29 November 2009
Well Hello 30....
Today is my 30th birthday. Well not actually today since as usual I'm typing this in advance. Everyone is asking me what I'm doing to celebrate and honestly I don't want to do anything. I'm more then happy sitting in the house with my baby and watching spoungebob.
One thing this birthday helped me realize is just how many friends I do have. Seems like everyone offered to take me out or buy me a drink. I've been turning folks down for the past 2 weeks. Its a great blessing to know so many people care about me. I often think I don't have alot of friends but I know that's not the case. My brother's b-day was on friday, he had to work which sucked. I asked him what he was doing to celebrate his 30th, he said nothing... His wife didn't even make him breakfast. We laugh and joke about it but I know it kinda depressed him. Me and him used to celebrate together, before life got in the way. We used to be so much alike.... Now he misses the past and I'm looking forward to the future.
My mom found a bunch of old pictures of the family and I couldn't stop looking at the ones of me and my dad. You could tell we loved each other. I have no idea what happened but I know I don't remember any of that, I'm sure he does. I'm sure part of him feels bad about missing out on my life. Everytime I talk to him it seems like he is nervous, like he doesn't know what too say. I can understand though, we went so long between speaking. It's like I left a boy and came back a man. He doesn't really know me anymore, He knows that little boy from the pics. Since he lives on the other coast we never really get a chance to bond. He never got to see my grow.
Anyway for my birthday all I want is my baby. No parties, no out of town trips. I'm just looking forward to some peace with my baby momma, I just want to raise my daughter and give her a better life then I had. I just want to be a dad, I don't want to miss any of it. Some of my happiest days involve playing with her. I just want to enjoy watching her grow without all the conflict.
As you can see getting old have made me reflective.... lol I'm not sure what my future holds but I know 30 is not going to be as bad as I thought. I have a great family and plenty of great friends who love me despite my many quirks.
Oddly enough this is my 300th post.
btw... There is no excuse for my outfit in that pic, my momma obviously didn't believe in matching or lotion... lol
As Told By Dave Van Buren