31 March 2009

Saturdays With Davey

If You haven't noticed I love my cousins, they like the little brothers I never had. I joked that they should write a book called "Saturdays With Davey" to chronicle my ramblings and how they in no way helped them thru life. You know the exact opposite of "Tuesdays with Maury"... lol Well one of them turned 21 last month and I didn't have time to toast it up with him. So saturday we decided to hit the bar, watch some basketball and shoot the shyt. We talked alot all kinds of things but mostly women. I try and tell him my stories so he has some idea of the types of women out there. hopefully he can learn from my mistakes, see the warning signs that I missed. Here is a quick rundown of some red flags I said women give that let you know you should start planning an exit strategy. He suggested I blog about it.

1. They want you to be their "superman" - If a girl expects you to be perfect you should worry. There is no way you can do right 100% of the time. Your not superman your Clark Kent. If a chick thinks your superman she doesn't see your flaws, this sounds good but it's not. We are all flawed, you want someone who knows and accepts your flaws, not someone who doesn't see them. What happens when she finally does see them? you fall way off that pedestal and become just another nigga, you become Clark. Clark never got with Lois Lane because she didn't see him as perfect as Superman.

2. They don't fight fair - Everyone has arguments. It's how you argue that counts, if every time you disagree she brings up shyt from 2 years ago or stuff from a past argument that you though was resolved, you have a problem. Better yet if she brings up the same issues even when they don't apply to the current disagreement you should start packing. Like she's mad you left some juice out and then brings up how you forgot to get corn from the store 2 weeks ago. It's a sign you will be fighting a never ending battle, she has problems moving forward and getting over stuff.

3. They can't accept your female friends - Look dudes don't fukk every woman they meet. Sometimes we don't want too and sometimes they won't let us. We do have friends who happen to be girls. Most women can accept this. If your girl cant accept that then she is insecure. As long as your honest and upfront about your friendships then she should be cool. Especially if you knew these women before you met her. Now if your sneaking around with your female friends and doing stuff that could be considered "dating" then she has reason to think twice and ask 2 million questions.

4. She calls ALL the time - I'm a firm believer that my cell phone is not a leash. Just because it rings doesn't mean I have to answer. That's what voicemail is for. Sometimes I'm busy, sometimes I just don't feel like talking. Leave a message and I'll hit you back. Some women assume if you don't answer your up to BS and insist on calling you back to back 15 times. Again this is a sign of insecurity. She has deeper control or abandonment issues that you don't wanna know about. There is also trust issues at work there, again if you have given her a reason to be worried or not trust you then you deserve to be harassed.

5. Your her world - Meaning your not only her best friend but your her ONLY friend. It's all good to be friends with your girl but when she don't have anybody else to run the streets with she will resent the fact that you do. So whenever you go out without her she will be calling, texting you. She will be mad that you have fun away from her. Your girl needs friends, she needs people to talk to about your ass. It's therapy for them, if nothing else she needs friends so she can hear other relationship stories. After a night of listening to her girlfriends cheating, unemployed, lame ass boyfriends you will look like gold.

I've experienced all of these things, some I caught early some it took a while. Hopefully it sunk in for him. Then again this the same bamma who decided that ordering a Mile High ice cream cake at the bar was a good idea. I laughed so hard when the waiter brought this shyt to him. Never have I seen dessert at the bar. It even came with 2 spoons... lol nothing says greedy bastard like eating something alone that comes with 2 spoons. It did look good though.

30 March 2009

Weekend Wrap-up

I actually did alot this weekend. Lets see friday night I went to this spot down on H st. Now H st used to be the hood, but they are trying to renovate the area so you get a wide mix of folks there. I mean a WIDE mix, more on that tomorrow.

First up was this restaurant called sticky rice. It was supposed to be good so why not check it out right? We walk in the door and the waitress asks if I have a reservation.... uuummm no. Now mind you the place is a converted row house. It's not a huge place. Why would I need a reservation? I see empty tables!! The waitress says "I can just seat you at the sushi bar" Ok cool, it's a full menu anyway. We sit down right in front of some Octopus. I mean every time I look up I see suckers. Then I ask the waiter for some ice tea. "Sorry we ran out, we have dragon fire tea. It tastes the same just with vodka" no usually when someone says silly things like that I don't believe them but I'll be damn if that drink didn't taste like unsweetened ice tea. Pretty good stuff. So I'm eating, chatting and getting glances of octopus. I make a joke about eating some of it. So I ask the sushi dude "hey whats that taste like?" he quickly responds "You wanna try it?" Now, lets take a step back. When you inquire about something if it's offered to you for free you have to take it. I mean what I look like joking about eating the raw octopus then turning down a free sample? Did I mention it was a first date? yeah my pride mixed with dragon fire tea took over. So that lead to this

Another note... when your at a sushi bar and you get an audience you know your doing something you shouldn't be doing. So after some tips from an asian guy I eat the cephalopod I realize I have NOTHING to wash it down with. Just some water. Good thing it didn't taste too bad. Like chewy fish, I doubt I'll eat it again unless it's a bet or something.

So after that we hit up this lounge. They didn't charge a cover so a wide mix of people strolled up in there. I mean from def black women, to white college students to crack heads... yes crack heads. See there are plenty in that area and they have yet to "move" them to another part of town. There is nothing like watching a crack head grandma dance in front of you. Watching grown ass men dance and touch on her, watch her flirt with dudes. It's quite entertaining. Then there was the pimp who sat next to us. Dude walked in with 2 women. sure they were in their 60's but who cares. He was my hero for the night, you can't knock his hustle. They sat by as he flirted with other women, then showed him all the attention when he came back. They barely even spoke to each other. For them it was all about him... lol

I'll post about saturday tomorrow.