07 June 2010

Keeping it in your pants

I know a couple people either complaining about not getting any action or just giving it up to anyone. I even know some women who choose to be celibate and receive flack for it. Like they are letting a prized wine go to waste. Truth is I've been on both sides of that coin. I went to a phase where I slept with some women I'll never claim and I went thru a phase where I didn't sleep with anyone at all. Yup I was celibate.

After LMS was born and I broke up with my BM I was celibate for like 2-3 years. I didn't even count the months/days. It didn't even bother me, I didn't miss sex, I wasn't complaining about not being able to get any booty. I still went out on dates I just didn't have any desire to have sex. Its not that they weren't attractive I was just focused on being a dad. Going on dates was just a hobby, not something I was serious about. Plus I was a little shook from getting a girl preggers. I never wanted 1 baby momma much less 2! Some dudes are controlled by the power U, the idea of not having a girl on deck drives them crazy. Hell even some women are consumed by the D and having a "maintenance" man. While it may seem like I'm always dating someone trust me it's not because I have to. The time I spent celibate was productive and I learned alot about me and about women. When your not trying to get in someone's pants you can actually learn alot about them. It forces you to have a real conversation. Trust me when I say if you take a moment to listen, people will tell you everything you need to know about them. Plus when your not focused on sex you put that energy into other things. Just don't trade sex for drugs for liquor.

Short story short, anybody who says you need to be getting some is lying to you. Any dude who's acting like you not giving him some is the end of the world is a lame-O and your better off without him. nobody should be using the lack of sex in their life as a excuse for anything. Being celibate is perfectly fine and now a days it might just save your life.


Caspar608 said...

you never cease to amaze me.

thank you for putting this out there.
I was celibate for a long time too. Sex isn't all people make it out to be, certainly better when you're in love with the person you're giving it to, and definitely NOT worth dying for...but people run around fucking like bunnies inviting all kinds of characters into their homes around their innocent children...I just don't get it. why any mother would bring a dude around her children before she knows if he has a criminal background or AIDS is beyond me, but you laid it out nicely and I appreciate your effort.

proud of you Dave!

Redbonegirl97 said...

Yeah I have had my moments where I was getting any and it didn't phase me. Hell I was celibate when I was with my kids dad because I didn't trust his azz. And like you said it really does focus your attention and energy on something else.

Peace, Love and Chocolate

Kingsmomma said...

Damn right You tell em dave! I think sex is overrated... or maybe I just never did it right, Either Way I agree. Once you remove sex from theequation you understand (yourself, others and situations at hand) more clearly.

Monique said...

I'm trying to understand the need for women to put these sexual endeavors (or lack thereof) out there for folks to know. Learn to be a lady and keep it to yourself. I've been celibate before, while in a relationship, and let me tell you it was the best time we had. We found our vision once we removed the sex.

chele said...

Very well put.

SincerelyGo said...

What you've posted here is true. I dated a guy for two years before we had sex. I'd already wanted to be his wife and have his babies before the peen because we'd enjoyed being around each other so much.

Now it's been about two years since I've seen him but we are going on a lunch date Friday while I'm in town.



BorednTalkative said...

Completely agree with you Dave.

Jessica said...

I think my jaw fell to the floor that a guy actually said that. I do agree having said that I haven't gotten any since end of last year and well yeah would be nice to get some. After a bad breakup though I'm more inclined to wait for someone good to come into my life who values me and treats me good. Would be a nice change.

RealHustla said...

And honestly, I think that I prefer the many hobbies/skills that I've picked up along the way more than maintaining a relationship (maybe not, I'm still just weighing it all out).

But the free time to dedicate any or your extra energy to the things YOU want to pursue is priceless, truly priceless.

Highly favored said...

married now but I remember when it was all about gettin it in and believing it was a necessity. The older I got the more I saw that this daily d down was clouding my judgement. Just because he had a great sex game didn't make him a good dude and just because I said I loved him didn't mean I really did. Somethings u only learn through experience.

Ms. Behaving said...