21 April 2010

I saw her...

I was kinda hesitant to tell this story, I don't like having to relive the moment and the emotions. I usually puts me in a bad mood. That said feel like I should share just so ya'll can keep up.

Lets rewind 2 weeks ago. I'm talking with a lady from the school system trying to gathering up some records for my impending custody case and she tells me that LMS is in fact enrolled in school. She tells me where and it's about 20 min away. I was in shock since I thought LMS was sitting at home with her mom. Looks like my BM up and moved to a new city and enrolled LMS in a new school. So I talk to the lady and she gives me the information I need. I let her know I'll swing past the school the next day just to say hi to my baby.

Next day I head over to the school. Everyone is pleasant at first, I tell them who I am and why I'm there. They mention how LMS looks just like me and direct me to her class. Class is empty (kids are at lunch) but I see LMS's teacher down the hall. She immediately says "You need to go to the office". I explain that I already had been to the office and I showed her my hall pass. This was funny because I don't think I have ever had a hall pass in my life lol. She goes into the office ahead of me and as I walk in all I hear her say is "Well I've seen it!" then she walks in the back. I'm in the lobby confused as to whats going on. I look at the receptionist and ask if there is a problem? She explains that apparently my BM showed the teacher some paperwork saying I was not allowed to see LMS. Confused, I asked if I could see this "paperwork". They didn't have it on file.. O_o So they called up BM. I meet with the Vice Principle to try and get some clarification and he explains that if there is legitimate docs that limit me from seeing LMS then he has to follow them. I explain that I fully understand that but there is nothing that I have seen that says that. I also mention that if she really really had legit docs then they should have been put in LMS's records and not just shown to a teacher. Either way BM says she is going to fax over the docs so I go to the lobby to wait.

While waiting the receptionist lady is talking to me and mentions how both BM and I seem like pleasant people and she didn't understand how 2 pleasant people couldn't get along. I just say I don't want to talk bad about her and leave it at that. By then I was nervous and pissed at the same time. I was sitting in that office looking like the bad guy. Like i was some kind of asshole who wasn't ALLOWED to see his baby and I was trying to get over by sneaking in her school. After about 10 min the VP tells me that my BM is coming up to the school, cool because I really want to see what she showed them. I was thinking she made up some papers and showed them to the teacher instead of the principle since the teacher wouldn't ask the proper questions.

40 min later my BM shows up, I don't even want to look at her. She goes in the back to talk with the VP. About 10 min after that the police show up. They walk in and I KNOW she called them on me, I speak to them knowing full well I did nothing wrong. They proceed to go meet with her, I'm back to waiting. People go in and out of the office but nobody really speaks to me. I'm thinking this is a good sign since if it was as simple as "here is the paper" then the police would read it and ask me to leave. My guess is they are explaining to her that she is full of it. About 15min later the police come out. They say that she has nothing, I have every right to be there and they are leaving to go fight actual crime. Basically BM was making shyt up and trying to twist facts to make her look good. I thank them for their time and go back to waiting.

Then the VP comes out.... he apologies for everything and explains that my BM is withdrawing LMS from school for the day. I ask if that means I can go see LMS and he says that I would have to ask my BM. I already know the answer to that but just for shyts and giggles I wait. She comes out and I ask her if I can go give LMS a hug. In front of all those folks who looked at me crazy and like I was the bad guy she says "you most certainly may not!" So in the interest of not causing anymore of a scene at the school I walked out to the parking lot.

I jump in my car and pull up to the front of the school. I decided I'd just wait for them to come out, not to kick her ass but just to see LMS and let her know I was alive. After all it had been 3 months. So after a couple min LMS and her mom walk out. I get out my car and I swear LMS looked at me like I was a ghost. Maybe the sun was in her eye and maybe I was kinda far away but it took her a min to recognize me. Once she did she started crying said she missed me and wanted to go with me. As her mom dragged her by the arm to their car, I told her I missed her too and I would see her soon. *cue heartbreak*

I spoke to the school again and they said I was free to come in and hang out in LMS's class, They know they messed up but I really need to talk to her teacher. She acted on something she was told and not actual fact. I'm sure she already has a opinion of me based on what my BM said to her, Granted it's a wrong but it's still something I would have to address before I'm all up in her class.

So for about 2 minutes I saw my little girl. It was both the highlight and saddest part of the day. Now if you excuse me I'ma go make a drink.


Babs said...

That shit is heartbreaking and I am really sitting here feeling sad.

My heartfelt best wishes go out to you. Thank you for enduring all this crap for your LMS.

BorednTalkative said...

OMG!! That is so sad. I could hardly finish reading it cause my eyes were filling with tears. BM is taking ish too far. That is ridiculous. I pray that this custody battle ends in your favour. She isn't fit to be a mother. No human being could ever intentionally put their child through such turmoil just because they are so fucking selfish.

Anonymous said...

Damn Dave!!! Now I need a drink. I am so heartbroken. This was so hard for me to get through. My heart and Prayers go out to you and your LMS who you will be reuinited with very soon!!!


KnitFloozy said...

In the name of everything sacred I rebuke BM for you. My heart and virtual hugs go out to you Dave

Caspar608 said...

Know what.
I'm really, really angry right now.
Like, if I drove down there...I would skull drag that no good bitch from the front of the school to the next TOWN.
She is an ignorant opportunist who needs to get up off of her ass and do something that isn't spiteful with her miserable fucking life.
If you were my son, I would have had her taken care of a long time ago.

I'm glad this happened though. Document it and make sure the Judge knows about it during the custody hearing. Get witness statements if you can. Tell the Court it is impossible for you to have a healthy relationship with your daughter under the current custody arrangements because her mother is an unstable pathological liar.

Keep the faith Dave. I know its hard, but keep the faith.

I think I will go cry now.

Otis said...

BM is a horrible person. cant even imagine how you feel. i feel strong enough about my nephew to crack some heads...dont even know what i'd do for my own children when i have them.

Stay up man.

Ms. Behaving said...

WOW...So much for her doing what's in the BEST interest of LMS.

::shakin' my head::

I mean...If she's got beef with you ---> fine but it's pretty sad she'd drag your little girl in the middle of it.

Pretty sad indeed...

RealHustla said...

I don't believe in crying at work so I'mma go to the bathroom now till this all washes over.

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

This really made me mad.

As Caspar608 said make sure you document this incident. Get the teacher's and VP's name.

Now I'm going to go to the bathroom and wipe my eyes.

She Needs said...

I agree with Casper 608...Document/Get witness statements and any interactions between you two. Basically any and everything that happens.

She is so wrong for this, I cant imagine keeping my son away from his dad. Does she not understand that it hurts LMS more that anything in the world not to have you in her life.

Sha Boogie said...

How amazingly sad... I literally have tears in my eyes for all that you are going through. The saddest part is that BM is not only doing you an injustice.. the real 'loser' here is your baby girl. How dare she keep your child away from you because of her own personal hang up?! I sincerely wish you well with this, I know you will be victorious because you're doing the right thing. Keep fighting for your daughter.

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

It still amazes me to know there are women who will not allow a man to be with his child when he is trying to do so. Especially when there are so many who would not care to do anything at all.

Hopefully one day God will allow her mother to act in a way that is best for LMS. For truly He is the only person who can...God be with you Dave.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy reading your blog from time to time to give me insight on how my husband may be feeling. Just like you, he's going through a custody case with his triflin' BM and just like your situation she's very selfish and tries to control everything - except her child. Nor does she even spend time with her son like she should. If he's "with her" then he's at her parents house. Now that there's a custody case against her and we gained majority custody she pulled out all the stops and went as far as to try to put my hubby in jail by falsifying abuse reports - convinced my step-son to lie. I can't imagine how it feels to have a woman do so much damage to a father's relationship with his child only because of her own selfish reasons. We complain when the father's not around but don't want him around unless it's under our terms...ladies it doesn't work that way! My parents broke up when I was 6 and my mother went through some BULL#$% with my Dad...did she keep us from seeing him? NO! She was and still is a real true woman. Props to REAL WOMEN in the world...to the fake azz BROADS trying to GET BY by getting OVER - GO SUCK EGGS...

Alovelydai said...

I've spent a while now reading your entire blog...yup start to finish. I laughed at times & now I'm just pissed. I pray your BM finds some peace to stop being such a hard a$$. I swear I hear about women like this but I have never met one.

I'm keeping you & LMS in my prayers. Keep blogging & purging your thoughts. It'll be all worth it soon.

sunnydelyte21 said...

I wish to God you were my daughter;s father. He does little to nothing. And barely sees her.

I feel sorry for you and LMS. Your BM is being a bitch. Make me wanna slap females like her.

I will pray that things work out in the childs best interest.

RaShauna said...

God bless you and your LMS. My heart goes out to you. I really hope your BM will see the Truth in you, and come to acknowledge it. Peace.

Cyn said...

That made me cry.
I'm so sorry you and LMS are going through this. Keeping you both in prayer.

Caspar608 said...

I've been thinking about this all damn day.
I cannot stress to you ENOUGH how important it is that you get statements from the school faculty...she lied to them and they had to call the police...get statements from the police if you can too...I'm serious. She might have even called the police because that NO GOOD BITCH knows she needs to be kicked into next Tuesday.

Document. Get statements from the school...request a copy of her file because the incident should be in her file.

Dude, if you do not win custody of LMS I am going to give up on life all together.

Stay strong. Keep the faith.

Love, Cas

12kyle said...

Mannnnnn! I'm at a loss for words. Just when you think it can't get worse, it does.

Keep ya head up, Dave.

Keep praying

EmberRose said...

I'm crying. This......it is a HORRIBLE mother. There's NO excuse for this kind of behavior. None.

Ms. Camile said...

Sigh. This brought tears to my eyes. So many whack "a" fathers out here....But you are trying to be there for yous and her mother is too stupid and selfish to see. smh. I'd like to meet her so I could hopefully slap some sense into her. ugh...There is nothing worse than a scornful woman. I will be praying for this situation. Stay positive and on the right track for your baby!


Stefanie said...

Hmm... I say use this fiasco as a tool for the court system to review. She should NOT be able to just uproot your child from school to school without your consent and then LIE to the staff about your right to see your own daughter. She definitely needs to be put in check, legally.

Super Dave Van Buren said...

@Babs Thank you for the wishes

@BorednTalkative - Thanks for the Prayers, It will pass in due time

@Towanna - I have faith we will be reunited too, thanks for the prayers

@KnitFloozy - lol @ rebuke. thanks

@Caspar608 - Don't worry I got all the information I needed and talk about it with my lawyer. I'm in good shape.

@Otis - Thanks man

@Ms. Behaving - She doing the only thing she can do to hurt me. It's so not about whats best for LMS. She just wants her getback.

@RealHustla - bathrooms are dirty, you should go to the car lol.

@Thoughts of a Southern gal - dont be mad... I promise it will have a happy ending

@She Needs - I only talk to her via text and email so everything is documented already.

@Sha Boogie Thanks for the well wishes, yeah LMS is being hurt more then anyone

@Kay C, The Quiet Storm - Maybe one day god will touch her heart, I hope either he hurries or the courts do.

@Anonymous April 21, 2010 1:26 PM - I'm sorry to hear you and your husband is going thru something simular. I know it's no fun. I hope you continue to support him and it all works out for the child

@Alovelydai - Thanks for reading the whole blog! trust me these women do exist. Kinda like santa and the m&m's lol. Thank you for the prayers

@sunnydelyte21 - Thanks for the prayers, I wish i had any number of different women as a BM, but alas were stuck with the people we choose

@RaShauna - Thank you

@Cyn - Thank you for the prayers

@12kyle - Thanks bruh

@EmberRose - Please don't cry... I have faith it will all be ok

@Ms. Camile - Thanks for the prayers, one day after the dust settles I hope she see's how silly this all is and how we could have handleded it differently.

@Stefanie - Yeah I'm working on the legal part of it. Thanks for the comment

Redbonegirl97 said...

That is horrible. Even though I can't stand my kids Dad, I never kept the from seeing him and it would have been easy since he was never up on anything and always had to be told. You seem like you are trying to do the right thing and I hope your daughter realizes how much her Daddy loves her and when she gets older all the crap her Mother has told her about you fades from her memory. Good Luck to you.

Peace, Love and Chocolate

CheeseGrits said...

How is it possible that a man that wants to be in his child's life and wants to do good for his child is not allowed to see his child?
Does she know how many dead beat daddies there are running around? How many men that say, "I'm not the daddy" when they know they are?
Could she be any more selfish?
This selfishness and childish behavior is really going to impact the baby's life in the long run...I don't see how she could not see that.

Such a damn shame.

AtruHollywood said...