24 October 2008

the Growth pt 3

This is kinda a continuation of 2 other Growth posts I did here and here.

I went to my homeowners annual meeting last night and saw a good 30 people there. Mind you our usual homeowners meeting has like 6 people. If you come to the Annual one you get 1 month of dues free. Free money brings people out everytime.

I was in there listening to people complain about crap and thinking about life and in particular my life and where I want to go. My daughter was playing with a barbie and whispering her dinner order in my ear (she wanted chicken nuggets, french fries and milk, she got spagatti) And I realized that my life has become a constant to do list. Not so much routine but a constant list of things I need to do. To the point I feel bad when I sit and do nothing. All I can think about is dinner, dishes, laundry, designs, homework or cleaning. There is always something that I should be doing. I read during my commute because I can't possibly waste time like that when I'm home. Today I went to lunch with a new friend and I had a moment when I realized I had nothing to to. I didn't HAVE to get back to work, I could afford to do nothing for a minute. It was refreshing. I always realize these moments and take a min to enjoy them. Like when I go crabbing, I make it a point to take a deep breath of the cool fresh bay air. It's those moments that keep me grinding. In hope that I can have them more often.

I guess this Growth moment is about taking the time to enjoy life. Even if it's once a day. Laugh at a joke, smile at a child do something to remind yourself that life is not all about work and money and stress. Honestly the things I remember most are not the things I bought but the moments I had. The laughs out weigh the sadness in my memories. I really miss my brother. He moved to Houston eariler this year. We super close, anytime we together it's not only a party but a funny party. Just typing this I'm remembering all the times we were crying laughing at something silly. I miss those days. Even inbetween all the stresses of life having fun was the top priority.

My other thoughts focused on change. How I've changed just this year. I'm more composed then every before. I think my confidence has grown. I doubt myself less and just go with my decisions. Good or bad I make them and roll with it. I think I'm becoming comfortable with this whole fatherhood thing. I realized that it doesn't have to define me but it does describe me. I'm not only a father but I am father first. I hope that made sense. Anyway this is getting long, you can thank Diva for suggesting I write another growth post.

Have a good weekend!!!

11 comments:

Opinionated Diva said...

I luv these!

And yes the fatherhood statement makes sense...obviously your daughter comes first in your life.

You are such an optimist...with your glass half full and stop and smell the roses theory. That's not a bad thing, I'm not busting your chops so stop side-eye'g me.

Go visit your brother.

Carolyn (cmarie12) said...

I really like the fatherhood statement. You bring hope to a middle age black woman who is the mother of three daughters that there are young black men out there willing do the right thing! I'm sure your mother is proud...great post btw!

CocaColaCutie said...

awww...look at superdavey being all reflective. you really are a great father and i hope that one day when i'm a mother i have a father for my kids as great as you are to that cute little girl!

The Black Russian said...

Your an amazing father!!! They need more men out there like you who value fatherhood as a wonderful thing, not a chore that they don't want to do.... teach a fatherhood class something Dave to educate these men and boys!!!!!!! stepping off soapbox lol... anyways great growth blog... sometimes you need time to stop and smell the roses!!!! great that you are able to take a break and just be...

RealHustla said...

Ahhhh, I'm all teared up and errrthang.

Now tell us about that date you went on.

RunningMom said...

I agree - It's very cool that Super Dave is also Super Dad.

It's a shame that so many of us women are so thrilled by a man that's a good father. The one I love is a great father, it's one of his most attractive features!

MP said...

wow i feel like my life is a constant to do list too. i never thought about it like that but I plan to really take the time to stop and smell the roses. Great post!

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@Diva - Thanks. Roses don't smell all that good to me... lol

@Carolyn - I'm sure your daughters will be fine. There are plenty of men out here who act right.

@ColaCutie - superdavey... I like it... lol

@Becky - Thanks, I don't know if I need to be teaching anyone though. I'm still learning

@Hustla - FRIEND not date. I do make friends that I don't date.

@Runningmom - I agree, It's a shame women are attracted to what men are supposed to do.

@MP - Just make sure you don't stop too long. Otherwise you become a bum... lol

Big O said...

i think its good that we have those moments of clarity. i feel that i been having that moment for a couple months.

Ieisha said...

Growth moment, eh? It's probably your arm hair growing a tainch longer, lol.

But seriously, a good piece of advice to reflect on growth that we have.

Refreshing things.

Aaah!

:-)

Anonymous said...

You're right...it is a shame women are attracted to what men are SUPPOSED to be doing. Active, loving fathers are sooo sexy...because they are so rare.

-kayellejaye