14 April 2010

2 cousins

I have these 2 cousins, they are brothers seaprated by a year. Were all about the same age, Even though you would think they are close they are VERY different people. This was reveled to me again this weekend when I was hanging out with them. As I was riding in the car with "H" we were talking women and relationships and I mentioned how I want to get married. After his "WHAT?, TO WHO?, DAMN!" questions he just said thats good and I hope it works out for you. Mind you he went thru a HORRIBLE divorced with his ex-wife. Still he can be objective, offer some advice and wish me luck.

Fast foward to drinks at the bar. We were at Jaspers in Largo, MD. This is the kind of place that would be really nice if it were in a different part of town. The space is is nice but the crowd is hood as hell. After a couple "This place should have a AIDS scanner at the door" and "This is exactly why I need to get married" jokes my cousin C aks "Who getting married?" then our convo went something like this.

Me: I'd like too
C: Man don't do it!!!
Me: *lol* just because your marrige sucks doesn't mean it don't work
C: True, but there are no happily married people
Me: Dude most my friends are happily married, even after like 5 years
C: Yeah but your a Van Buren!
C: Aint no Van Buren, happily married. That shyt not for us son
Me: Damn why you wanna throw that in there? I'ma just have to buck that trend.
C: Aight man well you know I'ma support you reguardless
Me: Thanks man

The convo continued but you get the idea. C is married with 3 kids and honestly I think he misses the single life. To him marriage is a bad idea. H is divorced and knows what works for him doesn't nessarily work for everyone else. 2 brothers with 2 different outlooks on marriage and life really. It was a reminder how you're not completly a product of your upbringing.

There was a fourth person in our group who congratulated me on just having a marriage THOUGHT. He was like "thats big to even think about it" wth kind of shyt is that? I would say I'm scared for the youth but dude is older then me lol


Kingsmomma said...

Well it is good that you have such a positive outlook on marriage considering the foolishness.

and if you don't fix that your in the last paragraph to you're i'm going to jump on that chinatown bus and fix myself.

whats for dinner?

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@KingsMomma - geez grammar police... consider it fixed. lol

Monique said...

I'm glad you are one of the few men who understant that you don't have to conform to other people's views on life. You are the captain of your own fate. I'm sure you will have a fabulous marriage to a woman that is loving, kind and can cook as good as you(I've had your cupcakes before homie. She has to be on point!). Here's wishing the best to you and your future wife...where ever she may be.

Sha Boogie said...

Yes, big ups and salutations for just having the thought, lol. To many tan folk don't understand the beauty and need of FAMILIES in our communities. And I think its just an amazing thing to journey with a partner through life. I'm coming up on my one year anniversary and although it has its ups and downs I wouldn't go back to the single life!

RealHustla said...

See what we women have to deal with?

Cas (is on another account now, but stopped by anyway) said...

I think people are cowards and too proud to step back and admit maybe they were wrong, so their marriage falls apart.

Marriage USED TO BE an INSTITUTION. Meaning, it was a contractual obligation...a spiritual, physical, emotional, legal and mental bond no man or woman under heaven, no demon from hell, should break. Then we evolved into "me, me, me" creatures of habit who decided personal needs were more important than the needs of the bond between man and woman. Your man cheated, take half and move on! Your woman screwed your best friend? Beat her ass, kill him and keep it moving!

Marriage is a lesson in humility and patience and tenacity and understanding. I dont believe in bailing when the boat gets rocky. I believe in love. Some people never really got aquainted with love, so when they get married, and things get crazy, they have no qualms with breaking the bond and moving on. Love is so much more important than pride. Unless your man/woman is beating your ass or giving you diseases...I believe in keeping a marriage together.

For better or for worse.

Some folks get caught up in the cliche' of not getting married for the sake of sanity and self preservation. We need our families to stick together and teach the young ones how to love and not to give up. We have a bunch of kids from broken homes looking to reality shows to teach them how to cope. No wonder the world is a mess.

Keep up the good work SDVB. And keep your baby heart open. Love will find you...

laughing808 said...

Marriage is certainly wonderful between two people who WANT a wonderful marriage. Like anything and everything else in life, marriage is what you make it.

I knew a few people married and they are seemingly happy and when I inquired they all told me they had their ups and downs. But all in all they love their spouse and WANTED to be happy and it shows when they are together.