25 July 2008

True Story...

I worked extra late to make up some hours so I was sitting on a train I usually never catch. I was chillin in my seat, I had my mp3 player on shuffle. It's played 3 straight Joe Budden tracks. I switched to the next song... 100% by Big Pun. That's when she walked on. My first thought was damn she's gorgeous. Even my mp3 player knew. She was 100%. She sat about 10 feet from me but there were about 15 people between us. I could barely see her thru the people. The train was packed. She put her head down on her jacket that was draped over her left hand. I couldn't tell if she was married or not but girls that fine can't be single. She was about 24 - 25, had on a tan skirt and some kind of leather heels. I love women in heels. She was damn near perfect physically. Brown skin, shoulder length hair. real hair not that lace front stuff. She looked up at me a couple times, sorry I couldn't help but stare. I could see us getting married and her her having my kids. Damn these people on the train. I hate people right now. You hear me PEOPLE SUCK!!! She put her head back down. You can tell she's had a long day. Even though you could tell she was tired she was still beautiful. You know what gorgeous or beautiful are not the words for her. I need to think of something more vivid for her...... I'm drawing a blank. She's making me dumb. That's it she is Dumb Gorgeous. That's the best way I can explain it. She looks so good dudes must get dumb around her. She even looks like a nice person. Like she likes to laugh. Damn I should get off the train with her just to speak but it's 6pm and i'm already late to pick the baby up. My daughter won't understand if i'm extra late because I had to meet her future step-mom.... Damn. She glanced at me again. Now she has her hand over her eyes like she trying to hide. I really wish I could see if she is married or not. This sucks. If she married than I have a valid reason for not talking to her. Otherwise I have no excuse besides these damn people in my way. Some girl just got on the train with 2 lil boys. I do the right thing and give up my seat. Now I'm standing with the people who are blocking me from my destiny. Damn these people. I need an opening. Next stops gone, she still here. Maybe she is getting off on my stop. Am I that lucky? She's looking at the lil boys and their mom. She's giving them a fond "I love kids" look. I'm standing next to them. My stop is next. She's not budging. I'm forced to get off the train and leave her till next time. DC is a small city, I'm sure to run into her again. That's the only thing consoling me right now. My weekend is getting off to a horrible start.

I'm coming up the escalator walking to my car, the mp3 player decided to play some Jill Scott, Crown Royal. I'm debating on changing to something else when she walks by. My first thought was damn she's sexy. She's walking super fast, I guess she is running late too. She was wearing a black dress and sandals. She had the walk of a model, like she just knew she was fine.............

24 July 2008

Being Black in America

this entire post brought to you by Nas new album NIGGER (I'm calling it what he wanted to call it)

Hopefully everyone saw the Being Black in American series on CNN or at least read about it somewhere. I was talking to my co-worker about it and he said he didn't like that they separated the series into 2 segments 1. The black woman and family and 2. the black man. How can you talk about the have the family without the man? that's automatically separating the black man from the black family. Granted that's just the way of life for most children in America but your reinforcing that ideal by separating the topics. I didn't think about it till he said something but he is right. They should have either done 3 topics (women, men, family) or 1 addressing black people as a whole. Don't bundle women and family together. You can't have a family without a man in there somewhere.

While we on the topic what is considered a single mom? like can my baby momma be considered a single mom? They do stats based on wheather the parents are married not how involved the parents are in the child's life. So 70% of babies are born out of wedlock but it's not like my daughter is being raised by 1 parent. We just don't share a house. Technically she counts in that 70% but her life is going to be much different that that child born to a teenage mom who's boyfriend left and never looked back. So when they give those statistics it doesn't paint a real picture.

Even when then they showed successful people it seemed like they had issues. One family living in a upper class suburb, doing well who's son just happened to get arrested on a battery charge. They showed successful black men who just happened to be married to white women. Granted I didn't catch the whole thing but I didn't see one dude like me or family like mine on there. Everyone seemed to be one extreme or another. I guess normal is not so interesting.

Over all I think it was an odd thing to watch. Half way thru I started to think who this was marketed to? blacks in america or the rest of america. I mean talking around my office I think we all agreed that we knew most the stuff they were talking about. We live being black in america. Hell even the white guys in our office said they knew all that stuff. So maybe it's marketed to the rest of america. Middle america who never see's black people , maybe they learned something. Maybe one of them billionaires were watching and decided to but thier money to good use and start an organization to help. Or maybe it was ment to show black people that we need to be doing better. A teenage girl came to my house a couple weeks ago selling magazine subscriptions. She was from Dallas and was shocked to see a suburb full of black people. So maybe it was for kids like her to see that there is a way out and black and successful are not mutally exclusive things.

your thoughts?

Random ish

I need a date. I sooo want to go see batman tomorrow but I'll be damn if I go alone. I just can't go to the movies solo, it's just one of my many quirks. I tried to go see is last week with my buddy but of course it was sold out. We saw Handcock instead. It was pretty good, all the critics shyted on it for some reason. yeah I could ask the same girl out again but I don't really want to. I need to meet someone new.

Am I the only person who watched that "being black in america" on CNN last night and was shocked that 5% of the population in DC is HIV positive? I knew it was high but damn 1 in 20 people. Not just adults but PEOPLE... kids too. That's a AIDS crisis on par with a country in africa. I might just be celibate or just import Dreamy from the NO... lol On that same note AIDS is the #1 killer of black women 26 to 34. Shyts real people.

I wonder if I could actually be celebate? hhhmmm... I don't know, I really like titties... lol

My house is really messy. I have clothes and shoes everywhere. I've been trying to clean it for the past month. I'm a horrible homemaker. I just wanted to share that.

My daughter's 4 now. She asks me questions all day long. When I ask her to spell her name she tells me "dddddaaaaaaddddyyyyy.... Stop asking a million questions!" I'm confused... lol

I finally got my daughter hooked on Simpsons. I'm proud of myself. Much better than The Wonder Pets.

21 July 2008

It's in my nature

I recently had this convo with on of my friends:

Friend: how come i don't hear from you unless I text or call u?
Me: damn hi to you too. You know how I am i don't call/text anyone unless I want something. I'm a crappy friend.
Friend: Could you please work on that U are neglecting me and I don't like it
Me: Sorry baby it's in my nature. You should know this by now.
Friend: i am trying to hope u will change and become a better friend. bu I am so giving up hope.

Here's the thing my friends know about me. I'm a horrible friend. I forget birthdays, I never call and matter of fact if you don't make an effort to keep in touch with me it could be months before I even think to hit you up. Double that time if I can't hit you on IM. I just suck as a friend. I know this and they know this. I like to think it's one of my many charms lol. I'm honestly surprised I have so many friends. I have 1 friend left from high school and that's because she is so damn persistent on calling me. She calls me like once a week. Sometimes just to say she loves me and to make sure I'm ok (don't get any ideas, she's married) She understands how I am. She doesn't get upset that I never call. Everyone else just kinda faded away. I know it's my fault and I should do a better job staying in touch, but I don't care. The friend I had the above convo with I've known for like 7-8 years. I met her in college and she always calls me first that's just how I roll.

I'm especially horrible to women friends. When I first meet someone I usually hang out with them alot till I get a feel for who and what they are. Then I get bored and go find something new to do. I have a long list of female friends who I gone out on dates with. They will all tell the same story, for no apparent reason I call less, stop asking them out and fall into that "friendship" zone. It's just how I roll... lol It's not like I'm having sex with them, we were just hanging out. We had fun now its time for me to move on. I just get bored easily. Like I said.. It's in my nature.