08 October 2009

Support Systems

The other day I was kinda depressed. I was at the playground watching my baby run around and was thinking how she has no idea whats going on. She just wants to have fun. Meanwhile me and her mom are pretty much at war with each other.

this got me to thinking about my support system. You know, the people Who are there to listen when i just feel like venting, the folks who give the words of encouragement. I thought back to my convos with them and how when talking about issues we mask the pain with humor. My friends and family can find humor in anything. The thing is I didn't feel like laughing, didn't feel like talking I just wanted to sit and think. Kind of absorb my emotions. usually i don't open up to people, it's just not how I was raised. in our house you suffer alone. You lean on your own shoulder, and really only reach out if you need a pick me up.

In this case I didn't need to feel better I just needed a hug. Where exactly do grown single men get hugs? not "sexual grab on some booty" hugs but "baby it's going to be ok" hugs? I thought about my female friends and figured it would be silly to go visit them just for that, plus they wouldn't really really understand how I felt. were cool, but were not THAT close. I love my sister and mom dearly but we are not huggy people, like I said even in a house with 2 women there were not many emotions shown.

Then I realized that I pretty much will have to get thru it alone. Not physically alone because I have plenty of people in my corner but emotionally alone. Nobody else is as invested in this as I am, I could explain it to people but I can't make them feel how I feel. So at times like that I just have to look to the sky pray for some peace and keep moving forward. Luckily it was a nice fall day and the sound of children laughing is always peaceful

05 October 2009

Weekend Wrap-up

Ahh what happened this weekend? Oh yeah...

Saturday:

Me and the baby went to a pop warner football game. I was told there would be a moon bounce and face painting. turns out there was a moon bounce but it was closed and there was no face painting. Only a DJ blasting music and a ton of people dancing and "jerking". Every now and then I forget just how hood my county is. You see now I live in the burbs, we have our issues but it's nothing like where I grew up. Going to this game reminded me why I moved. My people can turn any event into a music video.. lol. Me and the baby ended up down on the field when they were doing player introductions and I heard one of the coaches tell his players "Everybody do the jerk at midfield!!" I was surprised, because why would you tell your football team too dance BEFORE the game? I understand it's fun for the kids but come on you supposed to set an example.

They introduced the cheerleaders too, my daughter seemed interested in that, of course I'd have to move to VA to sign her up. no way I'm letting my baby drop it like it's hot on the sideline. overall it was a ok time, by the time the moon bounce opened 20 big kids were in it with cleats on. So yeah the baby didn't get to go.

Later that day I decided to bake some muffins. My oven decided to burn me.



This is what it looked like the next day. It had been so long since I've been burned I forgot how to treat it. I tried everything under the sun to stop the burn but in the end my solution was aloe. It looks better now.

Sunday:

CORN MAZE!!!! yes we went back this year. They had a pirate theme this time. We went thru the maze in like 20 min. I mean we killed it this year. Me and my sidekick are problem solving geniuses lol. Then of corse he went on a hay ride and visited the petting farm. here's a couple pics.