26 December 2009

Holiday Hustle

This is a random story post. And it covers 2 days. So put your snuggie on and enjoy...

It started on Wedensday, I had just left dinner with my friend (Nandos in chinatown is great btw) and I was near the metro station. This dude walked up on me and our convo went something like this:

Dude: *handing me a cd* whats up dude this is my album, I'm getting indicted out of barry farms

*note barry farms is a hood in DC, one of the more notorious ones

Me: *laughing* oh for real?

Dude: That's not funny man, I got interviewed about it yesterday.
Me: Man it's only funny because you said it like a sales pitch
Dude: I'd appreciate anything you can give me
Me: I don't have any cash
Dude: there is a ATM over there you can get $10 out of there...
Me: Yeah I'm not going to the ATM for this
Dude: That's real petty man, your never going to get your blessings like that
Me: *walking away* that's cool

Mind you dude never even told me his name or what kind of music it was. I can only assume it was rap since he was getting indicted lmao.

Fast forward to the next day, christmas eve. Me and my buddy are in chinatown doing some last minute christmas shopping. We walk out the store and BAM there is dude again. He stops me again and our convo went something like this:

Dude: Ayyyee man, I saw you before
Me: Yeah I saw you last night
Dude: You see I'm not out here playing, can you help me out today?
Me: Aight man I got you
*I proceed to get my money out my pocket*
Dude: Man that 10 looks good
Me: Yeah it sure does, Ima give you 2
Dude: come on man?
Me: Man my baby needs gifts
Dude: come on man I got rent to pay every month...
Me: Me too!! what you think I don't live anywhere?
Dude: aight man, well can you just get me this time and I'll hit you with a CD later?
Me: That's cool *hands him the $2*
Dude: Thanks man *puts out hand to give me dap*
Me: *gives him dap* Good luck on the indictment man
Dude: I don't like that man, I don't like that at all
Me: *laughing again* What man, I'm serious good luck
Dude: Both Malcom X and Martin Luther King went to jail man

At that point I turn and walk away, I was done with dude. I don't know what he was being indicted for but I'm sure it wasn't anything like what MLK got arrested for. Plus he didn't even want to give me his album! not that I wanted to hear it but still... I told my friend about the dude before we went to chinatown, I always think when I tell people random stories they don't believe me. I told her how I laughed at him and he didn't like it. After seeing the
dude her main comment was "you must have left a lasting impression on him. You really did laugh in his face"

The moral to this story is 1. remember to laugh, funny stuff happens all the time. 2. have witnesses, When I tell people this story for years to come I have someone who can verify that it actually happened lol


Opinionated Diva said...

smh...you are waaaaaaaaay too nice!

and still lmao @ him tellin you, you're blocking your blessing bcuz you want go to an atm to buy his friggin cd...knee grows!

RealHustla said...

Something similar happened to me while i was sitting at the kid siZed dining tables in the mall. I wasn't going to the ATM for that mess. Dude try to claim his demo costa $3k a song or $30k total.

EmberRose said...

what. the. fuck.


That was a sorry ass sales pitch. And that's a whack ass fool. Good gravy.

12kyle said...

I give you mad props, fam. I would have sounded like Fred Sanford...

Mannn, u betta git away from me. Jive turkey!


I never give money. I just don't. I know you'll be blessed for giving up the $2 that you gave up, tho.