09 May 2008

Where I'm From

Ok so I was talking shit about the NBA playoffs with Opinionated Diva and I mentioned how I'm a lakers fan since I an originally from southern cali. She mentioned I didn't seem like a Cali dude and since she all nosy I figured I'd post my lil journey across the US.

So sometime in November in the late 70's I was born, Yep I'm just barely a 70's baby. I grew up on a military base in souther California. I lived like 5 min from the beach (15 min on bicycle) and I could see the pacific from my back yard. I remember seeing Navy ships in the ocean, it was just part of life. So anyway while most people in the military moved from place to place my family stayed put while my dad traveled everywhere. I remember he would come home the most random times. He be gone for a year pop up for and stay for like a week and roll back out. I didn't really understand it then but I guess it was for the best. Me and my sister asked him last year if he had another family we should know about, you know for the insurance money and all lol. My moms not one for traveling so we stayed on the base and I had a pretty normal childhood. I spent my time running the streets with my crew, we rode bikes, skateboards and went hiking (yeah I skateboarded before it was cool). It was a real suburban life. Except me bing me I got brought home by the police a couple times. Once for B&E (that's breaking and entering) and another for trying to catch fish in a resovior. I don't know what I was thinking about, I'm still amazed I didn't get locked up, those police were real nice. The whole story behind both of them are really stupid so I'll save that for later. So anyway me and the crew were cool until my mom decided that she wanted to move back home. Now both my dad and her are from the DC area so I have all kinds of family here. So in Dec of 94 she decided to pack it up, leave my dad and move back east.

I remember the night we left, My dad gave me $100 and told me to check out Kings Dominion. That's all the advice this dude had for me...lol Little did I know I wouldn't see/talk to him again for a nice long while. I don't even think he paid my mom child support. We got here Dec 4th and stayed with my grandma. My sister is 6years older than me so when we moved east she stayed out west. Eventually she made her way out here too. I remember I cried the first night I was here. I missed home sooo much, I realized I would never see my friends again and I had to start over. I couldn't even fight with my sister because she was gone. That one event changed how I viewed life. I never really became attached to stuff anymore because I remembered that loss. since then I've always just let stuff go, I appreciate what I have today because it may be gone tomorrow. Anyway back to the story. Talk about a culture shock, They call this place chocolate city and I saw why, I had never seen so many black people in my life. I remember my first day of school I was just amazed that we had so many black kids in my class. I was used to 2 maybe 3 black kids, now we had like 1 white kid and no hispanics. What kind of crazy world was this? Where did ya'll hide the other people? I didn't know anyone and I was bored hanging around my grandma and mom. I wanted to run the streets. Luckily me and my cousins hit it off quickly and we hung tight every weekend. I was 12 I think, I spent the last 1/2 of 8th grade at school alone, I didn't really make any friends. Next year I went to high school with my cousins and everything was different. I didn't stand out so much anymore, honestly I adapted to this east coast way of life quickly. I think my dad's blood finally woke up inside of me. I was still different enough where people could guess I wasn't from DC but I was cool with that. Hell I couldn't ignore my childhood I was who I was. I spent 1 year in school with my cousins and then My mom decided to move across town. New apartment, new school. I don't remember being even a lil scared on my first day I went to school and did my thing. I was quite but not shy. I still hung with my family on the weekends and I went to school with a real careless attitude. I didn't care if I fit into any groups, had a bunch of friends or did anything extraordinary. I went to school to graduate, All I really wanted to do was get thru the week so I could run the street with my cousins on the weekend. I finally went back to Cali my 10th grade year and my sister swears I called my dad by his first name. I don't remember it but hey I was damn near a grown man by then, I grew up quick out here. I had father figures in my uncles (my dad's brothers) so really I didn't need him anymore and maybe I let it show a lil bit. I had already forgot about how nice and sunny it is out there, the palm trees the sky the ocean everything just seemed more like a vacation. I can understand why people want to live there. I went back again last November to visit my old man(so I've seen him twice in 16 years). Even the drive there from Vegas was nice, you see mountains with snow topped peaks. You drive thru death valley and then you see a bunch of palm trees. You see Orange and lemons groves it's really a beautiful place. Me? I'm more than happy kicking it in chocolate city. Give me the smog, snow and city life. I'm Cali Born but DC raised. I'm like Biggie. Cali, Great place to visit.

06 May 2008

27 tuxes.. part duex

I realized that I left some stuff out of the last post so consider this the continuation.

First off let me say that I was a lil upset the best man didn't invite me and my godbrother (we were both groomsmen) to the bachelors party. I mean I understand that I'm not super tight with the groom but damn we cool enough to watch strippers together. They claimed that they called us but we didn't answer, thats bullshit but I can't blame the groom because I'm sure he didn't plan anything. So for the record I'll be in 2 weddings and I'll at 0 bachelors parties, I'm about to throw my own party just for the hell of it. And when I get married my grooms men are going to Vegas and acting a damn fool.

I went out with the bridesmaid last night (Please don't tase me DreamCop) we caught a movie. I know that breaks my first date rule but it's not like I just met this girl. She is my god-sister's friend so I have seen her around at BBQ's and such we just never really sat and talked till the wedding. Plus it was a monday night what more do you want from me? Anyway she has potential or as my man BossMack might say, I can add her to the stable lol. I figure I'll see how it goes while my god-sister is on her honeymoon then tell her when she gets back. I have no idea how she is going to feel about it.

The ushers at the wedding felt like they had the best jobs, they got to dress in suits and had an excuse to talk to every pretty girl that walked in. I told them they should start a usher company and contract themselves out.

You know that tradition where the man who catches the guarder belt puts it on the woman who catches the bouquet... yeah that doesn't go to well when the dude is 21 and the lady is 60. It does lead to a nice good laugh though.

Speaking of the guarder tossing in a pool of 15 dudes 1 dude, he had to be about 50, literally blocked us out like he played power forward for the Wizards. I didn't even want to catch the damn thing but I started to throw an elbow just because. All that effort and he drops the the guarder to let the 21 year old dude catch it.

If you want to have fun go up to the photographer and tell him he is doing an excelent job. This is guaranteed to start a funny convo with stories of weddings gone wrong. Wedding photographers have seen it all.

05 May 2008

27 tuxes

So I was in my God-sisters wedding this weekend. It was fun but I realized that I'll be in 2 weddings this year and I've been in 4 in the last 4 years. I really missed the "Hey everyone lets get married!" memo all my friends passed around. Anyway here is a recap of the days events.

The wedding was supposed to start at 3:30pm, so they told all the groomsman to be at the reception place at 12:30 so we could get dressed and a limo was going to pick us up and drive us to the church. This was cool because our car would already at the reception place and we wouldn't have to worry about a ride back to the church. Of course me being the on-time non-CPT person that I am I get there at 1:00 thinking I'm late. Nope I'm the only one there. Not only that the whole place is closed, security guard talking about he knows nothing about it and I can't come in. So I sit outside waiting on the groom to show up. Once he and a couple other groomsmen get there we decide to go get dressed at the church. Now I could have gotten dressed at home, it's not like I needed makeup or something but Hey it's thier wedding I'm just doing as I'm told.

Once we get to the church everything is cool, people walking around taking pictures. We are dressed and standing in the hall like a bunch of well dressed high school kids. We joke about this and that, nobody is close to nervous not even the groom. By the way it's 4pm, yep the wedding is late. Now we are standing in ANOTHER location waiting to walk into the church. The happy couple wanted to have doves released after the ceremony and the dove guy pops his head in and asks "What's going on? ya'll have not started yet?" We all give him the "Who you telling" look. It's about 5pm.

Ceremony finally starts, it was hot as hell in that church and all the groomsmen were sweating in they tuxes. Even the groom had to break out the handkerchief like 8 times. I'm sure people thought he was nervous but it was just hot up there in the spotlight, This is not a good look. I'm hot standing in front of everyone and getting more bored by the second. People in the crowd are waving at me, I'm like WTF??? am I supposed to wave back? ya'll trying to get me killed. My godsister don't play. She younger then me but she will curse me out the same. So as the preacher reads his stuff but he is messing up so my baby directs him from under her weding viel. My godsister is a beast she's wispering shyt to him about how he not following the program. Then this baby started crying. My god-sister looks back like she was about to put a hit out on that poor child. I start to worry that this could get ugly, luckily the momma takes the kid out and everything gets back to normal. Then the wedding singer starts singing a lil too emotionally, it's the funniest thing I saw and I couldn't even laugh at him because I was up front. Dude had on a black blazer with silver glitter all over it, I'm looking to the sky for help as the bridesmaids are looking at me trying not to laugh.

This blog is getting kinda long so I'll wrap things up. The wedding cake was so good that I might buy one just for the hell of it(they said it was $5 a slice from the bakery so maybe I'll just get 2 slices). These people had an ice sculpture, doves and a hummer limo but a cash bar. I was upset because I wanted to get FUBAR. I even had a bottle of Patron in the trunk but guess what?? my car was at the church &*%^%*&!!!! anyway, I walked into the reception with this girl who shares my last name... kinda awarkward since they anounce names of the bridal party at the reception. I could feel my mom give me the side eye until they announced "No relation", Then she was all smiles. While we were mingling around that same bridesmaid and I were going for a walk and I stopped to say hi to my mom. My mom was like "Is this the Mrs?" I laugh about it till my mom says "She would make a good choice" I said a quick gotta go and got the hell out of dodge. why my momma trying to marry me off? I already gave her ass a grandchild what more does she want from me? The bridesmaid said something else to my mom and caught up with me outside. We chatted for a while exchanged numbers and I arranged transportation back to our cars. This post was hella long, thanks for taking the time to read it. Here is a pic of me taken by the bridesmaid at the reception.