The other day I was chillin with my buddy talking about random things when she said:
"I can make you happy"
It was a interesting moment, I was actually speechless. I don't think anyone has said that to me so directly before. My first thought was "She didn't mean to say that" then I thought "wow, maybe she IS drunk" lol. I had no witty comeback and all I could muster was "you have to be happy before you can make someone else happy" Yeah lame I know. I was trying to bob and weave.
So anyway that got me to thinking.... what's wrong with me? A beautiful 25 y/o with no kids and a neon bright future wants to make me happy and I don't want to let her. I mean it's not like I'm not happy, I'm feel great. Seriously who passes this stuff up?
This wasn't the first time, I seem to meet the greatest women. Women who would be great wives and mothers. Women who would be good for me. We meet and hit it off, I love hanging out with them and they love hanging with me but I just refuse to actually date them. Why? idk, I always make up silly reasons. Maybe I am scared of commitment, maybe they just aren't the ones for me. Maybe I know if I date them at some point I will have to marry them, I wont have a reason not too. When me and the ex broke up I think part of me was relieved, I wouldn't have to actually buy a ring. Not that she wouldn't have deserved it but I don't know if I could have actually done it. For all my talk of getting married I'm not so sure I'm actually ready to take the plunge. It's way outside my comfort zone.
lol.. I don't have any real conclusion to this post. My words are failing me all of the sudden. Moments like this I feel real dysfunctional, like I missed some important life lesson.