16 December 2008

Broke Dating

This post is inspired by this girl i saw yesterday on the train. She stared me dead in my eyes for like 10 seconds and I didn't say a word. It was early and my brain wasn't functioning yet. I kinda remember her face but I definitely remember her coat. It was like a cream wool trench, pretty nice... lol

sidebar: You like how I always talk about the girls I DON'T talk to huh. I think we already discussed why I don't mention people I DO date. It's bad JuJu. moving on...

As she stood 1 foot away from me on the train my mind decided to wake up and I got to thinking about I loose all desire to date based on my bank account. When I'm broke women are the furtherest thing from my mind. When I go out I like to not be on a budget. I don't want to have $40 and give some girl an evil eye because she ordered a steak... lol. I'd much rather just focus on having a good time and not how much it's going to cost. This is within reason of course, I only spoil my daughter.

I just hate counting the drinks at a bar and doing the math in my head or being out and not being able to do something I want to do because it's not in the budget. Like going to dinner then deciding to catch a movie, only you can't because your broke. That's the worst.. lol.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the girl on the train and why I didn't speak to her, other than the fact that my bank account directly effects my confidence. Even though the girl doesn't know, me knowing what I can and cant afford effects me. I get into a "whats the point" frame of mind. Like even if I do get her number I'm not going to ask her out because I can't afford to go anywhere. Granted I could always get her number and stall till I'm able to have some fun. I realize my logic doesn't make sense but that's why it's mine and not yours.. lol.

Oh yeah that girl got off at my stop too, she works around here so I'm sure I'll see her again. Hopefully she will have the same coat on so I can recognize her... lol

23 comments:

RealHustla said...

This post was very enlightening. If I were her, I would have preferred that you got my number and stalled till we could have some fun.

Just O said...

you probably gonna catch it for this post.

but i can someone see the logic...somewhat lol

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

Okay I am finished laughing.

There are girls out there who don't mind doing simple things like going to the park for a walk. Or well I am out of ideas.

Everything doesn't have to revolve around a dollar bill. . .which is what you got. . a dollar bill. . .hey you wrote it.

I am only messing with you.

Ms. Behaving said...

Uhhh...You do realize that not alllll women are money-hungry leeches don'tcha???

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@Hustla - Thinking back I probably should have just got the number.

@Big O - I'm ready for the darts, There was too much love over here anyway.. lol

@Sharon - lol... I have a couple dollar bills, just not enough to but a drink at the park. I don't mind being teased, I can take what I give.

@Ms Behaving - who said anything about money-hungry? This was not the gold digger post lol I might do that next.

nikki said...

find u a sugahmomma and it's all taken care of. i'm sure you can find you a fine ass cougar to keep you in the lifestyle you're accustomed to having.

The Jaded NYer said...

Don't worry- it works both ways. If I don't have the money to pay for the evening, even if he's paying, I don't go. A woman needs to be able to pick up the check just in case because one never knows...

And don't be so hard on yourself. We all have something that we use to keep from dating. When I encounter a potential beau I'm always like, "I'm too busy and jaded for him." and then I shut it down! lol

Ieisha said...

Drooling over the coat. I have a complete visual of it now.

This has inspired a post just so you know.

But for you, when it comes to that, your mind is made up but always remember that some of the best things in life are free.

Babs said...

You can have a perfectly nice date for $40. Don't let a lack of benjamins stop you from meeting a nice girl! All dates do not equal dinner and drinks.

Caspar608 said...

You seem to have a nice house...
whats wrong with getting to know someone over coffee/tea and good conversation, or lunch, phone calls (BACKGROUND CHECKS when you find out her full name and date of birth) and inviting her over for a romantic dinner (and considering the way you cook, it would be delicious as well as romantic) and a rented movie from Netflix or Blockbuster? A bottle of nice Cabernet, some popcorn. If she has any class, she'll bring the wine and the goodies...the popcorn and juju beans kind of goodies, mister ; )
Sometimes entertaining at home is more comfortable and affordable and you see the real person behind the outside persona.

Just a suggestion : )

Peace,
Cas

p.s. no such thing as broke when you know how to work it baby ; )

kayellejaye said...

No romance without finance for poor lil Dave? You need to start getting creative with some cheap-o dates so you can get some luvin.

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@nikki - You talking about my dream now!

@Jaded - You are too busy and Jaded.. lol

@Ieisha - Drooling? naw it was a nice one though.

@Babs - I agree $40 can be a good date, I just don't like the limit.

@KGB - you name the cheap date and we can go =)

Creative1k said...

I'm sure it's been said several times, but what's wrong with catching a movie and a pizza at the crib. I mean if we're both grown then it can be understood that it's about spending time getting to know one another. Not about how much $$$ you have to dish out on the date with me. Call me simple, but that's my opinion! :>)

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@Caspar - Invite someone to the bat cave? are you crazy? AND cook for them? what if I don't like them? once you feed the animals they never leave... lmao

@Creative1k - Call me weird but I'd rather go out than chill in the crib, It's not about the money it's about my mind state.

clnmike said...

I know what you mean, you cant let loose if yyour money is short no matter how cool the woman is, it just doesnt feel right.

QB said...

Mostly I agree with everyone saying you need to get a little creative and have cheap dates until you get to know the person and know it's someone you want to actually spend your money on. why would you wanna go out on a date drop more than $40 and then decide you never want to talk to her again? Nah dude. Find things to do that don't cost $

also I agree with Jaded NYer it goes both ways. A lot of women don't wanna go out with you if they dont have the money to pay for it themselves... you never know what could happen. So you arent alone. :o)

wow that was a long as comment. sorry for the mini-book. ;o)

Caspar608 said...

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell : )

Get to know the person FIRST. BACKGROUND CHECK is imperative.

It feels like you hit me in the head with a frying pan. OUCH.

Darius T. Williams said...

You've got the right idea here. If you're broke and have to count dollars at the bar for a date - then you shouldn't be going out. Just my theory.

Ha, and these women are too funny. They may not be money hungry, but they're definitely not about to date a broke man.

Ms. Lovely said...

wow..that was honest of you..Most guys I know always try to say they can pull most chicks just off the strength of wanting too(ego)..I feel where you're coming from tho.

From a woman's perspective: I hate going out on a date without any money..In this day and age I have no idea whether he's gonna pay my bill or not, so I don't assume. So if I don't have and money..I won't go.

Eb the Celeb said...

uuummmm... i want you to talk about the chicks that you do date!

thecomebackgirl.com said...

I just found this blog on single sisters kewl..

i agree..DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR DATES..its so bad luckish..been there done that..

RunningMom said...

I know Im a little late, but let me reiterate, next time, get the number and make the first few dates simple and inexpensive.

Damn, we're in a recession, next to no one is spending the big bucks anymore.

You could go to a museum, go for a walk, work on a volunteer project, go to yoga, there's a bazillion things I could think of that don't include inviting her into the "bat cave" unitl you are ready (lol @ that)

futurmrsg said...

If you see her again, which most likely you will, you should approach her. You NEVER know what could happen.