27 August 2009

August re-cap

August has been a LONG month for me, I'll be happy for it to come to a end. Lets recap some of the high/low lights

- Went to court and got the child support straighten out. This was great even though my BM is still upset over it and swears she deserved more. Oh well....

- Filed court papers to get visitation on record. Until now I just saw my daughter when ever I wanted which was cool. But I also got her whenever her mom wanted, which meant I was a pseudo babysitter. My baby would go from house to house 3x a day some days. I need some consistency in my life so I wanna get it written down.

- I found out my baby will be home schooled. Yup her mom decided to rob her of a 1st day of kindergarten and keep her home. I was shocked by the whole thing, argued back and forth with her mom about it and found out there isn't much I can do about it. It's completly legal, dumb as hell, but legal. It's a huge changing point for me because for all the BS my daughter has been well taken care of. I might have agreed with everything but she was never hurt long term. This shyt is beyond beleif to me, everytime I think about it I get mad. All them pictures of kids on their first day just made me more mad. The best reason her mom had for doing it was I didn't pay for private school. Mind you she can home school because she DOESN'T WORK!! .... ok moving on

- I'm pretty sure my GF was thisclose to kicking me to the curb the last 3 weeks. It's a weird feeling because I cant recall ever being dumped. She hates my BM situation but she hates how I handle it more. I'm a passive person by nature, I'm used to the fuckery that is my BM but it's all new for her. Where she wants me to raise fire I'm more calm about the whole thing. She has a fresh distaste for it which I can understand. In the end I hope she sticks around, lord knows she's good for me and I love her.

- I got some new neighbors, at first glance looks like a house full of teenage boys. Should be fun.

- I was sick for a week. Not normal *cough cough* sick but razor blade in your throat sick. I swear I was going to die. I even made a plea on facebook for people to help my mom sell my organs online after I was gone.

- I started my biggest project of the year at work. It all seemed well in practice, then we started and everything blew up. I was saying FML (fuck my life) so much my GF said I should start saying BML (Bless My Life) and maybe things would change. See she's good for me!! I started saying BML but yeah my project is still codename FUBAR (some of you will get that)

So in short that has been my Aug. We still have a couple days left so I'ma try and end it on a good note. My buddies baby is getting baptised this weekend so while I'm in church I'll say a few extra prayers.

24 August 2009

My Reputation preceeds me...

When your coming up you get alot of reputations, some good some bad. I've had a a couple in my life. I spent most of my teenage years going by the nickname "monsta" smoking, drinking and just doing dumb shyt. Spent my early twenties blowing money and living the good life. I worked 2 jobs even though I didn't need to. I was on my grind and that was it. I spent 5 years working double time, on a paper chase. Everyone saw me as some one with money to blow. After my baby was born I was still working 2 jobs. For maybe the first year of her life I did. Then I decided to cut back and spent more time with her. Which was kinda backwards since my bills went up. More bills, less income yeah that's hustling backwards. I made it work though. Only thing was I had my reputation. So even now 4 years later when I tell my friends I'm thinking about getting a PT job again to pay off some debt they say "please as much as you make?" or everyone compares what they are doing to what I did. So many "I wanna get like you" comments.

I always say "you are who you are" but that's not always the case, you grow and change over time and your reputation doesn't always follow suit. So when people base you on your reputation take a moment to see which rep they are referring too.