20 February 2009

Live from the Corner pt Don't Breathe the Air

Before I get into this entry of "Live From the Corner" let me touch on some comments from my last post. Like 800 of you asked "if that's what the kinda sorta GF gets, whats the real GF get?" That answer is simple. The exact same thing, I wasn't trying to impress her, the hotel offered to put the roses on the bed for $25. That's cheaper than a dozen roses no fool would pass that up. Trust if the hotel didn't offer for such a cheap price I would'nt have done it.

The other question was "since she just the kinda GF would I care if she went out with another dude"... Absolutely not, she a grown ass women. She can do what she wants, If she wants to date other people she's free to do so. If I'm not giving her the attention she needs she can find it where ever she wants.

OK on to the story... Now I know I mentioned my co-worker who has no problem farting at his desk. Well this dude moved his seat to sit right behind me. So now his fumes are blocked into a corner. This is causing a situation. I'm getting paranoid, wondering if every noise I hear is him letting one rip. Every smell is getting questioned.. I can't focus. This is no way to work. Plus now that he sits right behind me I can't visit all the same sites I used to. He's a nosy kinda guy and if he saw me typing out this blog or looking at youknowyoudeadazzwrong he's likely to ask questions. I don't like questions. Anyway back to the air quality. When he lets it rip at his desk he doesn't even apologize. He has apologized once when he did it at my desk. I guess that was nice of him. Maybe he thinks we can't hear him at his desk. I'd much rather he take his whole gas problem out in the hall. Here my artist rendering of the seating arrangement.



As you can see when he emits fumes they have no exit.. they bounce off the wall and linger around until they make it to the hallway. Amoung ideas to combat this problem I have thought of include hanging an car air freshener to my desk fan and wearing a gas mask.

Anyway, it's just another day in the life. I'm much rather breathe stinky air and get paid then breathe clean air in the unemployment line.

16 comments:

Darius T. Williams said...

Um, hilarious...and that drawing - even more hilarious!

Um, e-mail me (darius@everydaycookin.com) in regards to the Blogger Family Reunion that's gonna be in Chicago 5/15-5/17 2009.

blessed0805 said...

y not just say something to him.

Nettypooh said...

why not just gift his smelly behind with a can of air freshener? If there is no shame in his game of letting it rip; don't be skerred to give him a spray can of glade or that dollar store ish


or better yet, get the can for yourself and spray in the air DRAMATICALLY whenever he farts! That would be good for giggles lol

QB said...

i vote you say somethin. there use to be this kid that sat behind me at work who use to clip his finer nails at work ALL THE TIME. I mean yeah if you break your nail it's one thing but MULTIPLE TIMES A WEEK he would clip them at work. And no matter how loud i turned up the volume on my headphones i could still hear it. Finally one day i turned around and said "you need to do your personal grooming in the bathroom or at home. Every time you clip a nail i want to puke" i turned back around put my headphones back in and he never clipped is nails at his desk while i was around again. :o)

Who decided to put stinky that close to you anyway? did he just say "i wanna move" or did the powers that be move him?

Ms. Liryc said...

Is your cube mate named Mike, cause that's the name of the guy that sits behind me and does the same thing. He lets it rip but its those silent but deadly ones that linger and by the time I get a wif of the stench he has already gotten up and walked away so anyone who would come through would think that it was me. I have a fan on my side of the cube and I just put it on and have the smell stay on his side.

He might have a gas problem. I remember my cousin telling me that she had a patient who was like that, but she had a gas problem and just couldn't hold it. Get some febreeze and spray it like every hour or so and if he asks why tell him that its your ritual

Veroncia said...

I love your diagram. The sh*t is so funny. As for the smell, you need to get Yankee Candles air fresher in Clean Cotton. It will knock the smell right out. And get a fan to keep the smell over there with him.

buttahflychronicles said...

I suggest a putting a desk fan near the floor aimed in his direction. If he asks why you have it, tell it's because he farts.

Anonymous said...

That was hilarious!!!

clnmike said...

UGH!

Thats just trife!

Buy a cork an tell the dude to go to the bathroom and stuff it.

pinxpassion said...

ok see...ima have to be the one to address this because your farting co worker has overshadowed this issue. First of all, you cant go puttin flowers and ish all willy nilly in a hotel room on valentines day...thats a proposal/go half on a baby wit me type thing. Your misleading her Dave bc you know that i know that you know that she is running around tellin anyone who'll listen about her sweet her MAN is..you see, she thinks that yall "like that" now and your clearly sayin that your not. i think what you thought was a cheap valentines day extra...just confirmed that you were in a relationship...*shrugs shoulders* i dont make the rules, imjussayin.

And he is nasty. next time he farts and you hear it, yell, "Ugh! Why yo ass smell like that???"

dopelikelouboutins said...

LOL @ the farting coworker....yall should pool together a years supply of beano n sit a pill at his desk every dosage recommended hour!

phoenix said...

OMG I can't stop laughing, I did the diagram is what officially killed it for me.

I think you should get one of these http://www.airwick.us/access/html/products/product_A000230.html and set give an extra press as needed.

phoenix said...

LOL I couldn't stop laughing -- that I made a typo --- I meant to say I think it's the diagram that officially killed it for me because otherwise I'd be hung up on the grossed out factor but this made me laugh so hard.

Seriously invest in one of those airwick freshmatic things because that's no way to have to work!

Sha Boogie said...

First off..your drawing skills are questionable at best -- do not give up your day job, LOL!

And you have my deepest sympathy, I LIVE with a farter. Try breathing that shyt in while your sleeping!

MISS BEE said...

OMG yea that was piss me off, if his ass was sitting right behind me farting & shit, tell him to take his ass to the hallway or something. And I hate when Im on the internet @ work & MOFO's looking all on my screen & shit seeing what Im doing, SO ANNOYING!

RunningMom said...

I'm with Sha Boogie - thankfully the farter I live with doesn't sleep in the bed. God he stinks. lol

As for the co-worker... I vote for the Been-o

I'm so glad that I have an office. I don't have to smell anyones farts but my own... ;)