving--> said...

White folk trying to stay on beat alone is funny enough to watch so I could imagine the humor in seeing bout 30 of em' doin' it at the same damn time! LOL

I think the groom should have opted to leave his/the rest of the groomsmen's suit jackets OPEN.

The teal adds that extra umpff to it [ya know]??

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@Big O - Old School was one of the greatest movies ever!!!

@Real Hustla - Nobody said anything about me being next. You make it sound like it's happening soon

@Dreamy - hey baby, My weekends are not nearly that exciting trust me.

@Pink - Hey a local girl. Welcome to the party

@Ms. Behaving - I was trying to tell the groom to leave the jackets open but he insisted that we button BOTH buttons. I'm getting him a copy of GQ.

nikki said...

the wedding singer was trying to be like adam sandler in "the wedding singer"

great movie...awful voice. it works on screen...not so much in person when one is paying $1000 and up for it.

you guys look great in your tuxes. too bad about the groomzilla...be interesting to see if you're behaving the same way when YOU get married. lol

Opinionated Diva said...

Ahem...while I enjoy looking at your pictures...probably more than I should actually...don't you think it's time for an update? A live from the corner edition maybe?

You know you agree with me...cmon say you do!

Melody.Darlene said...

27 Tuxes! hahah! that was clever!

i feel you on that open bar business!! it should be mandatory at EVERY wedding!! lolol

Kei's Revelation said...

I can not believe the wedding singer part! Lol. That is so funny! I immediately thought of the movie "The Wedding Singer" with Adam Sandler. I guess he felt that the spotlight was on him, and not the newlyweds, huh?
And every wedding I've ever attended has included the electric slide in the reception. The dance is so popular at get-togethers, that I'm sure if it wasn't included, some people would leave really disappointed! Lol. Thanks for sharing.