14 May 2008

Reason #5,678 why I hate being a Baby Daddy

I try real hard not to talk bad about my baby momma. I don't think I've said anything negative about her on here and honestly I think about her as little as possible in my daily life. That said we had this convo yesterday:

ME: Hello?
BM: I noticed a juice box in P's lunch box, the Dr said no juice
Me: It's a Mots Tots, it's half juice and half water.
BM: the dr said no juice, it's unnecessary. You know them companies lie about what's in the box. You can put water in her lunch
Me: The ingredient list is purified water, apple juice and vitamin C. And it's 54% juice so either the rest is water or a hell of alot of vitamin C
BM: Whatever and stop giving her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She needs some protien for lunch.
Me: the peanuts are protein.
BM: They have a bunch of fat in them, you know body builders eat them to bulk up.
Me: yeah body builders need the protein.
BM: And it's full of sugar did you know that?
Me: yeah it has 2grams of sugar in it.
BM: Oh... Whatever!!! let me talk to P..
P: hi
BM: you remember the dr said no juice, you can have water if your thirsty
P: ok
BM: I'ma come pick you up from daddy's later, do you want a Popsicle tonight?
P: yes

This is my life, she calls me up to complain about a damn PB&J and watered down juice but turns around and offers our daughter Popsicles. She doesn't even see how hypocritical that was either. I just ignored her and went back to cooking dinner. What did I make you ask? grilled Salmon, steamed broccoli and rice. I know, I know, I feed my daughter crap all the time.

13 May 2008

Live From the Corner Pt. STFU

Ok so I'm the youngest person on my team. Which means a couple things, first I get to make "I remember back in the day" jokes all the time and whenever someone new comes on board I have to prove to they that I know my shyt. I'm the type of person who play around alot and cracks jokes all day. That is until it's time to work, then I'm a true straight to the point asshole. I want my respect damnit!!!

This leads me to our newest co-worker, Dude is like 50 maybe and is constantly taking about how he been in computers for 30 years and shyt. Now this is nice and all but I don't care how they did things in the 80's. hell I don't care how they did things in the 90's this is how things are done now. Dude is one of them slick talking people who don't say shyt. You know the type who can repeat what you just said but make it sound better. Them people you always have a comment only the comment didn't ad to the convo. Yeah I hate that. I know what I said and I said it right, I don't need a parrot. Anyway he's a slick dude and he kinda hits on all the women in the office, I noticed this but couple have mentioned how he is just creepy. So he's on dirty old man status with me.

Then to top is all of he don't even know shyt. He came and asked me a question. I told him steps he could take and even provided a manual he could review. You know this bamma came back and asked for more help. I asked if he did the first steps I suggested and he only did the the 1st one. I was like WTF!!! your bothering me again? how about you follow directions? I told him the same steps AGAIN and even asked him if he got it. He repeated it word for word and went about his biz. Next morning was a straight repeat. I couldn't believe it. So I asked more direct "Did you do the other stuff I suggested?"... Nope, then he rolls from my desk real quick. He's a friendly dude but I'm sorry but I don't have the energy for the BS. If you wanna talk cars, women, TV whatever I'm good but when it comes to work this is how I feed my daughter, you can't expect me to hold your hand.

Speaking of my daughter remember that "Daddy Special" ponytail I give my daughter mentioned a while back? yeah here is a pic of it.

For the record this was a poor effort even by my standards but it's enough to give you the general idea.