18 July 2008

Live From the Corner.... pt Tales from the Dark Side

I wanna show you a picture.

You see that? No? that's because it's dark. that was a pic from my desk the other morning. it was like 7am and all the lights in the office were out. But our PC's had power and the lil light at my desk worked so technically i could still work. Someone called building maintenance and was told that they are not at work yet. What??? don't they work 24/7? the security is here all night why not maintenance? and besides that it's 7am don't they work early? that's some BS if you as me. So we chilled in the dark for a couple hours. the lights eventually came on around 9am. I actually preferred working in the dark. It kept the office cool.

Anyway heres some campaign trail news...

I went to my homeowners association last night and found out that treasurer had his house broken into. I wasn't really shock by that but then he said that the people took some guns and cash. not just any guns but a shotgun, pistol and a AR-15 my first thought was WTF?? is that legal? turns out he bought them legally and they are registered to him. so now there is an automatic rifle on my streets. it was probably some kids who don't know shyt and are just playing with it in the mirror. This breakin was dude's fault though. he went out of town and didn't even lock his deadbolt. I'm guessing he has lived in the country his entire life and is just used to no locking shyt. I learned a valuable lesson from that meeting, You never know what your neighbors are holding. I have another neighbor who I know has hunting rifles because I've seen him in his full hunting gear. He seems nice enough so I never worried about it. But damn who knows how much ammo he has stashed in his house.

16 July 2008

I'm just saying...

Lets say you have 2 kids
Lets say you yell at these kids EVERYDAY. and I mean everyday.
Lets say these kids ignore the hell out of you because you yell so much it's just background noise to them
Lets say you fuss to the point that you get frustrated and send said kids to their fathers so you can get a break
Lets say you fuss about stupid shyt like not wanting your 11 year old wash his hands in the kitchen.
Lets say that as soon as they are gone you miss them and can't wait to see them again.
Lets say that even after missing them a couple hours with them and your ready to send the off again
Lets say this happens anytime you spend over 3 hours at a time with them
Given all that why the hell would you take those kids to Disney World by your self? that's just plain stupid right?
Why call me and complain? I knew it was a bad idea that's why I said I wasn't going. Why fly to FL to listen to you argue with your kids for a couple days? I wanna have fun.
Thats all I'm saying.

Anyway Diva requested a "Live From the Corner" update

I'ma ignore her Celtic fan ways and grant it.

I actually got to move my desk to the OTHER corner of the "pod". Now my i'm not by the hallway anymore and nobody can sneak up on me. I love it. The guy we call "hustleman" got a new job so I took his desk. At his going away party we had sandwiches which were pretty good. You notice differences between groups when they have parties. when my group goes out we go to restaurants in the area to get a nice long lunch break. This other group ordered sandwiches and went to a conference room. it was a different experience. One of my Co-workers is a member of some fateranty and he went down to help with the AKA's national convention or whatever it was. Do you know this bamma came back and TOLD me about all the fine women there... he could have invited me to go. I like fine women. Get this he's already married!! so he can't even enjoy the women. That's some BS right there.

Hey I just realized this is my 100th post. sweet!!!

14 July 2008

27 tuxes... the finale

So my boy got married over the weekend and I realized that that was the last wedding that I could be a groomsman in. I'm kinda mad my cousin didn't have a wedding so I won't get the chance to be a best man. I have like 1 friend that's not married and if he does get married I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be a groomsman. So the next wedding I'll be in will be mine. Anyway on to the show.

It was an afternoon outdoor wedding and we had on wool tuxes. I was worried that I would sweat out the tux but it turns out that it wasn't that hot and the groom was sweating way more than anyone else. He was nervous as hell. It was funny to me so I cracked a bunch of jokes. The way I see it a wedding should be full of laughs and smiles. We jokes that my boy was Groomzilla because he was ordering people around left and right. he even told us to button BOTH buttons our jackets because that's what he wanted, not that it was stylish. Anyway this lead to me making Godzilla sounds every time he gave an order. He didn't laugh much about it but everyone else did. He just wanted everything to be sooo perfect. You know your at an expensive wedding when all the flowers are real. even the flower on my lapel was real. I was soo not used to that. It even fell apart as I was walking around. real flowers are delicate things.

I want to dispel the myth that all colored people are late. This wedding was full of white people and they were like 45 min late, and I was early so you can't blame me. the good thing was that the wedding was super quick. I'm talking about 20 min from the time we walked to the front to us walking back down the isle. even the bartender at the reception was amazed about the speed of the wedding. We spent more time taking pics then in the wedding. the wedding was on the water so a bunch of people came past on their boats. they stared at us so I waved at them, I'm friendly like that... lol And then there was the reception....

First let me say there was an open bar. I think all weddings should have them but that's just me. Then there was this Wedding Singer. I've never been to a wedding that actually had a wedding singer Emceeing. Dude was singing along to songs and dancing on the dance floor all while talking into the mic. They started out playing all 80s music. This had me worried, but they slowly progressed threw the 90's and 2000. Thats around the time the impossible happened. See they were playing the electric slide and seeing 30 white people do the slide is funny enough but the DJ decided to play Justin Timberland's Sexy Back next. The music stared playing only the people kept doing the electric slide. So for about 2 minutes 30 white people did the electric slide to Sexy back. I really wish I could have video taped it, It was amazing. They also did the booty call and some other line dance. Speaking of the dance floor, this dude and his girl were on there like it was a club. I mean he was damn near molesting her on the dance floor. I wanted to tap him on the shoulder and let him know there were both kids and older people around him but I don't think he cared. His mind was on getting some ass after the wedding and I can't hate on him for that. This same dude was at my table for the reception and he was making out with the girl. This seemed real tacky to me but hey he was 23 and he might not have known better. Plus he might have been really drunk. Anyway....

The star here was the wedding singer. I mean this dude was soo bad that me and my buddy (not the groom) had this convo:

Buddy: Man I'm glad I got my education
Me: so you don't have to dance, sing and ruin receptions across the country?
Buddy: yeah, not to mention dance with little kids. He thinks this is about him

And my buddy was right, this dude wanted to be the star. some people at another table told him to stop talking for a while and he got a lil upset. Like I said I'm never witnessed a wedding singer live so I have no idea what he is supposed to do but this dude was over doing it. Someone asked me what I thought he got paid and I simply said "too much". Dude is a star in his own mind.

Besides the wedding singer is was a great reception. The bride and groom gave each other real kisses, you know usually it's that fake peck on the lips. They really went for it, it was refreshing to see, my boy is really in love.

Oh yeah, here's the pics of me in my monkey suit. I joked that we looked like waiters at a bad seafood restaurant. And nope I didn't come home with a bridesmaid this time. I was 1 of 2 black people at this thing so I did have many options.

This is me and the groomsman. The groom is on the far left.

Me after the wedding waiting to take pics. See the beautiful Chesapeake bay in the background.