03 March 2010

Keeping the Peace

A couple posts ago a anonymous commenter mentioned how I should try and "keep the peace" with my BM. Reffering to it as a way to get along with her and avoid the drama.

That phrase "keep the peace" was something I lived by for 5 years with my BM. I igorned my better judgement and tried to get along with her. All the while thinking it would be best for LMS. I wanted LMS's childhood to be as drama free as possible. Then one day I realized it just couldn't happen, something had to give.

I was talking to my cousin one day and he was telling me about some problems he was having with his wife. He mentioned how she can unleash a shyt storm and he didn't really want to deal with it so he was just going to "keep the peace". I replied "keeping the peace only works if the other person wants peace". Now every now and then I say really profound stuff. Mostly it's to other people. The moment I said that I realized I was actually talking to myself. I went on to tell my cousin "would you rather live with a thunderstom everyday or weather a hurricane knowing the sun would shine after it was over?" I realized then that my BM didn't want peace with me. At no point had she done anything to "help" me. This was about her and what she felt I owed her. We were not a team, as much as I tried to work WITH her, she only cared what I could do FOR her. It wasn't even about LMS, it was about her and her ego.

So the idea of "keeping the peace" is great if you have someone who wants peace with you. If thats the case then by all means bite your tounge, ignore pettyness and work at live a happy life. However If you have someone who could care less about your happiness and just wants to use you as a doormat then you might just have to weather that hurricane.

Just grab your shades and a beach chair, once the storm passes and the sun shines you'll need them.

9 comments:

Redbonegirl97 said...

I agree. I have always said that I want to keep the peace with my kids dad but he always starts stuff. I try to weather it but soemtimes you just can't sit there, you fall into the trap and take action.

Tiffany
http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I completely agree with u on this one Dave!! If the other person don't want peace it aint happening. I just hope things work out for you and LMS soon!! Keep your head up!

Towanna

By the way are you back on track with the weight loss thing?

Kingsmomma said...

HA! Your BM sounds like that Alien in Independence day

"peace? NO Peace"
well what do you want us to do?
DIE...DIE"

OK that was a bit off but you get my point.

There is only peace where people are civil.

12kyle said...

Man, you said a mouthful with this post! She sounds like she's bitter. And people who are bitter never wanna see other people happy

Caspar608 said...

Daaaaavvvveeeeee:
You nailed it my brother.
Baby Mama is a NUTBALL and someone both my heroes Wayne and Garth would avoid like the plague.

Blame it on the fumes in the office that popped off the relationship from hell that produced the slice of heaven we all know (and love) as Little Miss Sunshine.

You are going to be fine. That woman will die a miserable bitch. Mark My Words.

God Bless us all....everyone.

buttahflychronicles said...

I heard that brotha.

La said...

I usually just work but I had to tell you...

I showed this post to a friend of mine who is going thru it with his BM and doesn't understand why "keeping the peace" ain't working for them. You hit it right on the head.

Ieisha said...

Thank you for setting that anonymous blogger straight. Profound words for many.

Hope you're shopping for those Gucci or Versace (pronounced ver-say-see) shades cuz your sunshine is coming, my friend.

sunnydelyte21 said...

I couldn't agree more.