23 November 2009

Dave's guide to getting over your Ex

Last night I was on the phone with my friend for over a hour. She was asking my advice on her now broken relationship. Now If you know me you would know that I HATE sitting on the phone. I'll text or IM in a minute. Since i've known her over 10 years so I gave her a phone pass... lol. Never mind that we already discussed it over drinks a couple weeks ago, nevermind this is like week 3 or 4 after the breakup. I have a 2 week cap on being heartbroke, after that let your A.D.D kick in and move on. It was time for tough love. Anyway it dawned on me that she had no idea how to get over that bamma. So here is my full proof guide to getting over your ex. These are all things that I advised her too do and I have done myself. It's proven effective!

1 - The most full proof method to get over someone is to replace them. Replace them with someone new or your friends. This is the where the whole "rebound" term comes from. The idea is you will be too busy with this new person that you will forget about your ex. In the end it doesn't matter who it is just as long as it's not Jose Cuervo or Jack Daniels keeping you company.

2 - Stop cyberstalking. No really why do you want a reminder about how you failed? You don't need to remove them from your online life just make them less visible. Blocking someone is just petty, unless of course they slept with your brother or sister. Its just dumb to be checking up on them via social networking sites. Give them some space, So if they are always on facebook don't sign in for a month or so. Don't worry nobody will miss you and you will not miss anything. If they are on twitter unfollow they ass. You IM them? Make them invisible. Whatever you have to do to not be reminded of them on a daily basis do it. Your Ex is going to do whatever they want whether your looking or not. Your just hurting yourself by being obsessed with their moves. Get offline and get back to real life. Which brings me too...

3 - Remember your old life. Before you were with your new ex you had fun. You did stuff, try and remember what that was and do it again. Life is not over and you will meet someone else, trust me. Life moves on, Stop wondering when they will call because odds are they wont. I'm willing to bet that at least 4 people were waiting for you to be single again. Only your going to miss them because your too focused on waiting for your ex. So yeah get back to your life, you were a great person that's why someone wanted you, even if they don't anymore there is someone else who does.

4 Remember that everyone fails. Jordan didn't hit everyshot, Allen Iverson couldn't crack the starting line up on the Grizzlies, hell even the Lakers lost to the Celtics! Point is everything is not going to be a success. Don't get down over it. Learn your lesson and move on. Everyone has been there, you are not alone and it happens to the best of us. Just because you lost one doesn't mean you are a loser.

5. Last but not least... Don't be mad. If you have some anger about your ex just let it go. Treat your exes like old jobs, Never speak bad on them. It's bad karma and honestly nobody wins. You come off as bitter. Nobody wants to hear you bad mouth your ex. Master some key phrases.. "we're just different people" "we're not compatible" "We grew apart" stuff like that. it may be a complete lie but at least you won't come off as a bitter person. They place no blame.

Stay thirsty my friends... lol

13 comments:

Opinionated Diva said...

LOL ... Dos Equis - I once had an awkward moment just to see how it felt! I luv those commercials.

Anywho...

#1 I prefer to deal and heal alone before replacing someone, BUT I must admit having someone new definitely kept me preoccupied enough so I focused less on the break up and more on the new attention. AND I lil Jose and Jack with the homies as we male bash is a must! lol

Tiffany Nicole said...

Nice list! Where were you say ummm a year ago?? Anywoo...eveybody needs that one person to speak the truth and put ligh to the truth.

I especially like the one about refraining from speaking ill words about the ex. First I think it takes a very mature mind to do such a thing and the second, negativity is a magnet for all things death related.

Kudos for you Dave!

Ieisha said...

I have tried a couple of these in the past and it does work. Once again, SuperDave has done it again!!

Sure you aren't gonna charge for the relationship advice? I'll put my check in the mail to you....for $12.64 exactly! Lol.

As for the cyberstalking....that'll be the death of folks especially with the Twitter and FB introductions. I delete you as a contact completely to prevent you from coming up on my radar. Once enough time has passed and we've decided to remain friends (I know you know nothing about that, lol), I may be able to add you in somewhere.

Great advice as usual!!

Anonymous said...

Good tips Dave!!! Especially the one about finding someone new to hang out with, it works!! Why spend time sulking over someone who wasn't for you.

SSL said...

This post is right on time! In the words of Rev. T.D. Jakes, "Some people enter our lives for season or a reason".

Kingsmomma said...

I feel like you were thinking of me when you were typing the following "hell even the Lakers lost to the Celtics!"

i had all this great stuff to say but Eff it, after that comment you're on time out

Caspar608 said...

this is why I dont get involved with anyone other than my kids.

the drama is not worth it, neither is the heartache.

Ms. Insatiable said...

And this list of foolproof?! LOL I kid.

Good shit but um, you know some of us women need a few weeks to get over a break. Not all of us, but some do.

Ms. T said...

Very good and true advice!

BreBre said...

I really need to take this advice

Anonymous said...

This is good advice but not all of it really works.

Anonymous said...

True shit and helpful!! It will work out in the end. And you only live once. Even if it is the father of your kids why waste your time being unhappy or trying to turn them into the right person for you when they aren't going to be.And I love not speaking bad about them. As soon as you let go of the anger and bitterness you can move on and give someone better the chance to come into your life instead of overlooking it because your scorned. You still want the best for them even though it hurts that its not with. Good luck to everyone!! I know personally how hard it is but you aren't alone. The kids are the main focus and we have to make good choices for them.

my life is a journey said...

Thanx needed this..its been over a year with my son father and my ass think about him here and there... at this point he has totally moved on by his actions... even if he would said lets get back together..as much as i would have want to i cant..so saying no is the hardest part.