01 August 2008

Random Conversations

I just want to say that my cookies were DELISH!!!! (that sounds real gay huh, blame Rachel Ray) damn all ya'll who had something bad to say about them. They didn't look like wheat pancakes or toddler shyt. *borrowing Diva's side eye* I'm the only one who can talk about them because they are mine... lol

Anyway.....
I had this conversation with one of my coworkers this morning.

Her: So whats for lunch today
Me: It's in my bag
Her; You bring your lunch alot
Me: yeah, if I don't cook i don't eat
Her: Your married right?
Me: nope
Her: girlfriend
Me: Nope, why does everyone assume I'm married or living with my baby momma?
Her: *giving me this look like she has 20 girlfriends she can hook me up with* well you always have you lunch, why are you single?
Me: I'm kind of a jerk
Her: Really? so your an asshole boyfriend?
Me: I've been called an asshole alot, I just laugh it off.
Her: I didn't know that about you
Me: Yep, but they always stay my friend so I can't be that bad.
Her: ok.... blah blah blah(we talked some more but it wasn't important)

So now when I see her walking around the office she calls me asshole. I say that's Mr. Asshole to you.. lol

On a serious note all my co-workers just assumed I was living with my baby momma until I told them otherwise. I have no idea what kind of horrible rumors are being spread about me in this building. Hopefully none of them involve me and the snack bar girl.. lmao ok I'ma leave her alone now.

Guess what??? I posted a blog everyday this week. This is a frist for me.

Have a great weekend!!!

31 July 2008

Random Commute Thoughts

you ever see too unattractive people together and try to guess which one thinks they "settled"?

Am I the only one who feels cheated by us not getting a Fat Boys remake with BIGGIE, Big Pun, Fat Joe and Rick Ross?

I miss Big Pun in general. Dude was nice.. "I'll put my foot so far up your ass the sweat on my knee will quench your thirst" nice dude... lol

I made some cookies last night. They looked horrible. Taste good but look horrible. they all flat and shyt. They moist but flat. I could compare them to something and make it sound nasty but I think I covered my nasty post quota yesterday.





My friend called me to tell me about her long distance relationship with some dude in France. 1 you know I don't like sitting on the phone. 2 I defintly don't want to hear about no mess like that. you have an LDR with someone 6 hours away that's cool. But FRANCE!!! that's some BS, don't waste my time with that.

I need to do some yard work this weekend. My front "garden" looks like a mini jungle.

30 July 2008

Live from the Corner... pt That girl is Poison

This blog is brought to you by BBD. You know Bell Biv DeVoe because they brought us the timeless knowledge that you should never trust a big butt and a smile.

Theres this girl that works in my building as a cashier in the snack bar. Physically she is very tempting. Light skin, big ass, friendly. but just like in nature you have to watch out for they brightly colored snaked and frogs. The color is a warning sign, they are poisonous. If this case her ass is a warning sign... lol So one day the dudes in the office were talking about her and said she just had a baby. Turns out she has 5 kids now. She can't be more than 30 years old. So then we were trying to guess how many baby daddies she has. I guessed 3 but my co-workers said 5.. lol this whole conversation was dead wrong by the way. So after deciding that she had 4 baby daddies and at least 2 of them probably work in the building we concluded that she must have the best pussy on earth that makes dudes not think straight and continue to go raw. I mean you know she fertile so you just not thinking straight. See you have to understand this chick flirts with everyone and has a tongue ring and you know what Chris Rock said about girls with tongue rings....

Ok I'm off topic, I was in the snack bar getting my breakfast one day and the dude behind me was flirting with her. Here's a snippit of the convo:

boy: you shirt kinda small that it must be your lil sisters shirt.
girl: *giggles* Naw but my daughter can fit my clothes.
another dude:I think she allergic to something because she swollen in the back
girl:*giggles* he said i was swollen...
boy: Oh those must be her jeans too because they real tight. You proboly have her drawers on too
girl: oh no I don't wear them.... I don't wear underwear.

She said some more but I had to leave the area. That was enough information for me. First I was kinda shocked that she didn't have a problem with these dudes talking to her like that. I mean she is at work. This same girl told one of my coworkers "i get around" and stuck out her tongue at him, while she was at work so i guess I shouldn't be surprised. We all have decided that she is just nasty and maybe we should just leave her alone. Did I mention the AIDS rate in the city?

29 July 2008

Back It up Tuesdays

I was talking with my lawyer the other day and I mentioned something about my old myspace blog. She went over and read it and suggested that I repost some of the stuff. So I'll repost some of my favorite posts from before I switched to blogger. I notice that I write a lil different now. On myspace I had a bunch of rants about random stuff. I think I'm more focused now. Anyway this one is from 04/02/2007:

" This blog is being brought to you by the good folks at Krispy Kreme. In particular the people at the store in Alexandria, VA off route 1. Let me set the scene, I'm out with my buddy, it's like 11pm and we really have nothing to do. She lives down the street from this Donut shack, so I stop in for a dozen. Now we had just come from eating dinner and getting some ice cream so I didn't really want donuts but I'm hardly ever by a Krispy Kreme so I could not pass up the chance. Well I get a dozen eat 1 of them and chill at the table.

So were sitting there talking about this and that when we notice a disturbing trend. Everyone that's coming in is either really skinny or like 300+ pounds. There was no middle ground. The ratio was incredible, like 5 big people to 1 skinny person. Like Its a given that if your getting donuts after 11 your overweight. Granted I'm not 300+ but my friend is on the skinny side. Plus, everyone comes in happy, as if the smell of fresh donuts is a happiness drug, but the workers look miserable, like they are sick of the donut smell. It's really like a crack house.. LOL, people coming for they fix. It's around midnight now and people are bringing they kids in for a couple dozen... I saw one family of 3 walk off with 1 dozen glazed and 1 dozen glazed. 3 people, 2 dozen... I guess the kid couldn't finish his own dozen or something. So were sitting there watching these people come in and looking at my box sitting on the table. It was really a life changing moment, I mean I AM these people. If I lived that close to a Krispy Kreme I might look like them. It was sad. The place closes at 1am so before they closed I saw a police officer come in and get 2 dozen (he fit right into the police stereotype) and then a dude comes in and says he drove from Triangle, VA just for fresh donuts. Triangle, VA is like 30 minutes away, again it's 1 in the morning. His wife was waiting in the car. People are hooked.

So needless to say my dozen is still sitting on my kitchen table, I think I'ma just throw it out, this is truly a turning point in my life. I don't think I'll be eating donuts anymore. I never should have stayed in the store, Krispy Krack is so much better if your in denial.

28 July 2008

Weekend Wrap-up

so first off.. Ya'll will be proud of me. I went to see Dark Knight all by my lonesome. It wasn't even that bad. I don't know if I'll make a habit of it but I can do it every now and then.

Here's my official review. The first batman is one of my favorite movies ever. I mean it had Jack Nicholas in his defining role as the joker. Micheal Keaton at his best. Matter of fact besides Mr. Mom I can't think of another Micheal Keaton movie. That batman movie was the best thing in his career. On top of all that it had a Prince soundtrack. Really it doesn't get any better than that. so when I heard they were bringing the joker back I was concerned. i hate when Hollywood fucks up a classic. That said this movie rocked. I love the joker and Heath Ledger played him greatly. he was darker than the Jack version but that's a good thing. Jack's version was funnier. I liked them both. Besides that the movie was LONG!!! I saw like 3 times where it could have stopped and I would have been happy. I'm happy about the new batman series, as long as Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't show back up as Mr. freeze i think they'll be ok.

Other weekend rants:
I went to the mall to see batman and as I was walking around I saw a line of about 80 people outside the Apple store. I was like wth? the store is open why are they standing outside? then I saw a Iphone 3G flyer in someones hand. They were waiting to buy a damn phone. Let me tell all you iphone owners this. the Iphone is going to be apart of the apocolypse. Apple is goign to unite everyone under the iphone banner and flip that shyt to control everyone. Mark my words the Iphone is the beginning of the end of civilization as we know it. Why does everyone NEED the same phone? that's like people all driving the same car, it just don't make any sense. It's not even the best phone out. plenty of other phones do the same shyt. And why doesn it HAVE to be on ATT? none of that sits well with me.

I was going to rant about other things but this is getting kinda long.