11 March 2009

Why I'm A Bad BF

So while I think I'm a great person I know I'm a bad boyfriend. You wanna know why?

Because I'm lazy

I like things that are easy, I want everything to fall into place. Relationships rarely work like that You have to work at them, listen and care about the other persons concerns and communicate. BLAH!!! I'm great at listening but it's the caring part that I suck at. You see I have this theory that nobody really cares. You don't REALLY care if I can't pay my power bill. You might feel bad, show some concern but at the end of the day if it don't effect you, you don't care. Maybe I should narrow that down, nobody besides your momma and loved ones care. Even your loved ones is a stretch. Most your friends or co-workers will be like "Aww that's too bad" And go back to they life. I know that's how I am.

So this attitude effects my relationships. Women talk and expect me to console and say "Aww baby it will be ok" and I'm just not wired like that. I offer ways to fix whatever the problem is or just dismiss it as you being silly. BTW dismissing a womans feelings is never a good idea, yet I do it all the time.

The other problem I have is expressing feelings. See besides laughter I don't express much. If I'm mad I usually just do busy work to get my mind off it. I'm not going to be in a shouting match with you, I'd much rather walk away and clear my head. I'm not the kinda guy who pours out his heart and starts talking about how much I miss you or how your the best girl I've ever met. Usually it's because I don't miss you and your NOT the best girl I've ever met. Hell even getting a sincere compliment outta me is amazing. I know women like that stuff, it just feels stupid coming out of my mouth. Like I'm reading a script from TV. It never feels genuine so I never say it. I was always told not to say stuff you don't really mean.

Ahhh, i always have some part of my personality to work on.

12 comments:

buttahflychronicles said...

Tell her this. And, don't give complements unless you mean them. So try not to get into a relationship with someone who doesn't deserve complements every once in a while.

One Man’s Opinion said...

I kinda share this mindset, even though I am one of those people who actually care.

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

Shouldn't you date someone who you will miss and is the best girl ever or close to it?

Walking away instead of shouting is always a good idea. . .shouting leads to words being said that can't be taken back and hurt feelings/egos.

contagiouslyCRANKY said...

Soo Im guesing the new GF isnt too pleased with these traits you have. I just read this book called His Needs Her Needs.. it was good for understanding the opposite sex in a relationship.

Carolyn (cmarie12) said...

I'm wondering what you did that caused this post to happen?!

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@Hustla - tell who this? wait, this has nothing to do with my GF. Maybe I should have made that clear


@Sharon - I agree but it doesn't always happen that way. Good and best are different things.

@Cranky - The new GF is happy. At least as far as I know, she didn't spark this post.

@Carolyn - Me do something? Never!!! I was just reflecting about myself.

RunningMom said...

How'd she go from "girl I'm kinda seeing" to girlfriend? What'd I miss?

jolie fatale said...

lol@running mom..


@dave: you are a mess! but I love it...

Just Jasmine said...

Well admitting the problem is teh first step. Now what are you going to do with it. I am one of those girls taht lieks teh little things, yes tell me you miss me (IF YOU MEAN IT) when i ask how the sex was on a 1-10 be honest etc, but its also your actions that count as well. If you are emotionally stoic or unavilable and do nothing to make me feel wanted or loved then to heck withcha.

Sean Biggums said...

Im the same way cousin.. People are too wrapped up in their problems and its hard being a logical person.. its like if you have a problem THIS is how u can fix it, but they dont wanna hear that.. and its a very interesting world lol...

Jewelry Rockstar said...

You haven't met the right person. There are women who have enough male energy that they don't want be bothered with the mushy stuff.

However, not being willing to share may be signaling a bigger and deeper problem with your emotions. Oh no I said emotions... scary right.

lilioohpyt said...

at least you know what your faults are and if you choose to work on them, then you can and if you dont then you can be honest with a young lady about them