16 September 2008

United Nations

I'll do a throwback post tomorrow. Today I want to recap my friday afternoon and open the floor to discussion.

yes I'm disturbed by the hooker boots that came with that barbie

Her is a sampling of my daughters Barbies. She has more but these are the ones I could find. Here is the conversation I had with my baby momma on friday as I was picking up my baby.

*Me sitting down typing a text message waiting for the baby to finish eating a snack, BM in the kitchen*

BM: Stop buying her white barbies... she needs barbies she can relate to!!!
Me: huh? She picks out her barbies
BM: You thin white people buy black barbies? No so don't buy anymore white barbies.
Me: She picks out the barbies based on what they come with, her white barbies came with stuff that the black barbies didn't have.
BM: I don't want her to have them! Don't buy anymore
Baby: Why are you fusing at my daddy, he didn't even do anything!
Me: I know baby, Mommy just wants to fuss
BM: *rolls eyes* She is a black baby, she needs black barbies
Me: she has a bunch of them, she has all kinds of barbies
Baby: Daddy don't say anything else to her *comes over and puts hand over my mouth*
Me: *laughing at the baby* ok baby, I'll be quiet
Baby: He can't talk to you anymore
BM: *goes back in the kitchen mumbling something* honestly I tuned her out and was laughing at my daughter

So here's my thing. These are barbies that I buy and that reside at MY house. I understand my BM's concern that black babies need to play with black dolls that they can identify with but I don't think that playing with a white barbie will make my baby any less black. I mean I played with plenty of white GI Joes and never had a problem. If anything they need barbies that all don't have the same shape. Plus my baby don't care about the color. She wants the stuff they come with. If a black barbie came with the same stuff she would get that one. Why does she have to deal with a racism in her toys?

So is my BM right and I'm wrong for buying white barbies?


pink said...

ummmm...first of all you daughter will probably never be able to "relate" to barbie. and why would you want her to? Barbie is a bimbo. shes needs REAL black women to relate to...a doll is just that...a doll. And even if the barbie is black she still got white girl hair! so what is the baby supposed to think about that? Im sorry but your baby momma is retarded. =/

The Black Russian said...

Your daughter is to funny lol... and so smart children are smarter than we know...I am biracial I grew up with white barbies and white dolls... color shouldn't matter there toys... color shouldn't matter period....Your daughter will grow up with a strong sense of self...knowing who she is and where she comes from... that's what happened with me... I don't let perceptions affect me...I have some issues being mixed but there not doll related lol mabey bm has had an issue when she was a child with image and stuff...things shouldn't be so black and white... what about when your daughter brings friends home as she gets older of different cultures and nationalities??? mabey i am getting ahead here but dolls shouldn't be an issue.. but barbies will always be controversial on some level...image wise from there size and hair and body type there is a debate that barbies give girls an unhealthy image of themselves in general...yes the hooker boots are not the business..

QB said...

i will never begin to believe that this country is going to get over race differences if people keep flipping out about things like the color of barbies. seriously? doesnt she want your daughter to be well rounded and accepting of everyone regardless of their color? and to fight over barbies? that's just sad. like Pink said your daughter needs a real person to relate to not a barbie...

i say keep buying the child whatever barbie she wants/you want. dont listen to that retardedness.

iCandy21 said...

I agree with everyone who commented, and Pink was dead on saying the baby needs a REAL WOMAN to relate to. The color of a barbie is not going to mold your baby into a hater of blacks or give her a false sense of who she should be...if anything barbie period would do that. And seriously at her age children aren't even really paying attentiont to color, and if they are it's bc of someone like ur BM making a big deal about color when it really doesn't matter. I'd take ur baby barbie shoppin and let her pick out whatever color barbies she wants...black, white, yellow, green, mixed, whatever! BM needs to rethink some things.

Big O said...

Snake eyes was my favorite g.i. joe...and i came out fine, lol .

toys will be toys....the real folks in her life will make the true difference.

sweet keikei said...

i used to not mind what color dolls my daughter had until she said she liked the white ones better and she wanted to be white. my baby is 4 years old and for her to come out of her mouth and say that really hurt me. then she said the little mermaid is white and princess is white and that is why white is better. so now i understand that there isn't anything for her to look up to that she can relate to or that looks like her so she thinks white is better.

honestly, i can understand where your bm is coming from with that but each child is different so you do whatever u feel is best but because of what my baby said, i'm not buying her anymore white dolls

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@Pink - The hair is another issue all together, they all have the same hair. Except this one black man barbie that had coarse hair.

@Becky - I don't think my BM thinks my daughter will have any friends that are not black

@QB - I agree, she should play with all colors and creeds.

@Icandy - My baby didn't mention her "white barbies" until her mom made a big deal out of it.

@Big O - Man Snake Eye's was the shyt. I played with him and didn't grow up thinking I was a mute ninja.

@Kei Kei - You know I have a feelings the mom's will view this different. My daughter has never shown a preference to any color doll. If she said something like that then I would be more conscious of it.

Opinionated Diva said...

My short answer is that BM has a point...she could have handled the situation differently though.

and in the immortal words of Forrest Gump..."That's all I'm gonna say about that"

DiamondsR4eva said...

I had plenty of white black and Hispanic Barbies, we were only missing Asian/Pacific Islanders and I could've had the complete collection.

It is true that there are more black or ethnic doll choices available though if its a major concern for the BM maybe you can buy your baby Bratz dolls or something lol

P.S. Your daughter is too cute puttin her hand over your mouth!

RealHustla said...

First off, I don't like the image that Barbie portrays. Barbie's figure and ass length straight hair are something unrealistic for many black girls to want to achieve. If Barbie didn't affect these girls, would there be so many young women willing to wear long weaves and wanting them so bad that they're willing to damage their own hair in exchange? Although Barbie's ribs don't show, the super model's ribs do? Is this healthy?

With all that said, my mom used to buy white babies for me. You're right, I thought their stuff was cooler. But, they'll never bother to put more cool stuff with the black ones if we don't demand it. I started daughter's collection of all black dolls about 15 years ago because I knew I didn't want her playing with white dolls. They all have different skin tones and hair textures. She doesn't even play with dolls a lot and strips them naked when she does. She prefers dressing herself up.

I think your BM just wants the baby to be taught how to love herself. She's not good at expressing herself without making it seem like she's telling you what to do in your house. When my daughter stayed with my mom for the summer, my daughter wore hair extensions the whole time. Bad ones at that. She was effectively taught to hate her hair the way it was. When her natural hair was ungroomed it was "ugh what happened to your hair," "giiirl, you got some rough hair."

I know this is getting long, but I agree with BM. But it is your house, your money, your gifts and BM has to learn how to deal with this. She shouldn't be trying to boss you around, especially in front of the baby.

Oh one more thing. I don't like my daughter to play with dolls that cast spells, i.e. Abracadaby (Sesame Street), and Winks. But, like I said, she loves dress up and can't even understand yet why I don't like her trying to convert us all into pigs with the wave of a wand.

Ieisha said...

1. Your daughter is EXTREMELY perceptive. Your BM should take note and not have certain discussions in front of her.

2. I understand your BM's point however, she is fighting the wrong fight. If she wants your daughter to relate to better women, why not start with self? Barbie is NOT going to create an image that your daughter is going to look up to. She is smart enough to know that Barbie is a toy.

3. Role models cannot be purchased for $8.99. Never have, never will. The people in her circle will shape her identity, her self-esteem and her pride in her race.

3. Keep buying her the Barbies she wants to have. Just because your BM is a racist doesn't mean you have to follow behind her. Teach your daughter to accept all people.

4. I agree, they need a Barbie that reflects real people. But then again, Barbie is a toy and sometimes kids need the imaginary life to play in and not be bombarded with the ignorance, bigotry and prejudiceness that makes up this world.

girlfriend said...

Ieisha stated it so perfectly and as someone who use to religously play Barbies (I'm talking 'bout by the time I turned 10, I had over 200 Barbies- black & white), it's best to allow her to play with dolls of other races so that she's aware of real life. My mother use to watch me play and enjoy seeing my perception of how ppl of different backgrounds acted/spoke. The funniest was when I "tried" to speak Spanish for the Hispanic dolls. But let the baby keep playing with whatever doll she chooses, her self-esteem & outlook on life is mainly effected by mommy and daddy- not Barbie!

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@Diva - This is another reason it would never work between us... lmao

@Diamonds - I despise Bratz dolls. They look crazy as hell

@Hustla - If her complain was about Barbie in general I would fully agree but the black barbies are shaped exactly the same as the white ones with the same hair and everything.

@Ieisha - I agree that kids know the difference between toys and real life. If they didn't they would all think they were elmo.

@girlfriend - 200 barbies? that's crazy.

Ms. Behaving said...

More than half of em' [your daughters dolls I mean] look black to me so...I think your BM is just trippin'.

At the end of the day, it's a doll...

It has nothing to do with the choices your daughter is going to make later on in life.

Besides...that's the problem with the world today...
There's just one to many color issues!!!

One Man’s Opinion said...

Pink called Barbie a Bimbo, that's just wrong.

Okay, first, I don't know why you are talking to your Bowel Movements, but whatever. (Sorry, I could not resist. Don't be mad).

In all seriousness, I think you both have a point. Regardless of what anyone says, playing with all white dolls sends a message to the child's head, whether you want to believe it or not (I have a personal story that I can relate, but it is too long for this comment..no, I did not play with dolls growing up). Anywar, by the same token, since you are buy a diverse section of dolls, I think you are all good. I honestly believe that you are doing your child a greater service by buying her dolls that represent some of everyone from every where, other than just dolls she can see herself in. That's great. I know that the child doesn't care, one way or another, but believe me when I say, that it paints a picture. Good parenting. You are a great Baby Daddy.

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

I believe in balance. I brought my daughter Barbies both black and white.
And any other race.

She collects Barbies now.(High dolls it better pay off $75!!) And she has them form all of the races and countries.

African Barbie, Japanese, Hispanic, Arab so on so on.

Real role models are real women.

Opinionated Diva said...

Uh yeah...the most important reason being that you are a FLAKER Hobe Cryant fan!!

It was a wrap after that bud.

Runningmom said...

1984 I had a black cabbage patch doll and a white cabbage patch doll.

1996 my son had a little black baby he carried around with him EVERYWHERE and a few white ones that he played with on occassion.

To date, we're both well rounded, accepting of people of all colors and no, he isn't gay. lol

Carolyn (cmarie12) said...

I think the Barbie argument is null and void, and just your BM trying to inject her opinion into your life.

I think what's really important is the example that you're setting for your daughter by being in her life and showing her love and acceptance for who she is...she will never really want to be Barbie in any color because she knows that she has the love and adoration of her father...

btw, I raised three daughters who adored Barbie and all of the accoutrements and none of them grew up wanting to be white with blonde hair...I'm just sayin'

BorednTalkative said...

By the looks of it, the majority of those dolls were black anyway, so i don't really see BM's point. Barbie isn't raising your daughter, you are. It is just a toy and she should be able to play with whatever toy she wants, regardless of race. I think your BM just likes to argue with you.

And your daughter is too cute for coming in there and squashing the argument.

MP said...

Your daughter is so funny. She was really sticking up for her daddy!

I think that your BM is wrong in this one. The world isn't all black so her toys shouldn't be either. Children's toy are not the place to make racial statements.

~Kahlua~ said...

I'm biracial and very white-looking. A child of the 70s, they didn't have too many black dolls back then. The closest I ever got was "Midge" (Barbie's) tan-colored friend. My daughter is also bi-racial (Me being mixed and her daddy black, she is more of a copper color) and has had dolls of BOTH colors but not necessarily because we wanted her to "relate" to the damn dolls....because they are DOLLS. It's about teaching kids tolerance and that color shouldn't matter. BM needs to chill and lay off w/all that racial hostility or she's gonna rub it off onto the Baby. Good post! Mind if I "follow you?"

Caspar608 said...

Whatever you do, please do NOT get your daughter an AMERICAN GIRL doll. I was going to get my daughter one that looked just like her...but then I read the "story" of the doll that was supposed to represent little African American girls and the little doll was "Hattie" and she was a RUNAWAY SLAVE!!!! That was the BEST the racists over at AMerican Girl dolls could do for little girls of color? To me, it was a psychological attack on my daughter saying "listen, all the other little girls worked for newspapers and did heroic stuff, and even though escaping slavery and oppression is heroic, we just want to remind you that you are a slave, therefore beneath Abigail etc." I damn near started a riot in the 5th Avenue store. They couldnt make the child/doll of color a little Madame C.J. Walker or one of the many African American sisters out there doing it big back in the day??? The little doll had to be a runaway slave???? WTF???? I felt sorry for the doll and it was an inanimate object. Anyway, yeah, the whole doll thing is cool. I played with both black and white dolls and I played with my Barbies till I was 16.
You are a good dad by the way!!!