21 July 2008

It's in my nature

I recently had this convo with on of my friends:

Friend: how come i don't hear from you unless I text or call u?
Me: damn hi to you too. You know how I am i don't call/text anyone unless I want something. I'm a crappy friend.
Friend: Could you please work on that U are neglecting me and I don't like it
Me: Sorry baby it's in my nature. You should know this by now.
Friend: i am trying to hope u will change and become a better friend. bu I am so giving up hope.

Here's the thing my friends know about me. I'm a horrible friend. I forget birthdays, I never call and matter of fact if you don't make an effort to keep in touch with me it could be months before I even think to hit you up. Double that time if I can't hit you on IM. I just suck as a friend. I know this and they know this. I like to think it's one of my many charms lol. I'm honestly surprised I have so many friends. I have 1 friend left from high school and that's because she is so damn persistent on calling me. She calls me like once a week. Sometimes just to say she loves me and to make sure I'm ok (don't get any ideas, she's married) She understands how I am. She doesn't get upset that I never call. Everyone else just kinda faded away. I know it's my fault and I should do a better job staying in touch, but I don't care. The friend I had the above convo with I've known for like 7-8 years. I met her in college and she always calls me first that's just how I roll.

I'm especially horrible to women friends. When I first meet someone I usually hang out with them alot till I get a feel for who and what they are. Then I get bored and go find something new to do. I have a long list of female friends who I gone out on dates with. They will all tell the same story, for no apparent reason I call less, stop asking them out and fall into that "friendship" zone. It's just how I roll... lol It's not like I'm having sex with them, we were just hanging out. We had fun now its time for me to move on. I just get bored easily. Like I said.. It's in my nature.


Opinionated Diva said...

Wow...thnx for the warning!!! Now I know not to expect responses when/if I want to harass you in email. I kid.

Seriously though...I feel you. I had this conversation with a new friend recently. I am the friend that will be there when you need me. I will take time off from work, hop on a plane, whatever...I'm there. But the every day stuff??? Not me. I'm working on it though.

This might be your nature...but you do realize how obnoxious it is for women when you date them once/twice and then for no reason just become don't want to talk anymore right?

Opinionated Diva said...

PS: My birthday is 9/21...write it down please and thank you. lol!

FHJ said...

Lol. You sound just like a couple of my guy friends. All I do is call him regularly, cuss him for bout the first 30 seconds and then start the conversation. I've learned to understand that some people are quite happy to talk to their friends but it will never occur to them to call said friends.

If you were someone I was involved with however, then it wouldn't be cool. My potentials don't get a pass like my guy friends do.

FHJ said...

And opinionated diva is right. If I were one of those women you dated, you wouldn't fall into the friend category after two dates/no explanation. You would fall into the ass category. Lol.

pink said...

LOL...shes a good friend cuz id get pissed and wouldnt call you either. I cant stand that especially if im interested in you. If were datin and everything is goin well and then you just stop callin im like WTF?! It leaves me all bewildered and confused and i cant handle it...lmao!

RealHustla said...

If you'd gone out on date with me and did this I'd just think this was totally unacceptable. Especially if I was really into you.

For just platonic friends it's okay if each one calls the other once every blue moon. But, I hate to be the only one who calls and won't do it. You get one, maybe two chances with me, then our friendship is canceled.

I had a real close girl friend (we were friends since I was 13) and I actually went through the effort of deleting all traces of her from my home because she never called me and never had a good excuse as to why not. It took years for me to come to this decision but I'm glad for it.

I need those IM go around instructions again.

Big O said...

i guess if your friends are cool with that...roll with it, lol

i got friends that i communicate with all the time with, and those that i talk with every now and then...so i got both in my circle .

but i will say, i live by one rule with that..is that "people find time to do what they want". and i leave those situations at that.

durtymo said...

*sigh* I'm kinda on the fence about this..being as though I NEVER ANSWER MY PHONE. It's not about the person calling, it's me. LOL@ that lameness. But I'm trying to do better so umm that excuse about it being your nature is not cute. But I like the fact that you're honest about it!

Oh yea and I put the pic u sent on the dead azz site. teehee..Thanks!

CocaColaCutie said...

I've totally given up on expecting more from you. I've accepted the fact that we'll talk all day on IM and have an occasional lunch. It's not so bad anymore...Just promise to always help me move and we'll be a-ok!

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Life be having you fucked up somtimes, it's hard to remember folk.

Ieisha said...

Hold out your hand.

*Smacking the back of it*

Bad friend! Bad friend! Lol...but it's cool. As long as you recognize it and accept it and don't hide it from others, you're cool. Why folks insist on changing grown-ass men or just adults for that matter is beyond me.

You only call when you want something. Fine. As long as you ain't sending IMs to others talking about they're a bunch of freeloaders who have no concern for the daily details of life, you're good.

Cuz if you DID send those type of messages, you'd be the pot calling the kettle black, lol.

Dreamy said...

im horrible like that also.

i need to work on that,lol

im always forgetting sombody's BD and I hate talking on the phone,lol

damn shame!!!

BorednTalkative said...

I'm like that. I hardly call anyone. I don't mind talking to people but I just don't call them. I don't forget birthdays though, i go all out for a friend's birthday.

The Jaded NYer said...

LMAO! you're a mess.

that is all...

MP said...

LOL! I'm laughing because this is exactly how I am. My female friends are the worst. Sometimes I wonder if they think we are dating.

DiamondsR4eva said...

Damn, and I thought I was bad. I can remember the month of ppl
s b-days but not the exact day. I text back later rather than sooner and sometimes I don't call back lol, I'm bad at commenting on blogs on a regular basis but I do make an effort lol

Ms. Behaving said...

Maaaan listen...I'm guilty of all you just listed and then some myself so...don't feel bad!

One Man’s Opinion said...

Damn, Homer (yeah, I called you Homer), you sound like me; except I think I am a DAMN good friend! Still, I rarely call, text or whatever, unless you hit me up first. I can't help it. It is just not in my nature. I am a loner and always have been. I am at my best alone. Is that sad?

Funny, just as I am typing this, one of my old co-workers from over ten years ago just call to let me know that a lady we just to work with passed away. She knew I would be upset if nobody told me and she also let me know that she love me. Isn't that sweet?

Like I said, I think I am a good friend, and I am guessing you are too. I just don't go that extra mile to make those phone calls and stuff.

My friends are currently planning me a birthday party and they better do a damn good job, because for some of them the last time we spoke was back in June. And I am fine wth that, because the friendship is real and when we get together it will be like we just spoke the day before. That is alway the testiment of a good friend. Speaking of which, I need to make contact with my friend Lou. Thank you for making me remember to hit his ass up. LOL

MysTery said...

Lol, I feel that being your nature. But you will be alone for a good long time like that. If that's what you choose....but hey, do you!

koolbreeze said...

i'm like that too. truely... i just don't care that much. sad but thats just me.