31 March 2009

Saturdays With Davey

If You haven't noticed I love my cousins, they like the little brothers I never had. I joked that they should write a book called "Saturdays With Davey" to chronicle my ramblings and how they in no way helped them thru life. You know the exact opposite of "Tuesdays with Maury"... lol Well one of them turned 21 last month and I didn't have time to toast it up with him. So saturday we decided to hit the bar, watch some basketball and shoot the shyt. We talked alot all kinds of things but mostly women. I try and tell him my stories so he has some idea of the types of women out there. hopefully he can learn from my mistakes, see the warning signs that I missed. Here is a quick rundown of some red flags I said women give that let you know you should start planning an exit strategy. He suggested I blog about it.

1. They want you to be their "superman" - If a girl expects you to be perfect you should worry. There is no way you can do right 100% of the time. Your not superman your Clark Kent. If a chick thinks your superman she doesn't see your flaws, this sounds good but it's not. We are all flawed, you want someone who knows and accepts your flaws, not someone who doesn't see them. What happens when she finally does see them? you fall way off that pedestal and become just another nigga, you become Clark. Clark never got with Lois Lane because she didn't see him as perfect as Superman.

2. They don't fight fair - Everyone has arguments. It's how you argue that counts, if every time you disagree she brings up shyt from 2 years ago or stuff from a past argument that you though was resolved, you have a problem. Better yet if she brings up the same issues even when they don't apply to the current disagreement you should start packing. Like she's mad you left some juice out and then brings up how you forgot to get corn from the store 2 weeks ago. It's a sign you will be fighting a never ending battle, she has problems moving forward and getting over stuff.

3. They can't accept your female friends - Look dudes don't fukk every woman they meet. Sometimes we don't want too and sometimes they won't let us. We do have friends who happen to be girls. Most women can accept this. If your girl cant accept that then she is insecure. As long as your honest and upfront about your friendships then she should be cool. Especially if you knew these women before you met her. Now if your sneaking around with your female friends and doing stuff that could be considered "dating" then she has reason to think twice and ask 2 million questions.

4. She calls ALL the time - I'm a firm believer that my cell phone is not a leash. Just because it rings doesn't mean I have to answer. That's what voicemail is for. Sometimes I'm busy, sometimes I just don't feel like talking. Leave a message and I'll hit you back. Some women assume if you don't answer your up to BS and insist on calling you back to back 15 times. Again this is a sign of insecurity. She has deeper control or abandonment issues that you don't wanna know about. There is also trust issues at work there, again if you have given her a reason to be worried or not trust you then you deserve to be harassed.

5. Your her world - Meaning your not only her best friend but your her ONLY friend. It's all good to be friends with your girl but when she don't have anybody else to run the streets with she will resent the fact that you do. So whenever you go out without her she will be calling, texting you. She will be mad that you have fun away from her. Your girl needs friends, she needs people to talk to about your ass. It's therapy for them, if nothing else she needs friends so she can hear other relationship stories. After a night of listening to her girlfriends cheating, unemployed, lame ass boyfriends you will look like gold.

I've experienced all of these things, some I caught early some it took a while. Hopefully it sunk in for him. Then again this the same bamma who decided that ordering a Mile High ice cream cake at the bar was a good idea. I laughed so hard when the waiter brought this shyt to him. Never have I seen dessert at the bar. It even came with 2 spoons... lol nothing says greedy bastard like eating something alone that comes with 2 spoons. It did look good though.


Darius T. Williams said...

Interesting. I say write a book. If Harvey is doing it - you can too - lol

buttahflychronicles said...

I don't agree with some of these.

How you gone criticize him for ordering the dessert in one post, and then get mad cause he didn't share in the next. Now, two dudes eating dessert from the same plate, now that's gay!

Anonymous said...

Dessert at the bar!!! LOL!! You are so funny!!! Oh and by the way just because a girl brings something up from the past doesn't necessarily mean she can't get past it. It might be your A** was lying and she just trying to get you to finally tell the truth.!!

Just Jasmine said...

I dunno man.. I'm tempted to blog a Oh really super dave in response to those but some of these are true.

I do what wonder what type of women you seem to attract though.

Anyway you're just mad you weren't secure enough to order it yourself

Kayos said...

I can't say one word on this other than Damn!

Scorned Woman said...

For the most part i'd have to say I agree with you. A woman who doesn't do at least one of the things on your list is going to be hard to find.

LMAO @ dessert at the bar.

crys said...

aha! so if my boyfriend does ALL of those things (and i do mean ALL)......does that kinda sorta make me a lesbian? hmmmmmm

Ms. Behaving said...

I wouldn't say women wanted their men to be perfect but the least y'all can do is come damn close to it!

I mean really...is it sooooooo much to ask??? LOL

Ice cream cake @ the bar??
For real??
Must be a DC thing...

And you call some of us folks bammas...Hmpff!

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@Darius - I'm still shocked by that steve harvey book.

@Hustla - I didn' want him to share the cake, I was just laughing that it came with 2 spoons.

@Anonymous - If you get caught in a lie then these flags don't apply

@Just Jasmine - Hey please do, I'm here to inspire.. lol

@Kayos - thanks!

@Scorned Woman - I'm not saying she can't do any of this. It's just stuff to watch for.

@Crys - lmao... if your dude does this then I'd say that was a red flag for you.

@Ms. Behaving - We will come close to perfect once ya'll do.. BAMMA!!!

Laur said...

planning an exit strategy..
sounds complicated.


Sha Boogie said...

LOL @ 'ur her world' -- betta make sure she don't ditch her friends for you! That spells trouble, I can agree with that. Because she will be home steaming while he's out with friends.

Opinionated Diva said...

but you're superdave...that means you're supposed to live up to your name and be her superman dammit!!

and men would fight dirty if they could remember stuff from the past...we can't help it if our memories are better

she calls ALL the time becaus she loves you and you're such a great dater...that she can't stop thinking about you.

that is why you are her world and she already has the name for your first born picked out...Celtic for a boy and Kelly (as in Kelly green) for a girl. LOL...I am so funny!

ok...i'm just having fun...ttfn

Caspar608 said...


I have several male friends and two brothers....I've heard horror stories about "dating" as follows...

How about the women who have kids from multiple partners and want you to be the next supplemental monthly "Ima buy me a gucci bag with that child support (pay)check" source of income? Real winners!

Or the cynical ones, who sit there with the screw face on when you try to talk about your interests, life, their interests, their life.

Or the ones who have a man, but the RELAYtionship is on "hiatus" because she caught him with her hairdresser at the BBQ sharing a full rack of ribs and some banana pudding?

As far as relationships are concerned....
Any woman who needs someone to be Superman doesnt live in reality. Men are as flawed as women. Men are human. Men have fears, insecurities, anxieties, concerns, worries...just like women...only women have the benefit of talking about them ALL OF THE TIME while men are expected to keep that crap to themselves lest they look like punks. Not fair really, but neither is the process of childbirth...such is life.

Anyway, I would have made the birthday boy shove his face into that birthday cake bonanza like Ralphies brother did in his plate of mashed potatoes.


Brandi said...

Thats hilarious. Some of those women are me..lol