20 November 2009

Cupcakes and ish

I should have never learned how to bake. It ruins stuff for me, like all these cupcake shops popping up around town. I think it's a crime to pay $3 for 1 damn cupcake. Especially when I know I can make a two dozen for about $10.

Sometime last year I want to Red Velvet in DC. I was highly disappointed. My friend was more then happy with it, I told her is was garbage and I could do better. When you know how to make something you judge everything different. Fast forward I'm at lunch with the same friend and she says this place Hello Cupcake is the truth. I'm willing to give it a try so we go in.

First thing I notice is the design of the place. Pink and white, real girly I just couldn't see 6 dudes walking up in there to buy some cupcakes after a night of parting... lol Are cupcakes feminine? don't answer that... All cupcake places have some crazy flavors, my friend says the pumpkin spice with cream cheese icing is good but I need to try something crazy. If I'm pay $3 for a cupcake I want it to be something I'm not going to make at home.

I decide on a Elvis, it's banana cake with peanut butter frosting. Yup just odd enough for me and my money. They toss the cupcakes in the bag and we take a seat. 1 bite and I know these people are CRUSHING that Red Velvet place, it's really moist and rich... Good stuff. I'm a lil jealous, so I'm sitting there thinking I need to make some more cupcakes. I just need some more exotic flavors, I don't want to sell them i just want the challenge. I get a bite of the pumpkin spice one and I KNOW I can make that. I have a ton of pumpkin to get rid of and I've made cream cheese icing before. A plan forms... I'm making pumpkin spice cupcakes this weekend.

18 November 2009


I don't think I ever really really touched on my baby momma and our story. I know I teased a few times on twitter about airing her out but never did. Honestly it was just my temper trying to get the best of me. But today I'm in a different mind set so I'll try and touch on it without showing my dislike of her.

We got together in June of 03, I met her at old part time job. I worked in a computer lab at this community college. Till this day I'm not really sure what I saw in her. My lil cousin was attracted to her and I started talking to her just based off that. Kinda just to prove to him I could get her. She didn't have the biggest ass, wasn't a freak, hell to quote chris rock she was a betamax. Logically I should have passed, she's 4 years older then me, had been a student full-time student for a couple years had a 8 year old son, no car, no cell phone. Really on a normal day I would have just smiled and waved.

I was on top of the world, I had just bought my house earlier that year, was working 2 jobs just because I wanted to. Had stacks on deck! my serial dating game was on point. Basically life was as good as it gets for a 23y/o.

We started dating and after a few months she was staying over my house on a nightly basis. We did more screwing then anything. I learned how sex can hide problems that you would normally discover if you were talking.

Fast forward to Nov 03, it was my b-day party and I was having a dinner at some Italian restaurant. My whole family was there and future BM had bought me a gift. I forgot said gift in the trunk, I didn't think this was a big deal since we were leaving together. Plus it's not like everyone had brought me gifts. No big unwrapping was going to happen. Future BM was heated about it though. She took it as a sign of disrespect. Like I could care less about her gift. This was a sign of things to come, So on the ride home we didn't speak much. Did I mention it was my birthday? yeah I was pissed too. So me being me I called the whole thing off. I was going back to my single comfort zone.

Then on Dec 7, 2003 (yes I remember the exact day) future BM pulled me aside at work and handed me a positive pregnancy test. Great, just my luck right? so we end up back together.

side note and maybe TMI... No I wasn't wearing a condom I was using the pull out method and the 1 time her ass doesn't get off me she gets preggers. Keep a nigga baby game on point. anyway....

So while she was preggers I try to be the best BF/future dad I can be. I give her a cell phone and bought a new car so she could drive my old one. My reasoning was she had dr's appts to get to and nobody should be driving around without a phone. Wait.. before all that she asks if she should get a abortion. I say I'll support whatever decision you make and it's your body... blah blah blah. Truth is I kinda wanted her to get one, I never wanted a baby momma I wanted a wife. I had no intention of marrying her and I knew it. That said I don't know what kind of asshole I would have become be if my baby had not entered my life and forced me to be a better man.

So now she's running around in my car talking on my phone but it's cool. I'm supporting my unborn baby. We have a couple arguments, normal stuff. things are looking good. I'm hoping to get thru this and work things out like adults.

Baby is born in July, her parents refuse to the hospital and visit. Actually their exact words to me were "well not everyone gets what they want" that's the moment I knew they were shady ass people. How you tell your daughter that? My mom comes to the hospital a lil before birth and BM refuses to let her see my first born. Let me say that again. This chick refused to let MY mom see MY baby girl. She didn't want my mom to be the first person to visit. She wanted her son to be the first. What kind of BS is that? You have no idea how heartbroke I was turning my mom away. I had no choice, when it comes to newborns the mom have all the say. On top of that since her parents refused to come visit I had to drive 30 miles one way to pick up her son so he could see his new sister. So I had to leave my new baby to pick someone else's kid up. Yeah it was a extremely bittersweet day.

We break up a few months after the baby is born. She asks for child support, I ask her how much she wants and give it to her. Mind you at this point I'm still paying for her phone and she still has my car. I'm thinking she HAS to see how good she has it. No baby daddy drama from me I just want to see my baby. I could care less who she sees or where she goes. Time after time we still have issues. She just lacks common sense and I just can't seem to believe that anybody is this slow. I end up canceling the cell phone, thinking that she might smarten up. Nope, same shyt. Tell her she can HAVE the car, just register it in her name. NOPE she don't want to pay insurance. All my friends just tell me to get custody and be done with it. I don't want to take a daughter from her mom, meanwhile I'm getting dicked over.

Lather, Rinse repeat. we've been like that for the last 5 years. Me trying to be the nice guy and at the same time getting punked. When my baby gets older she will know I ate years of shyt to try and keep the peace with her mom. Sad part all she understands is dysfunction. 6 years later and she is in pretty much the same position she was at when I met her.

17 November 2009

Baby Boy

In my last post I mentioned how I'm uncomfortable with women serving me. Then few women asked me about it so I figured I'd expand a little.

Despite being the baby boy my mom never babied me, for as long as I can remember I fixed my own plate and took care of my self. When I was sick she bought me meds and left me alone, She cared for me but wasn't my caretaker. I remember once I fell off my skateboard (I was a skater before it was hip lol) and busted my head open, I ran home with blood rushing down my face. My mom sat me in the lay-Z-boy and but some ice on my forehead. Never even considered taking me to the ER... lol I think it was her way of toughing me up since Daddy was gone.

Fast forward to adulthood.... Girls would offer to care for me when I was sick and I'd just reply "I'll be ok" mean while I'm throwing up all kinds of insides and shivering under 8 blankets, lol. I've been stuck in bed for weeks and still wouldn't ask for help. I'd manage to get things done myself or I just wouldn't have it. I always felt bad asking for help. Call it pride if you want but it's just what I'm used to. Even when someone offers to cook it makes me uncomfortable, I feel like I should help or contribute something. The whole idea of sitting and watching TV while someone cooks me dinner is just weird. I'd much rather us cook together. At the same time I'll cook dinner for someone else in a minute and not expect them to contribute anything. Yeah that's backwards and I'm ok with it.

plus we all know that dude who confuses his girlfriend/wife for his maid. She cooks for him, cleans up after him and he doesn't seem to even that she doesn't have to do any of that. He just never seems grateful. Them dudes always bothered me and I never want to be like them.

I'm the kind of guy where if you ASK I'll say no, but if you just DO not only would I not complain I'd be forever grateful.

15 November 2009

Another Wedding

On saturday I went to my uncles wedding. This is a uncle I'm not that close to, I have not spoken to him in months and I was shocked to hear he was getting married. I've never seen or met his soon to be wife. I would have skipped the whole thing but I had to go so my mom would be happy. Also my sister mentioned that the church was paying for the whole wedding, I've never heard of this and I needed to see what a church paid wedding was like.

Before the wedding I have to figure out what the baby was going to wear to this thing, I looked for a dress for all of 20min but only found christmas dresses, I ended up getting a outfit from target and complained to anyone who would listen that shopping for weddings was womans work... lol. Then I forgot to get him a gift, so I had to swing past the grocery store and pickup a card. They were not registered anywhere and wanted "monetary" gifts *borrows someones side eye* now I understand when you get older you might not need as many gifts but damn how you just going to ask for cash? btw this was my uncle's 2nd wedding and his new wifes 3rd. I did mention how my family sucks at marriage right? anyway....

So Saturday morning I get dressed (I'm wearing slacks a button up and a sweater, I look good to be at a wedding, trust me this is important) As soon as me and the baby walked in the door I thought, "wow this place is small" it was a storefront church which I'm sure was nice on sundays but seemed small for a wedding. Anyway I get my seating assignment and walk in. I see my uncle and go to greet him, no sooner then he says "hi" he tells the pastor "he's the one who will be lighting the candle"

*record scratch*

excuse me? nobody told me I was going to be IN the wedding. I was looking forward to attending a wedding and not having to do anything but crack jokes. This fool signed me up to play with fire!! so now I'm lighting 1 of the unity candles. So now I'm under dressed. I don't even have a tie on! It's ok I'm a wedding pro, I can handle this. So after taking a couple pictures where the photographer thoug I was the baby's brother I take her to the restroom.

Once out of the restroom I see my mom and sister, only problem they are sitting at a table on the their side of the room from me??? I call a audible and go sit next to them, plus they were closer to the front and If I had to approach the alter I should be as close as possible right?

Now I'm starting to notice some things, first my uncle has a BROWN suit on, who gets married in a brown suit? and he has brown patent leather shoes on. I didn't even know they made those. His suit fits him horribly, my mom being a seamstress is upset by this. I think it' funny. Then I notice the women....

I forgot how many women were at church, most of the ones there were married or not my type but none the less I was considering joining a church. Shyt I can find a wife and let the church pay for it! you can't beat that... lmao.

So then the wedding starts, I'm sitting next to my mom and she is cracking hella jokes. I have to tap her and tell her to "be nice" it's safe to say she doesn't approve of this wedding. So the Pastor gets to talking and talking and talking, he says everything except the wedding vows I'm expecting. He's talking about roses and lilies and my uncle looks bored. His wife is crying and he looks like his feet hurt lol. This is the same uncle who yawned at his moms funeral so I'm not really surprised. Then I notice the bride's brother sleep in the front row... classy.

My unity candle moment comes and goes and the pastor almost forgets to tell them to kiss. This was going to upset the baby as all she wanted was for them to kiss and to get cake. She is going to be a hopeless romantic I can already tell. She was way too excited to be at a actual wedding.

So the wedding is over and the bride and groom leave, only thing is the reception is in the same place. Yep there is a buffet is in the back, they leave for 5 min and come right back in... lol Were waiting to eat and my uncle calls me up to the head table. Turns out that's where my seat was??? how did I end up there? everyone is rocking shades of brown and I'm in all gray lol. I'm sitting next to the best man and being served a plate of food I didn't ask for. I look over to my baby and she is PISSED!!! I have food and she doesn't. I wave for her to come up but it's too late. She throwing all kinds of eye darts at me. My niece and sister are laughing. My baby is the nicest person until she gets mad, then she gets evil lol. It's funny to see a child mad at you. She didn't understand that I would have rather been down there with her. instead I'm making small talk with a dude I've never seen in my life. I'm being served by random women (side note... I don't like being served, I'd much rather go get my own plate, I mean my legs work. Being served and cared for by women makes me uncomfortable)

So I'm sitting at the head table and I notice my place card....

*record scratch again*

All my grandparents are gone, I'm nobody's grandson, what has he been telling these folks? So then I decide I've spent enough time at the head table and I'm going back to my fam to have fun. I go back to MY seat and the baby says "you think your a king but your not!" I laugh and ask her what she is talking about. Turns out my niece made a joke about me being so special and getting served like a king, of course the baby ran with that. After some laughing and cake we were all good.

So another wedding down and I'm still looking forward to going to a wedding and not actually being IN a wedding.