10 April 2009

Got a Story to Tell...

Ok so I've been on my BS this week. I really should have blogged more but I didn't have much to talk about. I will however share this story. Now this story does not involve me but was told to me from my cuzzo. Story goes....

he's sitting in a bar for happy hour, this chick he met online and had been chatting with hits him up and asks where he is. He tells her and she says that she will come thru and have a drink with him. So he's feeling good. He has never met her in person but she has sent him several nekkid pics of her and her birth canal. So she shows up and he realizes that pics can be misleading. She's a big girl not just big but HUGE. he figured she has a large chest from the pics but he didn't get a full body image. He described her as "Like 2 Monique's, I mean Monique is cool but damn she was 2!!" So despite that our hero presses on, he holds a convo with her and realizes that she just has a piss poor attitude... strike 2. As a last resort he figures he will just try and get some ass. They have this convo:

Hero: "Can i go home with you?"
Moniquex2: "NO.. I don't know what kind of girl you think I am!!"
Moniquex2: "I don't get down like that!"
Hero: *confused* "Oh aight well I'm gone, Holla."

Now in this case I'ma side with our Hero, if you send nekkid pics to a dude you have never met in person you ARE the type of girl that will go home with that same dude. More over you called him trying to meet, I mean what did she expect? The lesson as always is don't do no sextexting if your not prepared to back it up in person.

Have a good weekend.

07 April 2009

Well Now I know...

So I was talking with my friend about our childhood and I mentioned how I don't remember anything before 5th grade. I mean NOTHING, my earliest memories are of elementary school. So after remembering that I do have baby pics and I'm not the real life Benjamin Button I began to get worried. I mean I know I forget alot of stuff but what if I have some repressed memory. Was my family hiding a secret from me? So the next day I called my mom. She had to know right? She wouldn't lie to me. Our convo went something like this:

Mom: Hello....
Me: Hi mom
Mom: Hi pumpkin! (I mean she IS my mom)
Me: You know I can't remember anything from before I was 5?
Mom: Oh that's good.
Me: No... No it's not, I'm concerned. Did anything happen to me as a child?
Mom: Well Davey you did hit your head alot, you were always hitting it on something.
Me: Oh gee thanks mom
Mom: *laughing at me and telling her co-workers about my hard head*
Mom: That was before child services cared about the kids
Me: Oh so you just dropped me all the time...
Mom: Well your were a happy baby.. a very happy baby.
Me: Yeah I probably had a concussion.

So if you ever wonder what exactly was wrong with me, now you know. I suffered numerous head injuries as a child... lol

06 April 2009

Because I'am G!

As in I'ma a Gardener. A couple of years ago I grew tomatoes, cilantro, basil and rosemary. For some reason I got to lazy to do it again but this year I broke out my green thumb and planted some tomato plants. Here are the pics, They don't look like much now but I'll keep ya'll updated on their progress.