04 August 2009


So today I went to court so my baby momma could get all the money she felt she deserved. I sat in the court room for a hour. My lawyer came, asked if she was there, She wasn't, he decided to go get some food instead of sitting and charging me for waiting. He's a cool dude, I like him alot. Anyway we wait and wait and she never shows. Why open the case if you not going to show up? So the case worker says they can put in a temporary order until we can get another hearing. One she will hopefully appear for. We do the paperwork, did I mention my BM put down $75 a month as income? yeah she's career student. I pick winners I tell you. So after all is said and done I have to pay a whopping $45 more a month then I was already paying. Only now I'm pissed over the whole situation and all the nice things I used to do just because I'm a nice person will stop. When stuff went wrong at her house she would call me to take a look, if she needed to borrow something she would call me. Basicly as my GF put it she teats me like a pseudo-husband. So all that stops, I'm tired of trying to be nice to her.

Whats funny about this is just last night she called me and asked for some money in advance. How she can't get thru the month with what I pay her is beyond me but now she can talk it over with the state. Just the idea that I don't have to talk money with her makes me happy. Today is a good day the only thing missing is the look on her face when she realizes instead of the extra $400 she was expecting she will only get a extra $45. That my friends would be priceless.


The Jaded NYer said...

WHOA! She wanted an extra $400? I don't know what you already pay her but I'm sure an extra $400 is ridiculous. Who has an extra $400 just lying about these days? Especially for someone who's not working??

Ugh... that just make me so mad...

But I'm glad it worked out for the best.

Super Dave Van Buren said...

lol.. I was paying her $750 which I thought was fair. She thought otherwise. This is what happens when people think everyone is Nas.. lol

The Jaded NYer said...

WHAT?!?! I get little more than that with TWO kids. She's buggin out & needs a job ASAP!!!

Kingsmomma said...

Wow....I bet she'd appreciate that 750 if she got was I was receiving....$0


but yeah they need one of those priceless Visa Commercials for this type of Greed.

buttahflychronicles said...

Almost got back to court with BD1 at which point I'm sure I would have gotten what your BM gets. Of course you're familiar with that story and why it's all hung up. I'm sure this man makes at least $80k but wants to get his support reduced.

BM needs a come to Jesus meeting with Jesus himself.

True2me said...

wow..i didnt even take my ex husband to court for child support..im not goin to MAKE him do something he should automatically do....(he does take care of them to a certain extent)

WOW..kudos to you for taking care of yours..and Im glad you got the better end of the stick this time (so to speak)

Insatiable One said...

W.T.F.?! Seriously Dave, your BM pisses me off. Now granted I hate to use the term BM as much as possible but still. She is on some shady shit. Sigh. I'm not going to go all soapbox--y on you. Just glad the court thing is done and its cool.

Tiffany Nicole said...

What a mess! She gives a whole new definition to greed. Glad it all worked out for ya!

KnitFloozy said...

Wow....she is skr8 up yes I said skr8 up trifling! And you fixed up stuff around the house! Man you're a good one. I am proud of you for taking care of your child and paying your child support. Glad it worked out for you in court today

xxxx said...

wow she bugging 750 is perfectly fine.. i wouldnt even agree to give her 45 more than that.. she need to get a job and be done with being a professional student.. people like her make other females look bad

Caspar608 said...

like whoa.

goes to show you her ass wasnt spending all the dough on the baby.

and she doesnt work.

let me break it down to you.

I have a Full Time Job. I am a Full Time Student. I have three BIG kids (16, 13, 9). I handle my biz, do not get any support (never did). My kids look good and eat good. I own my car, my crib. If my BD doesnt feel inclined to give (for whatever the circumstances) I'm not going to drag him into court to make him. WHile I understand there are millions of folks out there who depend upon child support to live (my Mom was one of them when she raised my little brother) I, personally, have made it so that I am NEVER beholden to any man for money. Call it pride, perhaps its even a deeper love. But I refuse to sit around and wait for the State to extract money from a man to do for my children when I can do it myself.


Ieisha said...

Although I've been seriously considering corporate law in tax or finance, reading this has me reconsidering family law. I can't STAND triflin' ass baby mamas.....ugh. And Maryland is on that status for paying that much but I know the story well. Mister has a 9-year old and his BM took him thru that. He was paying about what you pay. Basing it on your income....her ass needs to be shot trying to live off child support.

I am so happy she got only $45 extra dollars. When Mister's BM took him back to court cuz she's a triflin' mess, his got cut in HALF!!!!!

Congrats to you...have a Heineken or Corona tonight. You deserve it.

buttahflychronicles said...

Okay I gotta post another comment on behalf of all the BMs out there. I love Dave, he know I do. But, I'm just remembering when I first got child support for my son. His dad has always been the king of ass holes. He was never as nice as Dave claims he is to his BM. That's right I said claims he is. I have no reason to disbelieve Dave but I do remember my BD had everyone thinking that I was a trifling BM because he had to pay. His friends have never heard "my side" and I'm sure Dave's BM gotta a side too. Even though her not having a job is just a fact that seems trifling, I feel like there has to be more behind it. After all, Dave doesn't seem like the type to just lay down with any body.

Super Dave Van Buren said...

Hey Nikki, your right. My BM does have her own side to this. I'm not upset about paying, I've been paying since my daughter was 14 months. My issue is asking me for more instead of going to get a job. I'm upset that my money goes to support her and not my daughter.

Caspar608 said...

I have two sons Dave.

One of them has groupies dangling from his nuts online ALL DAY. I can only imagine how insane it will be once his band is signed.

With that being said...I have already spoken to both of my sons about not falling for the tricks of pigeons who would love nothing more than to breed so they can be perpetual college students or no job having shopping addicts hooked on drama as well. Like I said, I never depended upon child support and made sure I was never in a position to depend upon child support. I expect my children to follow my lead and be good parents, productive human beings who operate in good conscience.

The only issue between me and my BD was his selfishness. #1 needs band equiptment? I got that. #2 needs eyeglasses and a new skateboard? I got that. #4 needed her hair and nails done, new shoes, new coats. I got that. I got it all for them. Why? Because thats what I am SUPPOSED to do. I gave birth to my children, its my job to protect and provide if nobody else wants to. All I expected him to do was love the children enough to put their needs ahead of his own. Instead, my BD spent what little money he had on common pigeons and back a da club lushes. Then he broke out for 3.5 years because I broke crazy on him for going into my account and helping himself to my dinero.

Bear in mind, the system is set up to keep black men enslaved. The sytem was designed to keep black men from their children. Look at the statistics. Look at the crime rates. Look at the homicide rates. You think it would be that way if black fathers were more present in the lives of their children? You think it would be that way if some women didnt use their children as a source of income - either from the stupid men who bust in them or the state that cuts the welfare checks? Honestly. Think about it. People play into that game without conscience because they got to get. Its really bewildering to me how this whole cycle is being perpetuated. You won't find me in any courtroom begging the State of Wherever to extract money from a rock. Now then, not now, not ever.

Yes, the same issues are prevalent in the "white" community. And really, all this baby momma baby daddy drama is getting tired and played out. We all need to do what we are supposed to do to make the world a better place for our children. Stop f--king bickering, stop thinking about that new bag, new pair of shoes, new part for your car and focus on the CHILDREN.

You think the baby cares about $750plus $45? The baby cares about Daddy and Mommy. In all this fighting over money, worrying about who gets what and how much...that energy can be used on raising the children. Not to be confused with spending on the children.


True2me said...

in what way is the money going to support HER and not your CHILD

Stuff costs money, clothes, food, electric, toys, shoes, television to watch, heat, electricity..ALL THAT

sure she should have a job..but why do men assume the money goes straight to the moms new seven jeans?

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@true2me - I say that because I buy most my daughters clothes and shoes. She has a ton of toys at my house. I pay for television, heat and electricity to at my house just like she does at hers, only nobody gives me money for it. Those are not child expenses those are home expenses. My BM asks for money to buy tires for her car, granted she drives our daughter around but so do I. That's what owning a car entails. even without a child you still have them same bills. In the end I pay for all the same household stuff she does AND I buy the supplies our daughter needs to live. It's not like my daughter is never with me. It's just my opinion that the money should go to the benefit of my daughter, not so her mom can avoid working and pay her cell phone bill. Case in point, my daughters flip flops just broke, guess who has to replace them??? yup ME. shouldn't that come out of the CS money?

buttahflychronicles said...

Dave, this how me and BD1 do it. It wasn't always like this, we had to learn. My kids have to wear uniforms, therefore, on the weekends, I let them wear what they want unless they are with me. Me and BD1 have different standards about what is acceptable. And, whenever Ishmael's nice clothes went to BD1's house they would never make it back. After while, Ishmael started going between our houses empty handed. BD1 buys and keeps what he wants him to wear and I buy and keep what I want him to wear. I think he's too old now to be going around with his hair not tight so I take him to regular barber appts (well an then there's that other reason, lol). But his dad doesn't have this same standard. His dad buys him a Nintendo DS and won't let him bring it to my house. I buy him a PSP and say, boy you have to take care of it, if something happens oh well. Never, and I mean never is it okay for either of us to contact the other and request that they buy this or that. That's what the child support covers and that is it.

Furthermore it is not begging a man to take care of his child by having it documented somewhere how much he owes me. I probably won't get anything from BD2 until our daughter is married and makes me a grandmother. But he will never be able to have any assets legally in his name without having a reminder of how much he didn't pay. I do pay all her expenses and am happy to do so. But damnit my daycare bill this month is $900 and it will be paid by me. I didn't make this baby by myself. I own all my shit too, but if I got to stress over these bills, so should he.

Caspar608 said...

There is no disputing you are a good Dad. I've been saying that since day one.

So you bought the baby new flip flops. Thats what you are supposed to do. You see the baby needs something, you got the ends, you take care of baby. You second guess yourself because BM is a lazy, needy, good for using her status as a crutch to maintain her "lifestyle" type broad thats seems to not have been told that real women can pay their own way with or without a man. I am not asking anyone for new tires, the light bill, my cell bill NADA. I have too much self love to go the route of a leech. If you aren't my husband and/or we arent under the same roof then you dont have to take care of me. And if you dont have it in you to pay their tuition, their daycare, their food, their drink, their shoes, their shirts, their extracurriculars then you do not have to take care of mine. If a man doesnt know he is supposed to, I refuse to subject my children to a constant tug of war of "ask Daddy" "tell Daddy" etc. Its bullshit. I gave birth to my children. I ultimately gave them life when I carried my pregnancies full term - as opposed to terminating/aborting in order to make both of our lives (BD and me) easier. He doesnt want to provide, I am not going to go through the motions that would bring "regret" into the equation as far as the existence of my children is concerned.

Eventually, Old Boy is going to have to deal with himself and his decisions. I feel good about myself 95% or the time. The other 5%, when I feel crumby, is reserved for PMS or right after I have to bust verbal caps in people for getting on my nerves.

Dave, keep loving your daughter. Perhaps you should petition for custody if the matter really bothers you. BM is JOBLESS. You can provide the baby with a better life.

Full time fatherhood is the next big thing, from what I hear.

Peace, Cas

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Creative1k said...

I agree to agree with the folks like me who receive NADA and thinks she should be grateful for the $750. Man what I could do for my son with an extra $750 as well as having someone willing to help in case I needed something done around the house. Maybe we should switch BDs and give her a lesson of gratefulness.

DC Debutante said...

Man this is funny. I am so glad I dont have children. They are great and wonderful but too much hassel with people who will flip the script on you.