02 December 2009

Unsaid Things

The other day I was chillin with my buddy talking about random things when she said:

"I can make you happy"

It was a interesting moment, I was actually speechless. I don't think anyone has said that to me so directly before. My first thought was "She didn't mean to say that" then I thought "wow, maybe she IS drunk" lol. I had no witty comeback and all I could muster was "you have to be happy before you can make someone else happy" Yeah lame I know. I was trying to bob and weave.

So anyway that got me to thinking.... what's wrong with me? A beautiful 25 y/o with no kids and a neon bright future wants to make me happy and I don't want to let her. I mean it's not like I'm not happy, I'm feel great. Seriously who passes this stuff up?

This wasn't the first time, I seem to meet the greatest women. Women who would be great wives and mothers. Women who would be good for me. We meet and hit it off, I love hanging out with them and they love hanging with me but I just refuse to actually date them. Why? idk, I always make up silly reasons. Maybe I am scared of commitment, maybe they just aren't the ones for me. Maybe I know if I date them at some point I will have to marry them, I wont have a reason not too. When me and the ex broke up I think part of me was relieved, I wouldn't have to actually buy a ring. Not that she wouldn't have deserved it but I don't know if I could have actually done it. For all my talk of getting married I'm not so sure I'm actually ready to take the plunge. It's way outside my comfort zone.

lol.. I don't have any real conclusion to this post. My words are failing me all of the sudden. Moments like this I feel real dysfunctional, like I missed some important life lesson.

15 comments:

12kyle said...

I don't think you're ready for all of that. And that's cool. You gotta respect someone who is smart enough to realize that they aren't ready. That's much better than knowing that you aint ready...and jumping into something that you KNOW aint good for you.

LenaBean said...

At least you acknowledged that you're not ready for that, even if the opportunity presented itself. Nothing worse than going along with the charade knowing you're not really into it.

Anonymous said...

When the right one comes along you will know it. You wont be able to resist it. Take your time and dont rush or feel pressured to marry or date for that matter. It's good that you realize what you are and are not ready. When the time is right everything will fall into place!!

Kingsmomma said...

we often disguise our true feelings in uncertain possibilities aka the maybes.
When you say maybe i have a fear of commitment, it generally means i'm pretty sure I have a fear of commitment.

You have a lifetime to experience. Allow the experiences to come to you. Some you'll be ready for, others you wont. Just don't let your apprehensions close the door of some wonderful opportunity.


P.S. how lame was that response. LMFAO. I mean i'm conjuring up an image of you two sitting on some bleachers in an empty park and you two are talking and she says that and then there's silence and then you jump in with that LAME line. WTF DAVE. she probably has something for you and it took her forever to muster up teh courage and you shot her down like a bald eagle.

Caspar608 said...

Considering the horror show that is your Babies Mama, I think it would be safe to say you are a bit apprehensive when contemplating a serious commitment. You already have a serious commitment...the baby.

With that being said, I applaude you for knowing that NO ONE can MAKE you happy. You have to be happy with yourself. And I think thats the case here...while her ego may have been bruised by your rebuttal, if she is a happy person she'll be fine : )

You are still growing and learning.
You still get the blues every now and then because you wanted the baby to have a perfect life, and because her Mama has a few screws loose, you feel like you've disappointed her somehow...maybe you think you've also disappointed yourself?

Its OK Dave. You don't have to take everything handed to you on a silver platter. Sometimes, what seems like a blessing turns out to be a curse. The right one will come along at the right time...

Ms. Insatiable said...

I think that response was so jacked up. LOL I'm sure that's not what she wanted to hear but you were nervous.

Maybe you run from commitment because you love the idea of it but not the act of it. You're scared and not willing to let go of the security of what you know. I think you're trying to force something on yourself that isn't ready for you yet. And not to sound like a party pooper, but maybe its just not meant for you. *kanyeshrug* But I'm a romantic so I'm hoping to get a wedding invite in the mail within the next few years. LOL

Ms. Behaving said...

Dude...she must have been crushed...

It's hard enough as it is for some woman to put her feelings out there but to have em' brushed off has got to be the worst.

Real Hustla said...

You have some VERY intellegent readers, lol. I enjoyed reading each one of these comments.

Caspar has a good point, but I think you could really be missing out on something great by letting this lurking apprehension make decisions for you.

Yes you'll know when she's right, but you've probably passed up a whole bunch of right women so far for fear of making a mistake. Marraige is HARD work regardless.

Just think what the baby is missing out on because you're afraid of making the wrong choice.

♥PrettyPacino♥ said...

Since you're going through this with "great women", maybe this does mean you a) have a fear of commitment and b) think highly enough of these women to not try to become involved with them knowing you aren't fully ready...

I think it's a good thing. I'm sure it's horrible to pour out your feelings to someone and become involved with them, only to find out that the feelings aren't (and were never) reciprocated.

The Jaded NYer said...

If that was your gut reaction to what she said go with it. Instincts never lie. You're probably not ready so why give her false hopes?

Besides, if someone says to me, "I can make you happy" my first thought would be, "But what about you? Who's gonna make YOU happy?"

*hops off soapbox*

Young woman on a journey said...

i'm with ms. behaving. damn, her feelings must have been so hurt. i know how that feels. yikes!

the said, i think you are upstanding not to lead her on. and i think that this rejection could have had something to do with one or all of the reasons you stated above. its okay not to be ready and its also okay for the person to not be the one. either way, when its meant to happen it will and you'll know cause you won't have to force it, and relief would not be the emotion you'll feel at the thought of it being over!

:-). um...we need to schedule the young woman, super dave, coca cola reunion!

Demon Hunter said...

Cas said it best, Dave. :-D Also, maybe someday you'll feel like you deserve a good woman and then you'll differently about accepting the right invitation for you. ;-)

CocaColaCutie said...

LMAO @ the JadedNYer "Besides, if someone says to me, "I can make you happy" my first thought would be, "But what about you? Who's gonna make YOU happy?"

Seriously though, I think you'll know when you find the right one. You won't be able to be scared anymore. You can do it. You can buy the ring. :)

sunnydelyte21 said...

Maybe your like my ex, he felt as though he didn't deserve a woman like me. So he did his best to push me away. Idk. Just thought.

Also, when you find that person who will truly making you happy you would have no problem buying a ring.

FreedomFreed said...

Davey I think we all all over think sometimes. I am learning that I have to live in the Now. Tomorrow is not promised to none of us. Love the people who love you in the Now and let tomorrow take care of itself. Stop putting added pressure on yourself and Live this Life journey as it is supposed to be by Enjoying One day at a Time and not taking people or things for granted. No one is saying that you have to marry, but at the end of Life you do want to know that you Lived! And danced instead of sitting it out!

So I hope you Dance with life dear friend.