29 November 2009

Well Hello 30....


Today is my 30th birthday. Well not actually today since as usual I'm typing this in advance. Everyone is asking me what I'm doing to celebrate and honestly I don't want to do anything. I'm more then happy sitting in the house with my baby and watching spoungebob.

One thing this birthday helped me realize is just how many friends I do have. Seems like everyone offered to take me out or buy me a drink. I've been turning folks down for the past 2 weeks. Its a great blessing to know so many people care about me. I often think I don't have alot of friends but I know that's not the case. My brother's b-day was on friday, he had to work which sucked. I asked him what he was doing to celebrate his 30th, he said nothing... His wife didn't even make him breakfast. We laugh and joke about it but I know it kinda depressed him. Me and him used to celebrate together, before life got in the way. We used to be so much alike.... Now he misses the past and I'm looking forward to the future.

My mom found a bunch of old pictures of the family and I couldn't stop looking at the ones of me and my dad. You could tell we loved each other. I have no idea what happened but I know I don't remember any of that, I'm sure he does. I'm sure part of him feels bad about missing out on my life. Everytime I talk to him it seems like he is nervous, like he doesn't know what too say. I can understand though, we went so long between speaking. It's like I left a boy and came back a man. He doesn't really know me anymore, He knows that little boy from the pics. Since he lives on the other coast we never really get a chance to bond. He never got to see my grow.

Anyway for my birthday all I want is my baby. No parties, no out of town trips. I'm just looking forward to some peace with my baby momma, I just want to raise my daughter and give her a better life then I had. I just want to be a dad, I don't want to miss any of it. Some of my happiest days involve playing with her. I just want to enjoy watching her grow without all the conflict.

As you can see getting old have made me reflective.... lol I'm not sure what my future holds but I know 30 is not going to be as bad as I thought. I have a great family and plenty of great friends who love me despite my many quirks.

Oddly enough this is my 300th post.

btw... There is no excuse for my outfit in that pic, my momma obviously didn't believe in matching or lotion... lol

17 comments:

Caspar608 said...

Oh Em Geeeeee.

You were adorable!!! Who cares how you were dressed and that your little knees were ashy!!! You were at the playground. Duh!

Happy Birthday David. I hope you get everything you want and that your little girl continues to bring you so much joy that what you missed will no longer matter...because what you have is a little piece of heaven in your daughters face.

As for your Dad...maybe you need to invite him over to our coast...and take him fishing ; )

Love, Peace and Lots of Grease (for them knees!!!)
Cas

Carolyn (cmarie12) said...

Happy Birtday Dave! I hope that you have just the day you envisioned...and may this year bring you much love, joy, happiness and the much desired and sought after PEACE!

brran1 said...

Happy Birthday Dave!

Dopelikelouboutins said...

Lowkey birthdays are kinda the best ones, where u just chill at the crib with yourself or loved ones and relax sometimes.

I think its awesome how you speak of your daughter and how much she means to you it's a breath of fresh air when the image of black fathers is so tainted in the media and in real life as well :-)

oh yea HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVIE POO

KnitFloozy said...

Happy Birthday Dave!

Kingsmomma said...

well well happy birthday to ya!

Ieisha said...

So glad you gave the disclaimer on your hook-up in the pic.....hilarious.

Although, I didn't notice your ashy knees until you said something. I was too busy trying to figure out why you were wearing shorts & a winter jacket. Tee-hee!!

I hope you got exactly what you wanted for your birthday.

Happy New Year!!!

What's Her Name said...

I'm willing to bet that you dressed YOURSELF in that pic and neglected to put on lotion, so don't be tryin ta blame moms. So, you learn alot about people after a while. You have a brother the exact same age as you? Did I get that right?

In my 30s I feel like I have a heightened sense of awareness that's supported by my experience. I don't just think I'm grown and know everything, I AM grown and I know a lil sumthin sumthin.

We'll be sure to sing you happy b-day before eating your cupcakes by the way, lol.

What's Her name said...

I'm willing to bet that you dressed YOURSELF in that pic and neglected to put on lotion, so don't be tryin ta blame moms. So, you learn alot about people after a while. You have a brother the exact same age as you? Did I get that right?

In my 30s I feel like I have a heightened sense of awareness that's supported by my experience. I don't just think I'm grown and know everything, I AM grown and I know a lil sumthin sumthin.

We'll be sure to sing you happy b-day before eating your cupcakes by the way, lol.

Ms. Insatiable said...

Happy Birthday love! Enjoy it!

And you know your baby makes those same faces as you. LOL

contagiouslyCRANKY said...

Happy Birthday Sweetz!!! Do it BIG!

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

Happy Birthday!!!

I love that pic. With your knock knees. LOL

Ms. Behaving said...

What a great pic!!! LOL --- HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE!!!!!

Opinionated Diva said...

I already wished you a happy born day, but wanted to tell you that pic is HILARIOUS!!!! lolololololol!! luv the expression on your face.

The Jaded NYer said...

Happy birthday, hon, and many more!!

Cyn said...

Happy 30th! Hope you enjoyed it!

FreedomFreed said...

HAPPY BELATED 30TH BIRTHDAY!!