20 August 2010


I realize a good 80% of the people who read this blog are single mothers and another 15% are women. So when I feel like blogging about things like child support and how children are treated I know I'll get some backlash. That said this blog is about my point of view which isn't a mom, a single mom or even a woman. I'd like to think ya'll read this blog exactly for that view.

That said I just feel like my baby momma doesn't care about LMS. I truly think she is selfish and only focused on herself and how she can get over. She looks at my baby is her source of income. For example, I took this pic last week and this is typically what LMS looks like on a day she's with her mom.

granted she is and always be beautiful to me but when I look at the picture all I see is how she has on clothes that I bought last summer, her hair is never done, how her mom buys the cheapest shoes she can find and she has gained something like 10 pounds in 9 months (but thats a whole different post). To me she just looks dare I say dirty and uncared for... she just isn't thriving like she used to. I can't stand how I pay child support and watch it not go to my daughter. This year I have paid over 5g's in support this year and when I see my baby she looks a mess. (before ya'll get on me about how much kids cost understand that LMS doesn't go to daycare or a summer camp. without childcare costs the least a kid should have is new clothes) I can't think of a woman besides my BM who wouldn't do their daughters hair. Even if I get past the clothes thing and knowing my money is being mismanaged fact is that doing a child's hair has nothing to do with money and everything to do with patience and effort. She doesn't have any patience for children and she only shows effort in finding ways to get money out of me.

I just want whats best for my little girl and it's heartbreaking to know that she's not getting it.


Carolyn (cmarie12) said...

I don't know about anyone else...but as the mother of three daughters...most of whom I raised as a single parent...the only time my daughters looked like this ~ they were waking up or coming out of the pool.

And you are right...child support is for the child. To feed them, to buy things for them, to support them! Now I know some people say what about electricity, food etc. My thought is that you need those same things too, so why wouldn't you provide them for your child while taking care of yourself.

You should be mad because looking at that picture...I damn sure am!

buttahflychronicles said...

I comb my daughters hair every morning and every afternoon she looks like this. I can't just swoop her up from daycare and go some place like a restaurant or a mall. People would think that I didn't care.

Also, some moms think that if they put the worst clothes on the child then the father may be compelled to fix the problem with more money.

Another point of view. BD2 would say he was coming to get the baby. I'd sit her down to get her ready, "where are we going" was the first thing she'd ask. Sometimes I'd tell her your dad is coming to get you and then he wouldn't come. So, I started to wait until he got there and then would comb her hair. This nigga had the nerve to ask why I didn't have her ready. In those cases I would reply, if you want to take her like this then fine. Bet he told people that I didn't care about her hair.

The Jaded NYer said...

I agree with the commenter above- my girls leave the house groomed and come back looking like they were in a fight and lost. Not to make excuses for your daughter's mother, but it's just a POV you should consider.

The clothes and such... I don't know what to say. It's sad to think a mother uses a baby for a paycheck but I'm not naive; I know it happens. My thoughts are with you, man. Just keep doing what you do for your baby until the courts finally see the situation for what it is.


Theonly1 said...

I do notice that LMS has gained some lbs since she hasn't been around you as much...FS keep her fed, and BM keeps her sedentary...me no likey!!!

Even after a LOOOOONNNNNGGGGG day of playin...that afro-puff didn't stand a chance. Hell forcing that baby in that lil ass shirt was enough for its demise.

SMDH, I feel for you brutha!!!

I keep prayin that some judge, in some court, somewhere in the family court system will just read ole girl her rights about bein such a crappy mother like that one GA judge did ole girl!

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

Little girls can leave the house with their hair perfectly combed but come back hours later with it looking like who and who did it. But I have been reading about the BM for awhile now and I tend to think she's not combing that baby's hair. If she is putting her child in too little clothes then you know she is not combing her hair. But I could be wrong. **kanyeshrug**

Dave, when you get your daughter, does her hair always look like this?

Child support is a sticky issue. I'm a firm believer that whomever receives the child support check can do whatever they want with the check as long as it benefits the child in some way. If you need to pay the water bill one month with the check then pay the water bill. But the check is not your water bill payment every month!

You look like you spit her out yourself. Love her smile.

And Dave, I still have my brass knuckles.

Kingsmomma said...

This really breaks my heart. In the end it hurts the child more than it will hurt you (if that's what her hoodrat ass is trying to do)

I'm so tired of seeing crap like this from women who just don't want to do crap but let their uterus earn them money. What is wrong with her, more importantly where is her mother or a support system where they pull her aside and tell her just how idiotic she's being?
Your daughter is a beautiful girl and it hurts to see that she is in the middle of this foolishness. I can only hope and pray that you are given custody so you can give this little angel teh childhood she truly deserves.

I have soooooo much to say on that topic but i'll leave it at that. SHe makes me want to go get a scarf, tub of vaseline and step to her. This is just soo wrong. I don't even like sending my SON out like this.

and i think most of your readers who are single mothers would like nothing better than to wear your bm out....
that china bus is still 10 dollars yo. 3 hrs

Kingsmomma said...

and i bet her ass gets her weave done on a regular

Ms. Behaving said...

From all I've read about her, your BM comes across as a very evil, wicked and spiteful woman.

How she can allow her hatred for you to reflect in the parenting of your daughter I don't know ::shakin' my head:: but karma is a b*tch and a bad one at that so you can rest assured that she will have her day.

Monique said...

I'm just going to give you a cyberhug and a high five for a beautiful daughter and a kind spirit. I'm leaving it at that because I have all kinds of unkind words for BM.

EmberRose said...

She. Makes. Me. Mad.

I've moved out of the DMV but it's still home and I know the way. 24 hours and $60 and I'm in it to win it.


GorgeousPuddin said...

I'm mad too! No mother should do that to her child for any reason.

I hate to see parents out looking all good and their child is following behind them looking a mess. I know kids can look rough after a hard day of playing but there is still a difference between that and obvious mistreatment. Which is what I see here too!

I will be praying that you get your baby so you can care for her and take care of her the way she deserves to be cared for!

Don't worry God see's her too!

The Green Eyed Bandit said...

This is the first time I have read your blog. I am not having a good first impression of your BM. She is giving other women such a bad rap. I tell people there is a difference between a baby momma and a child's mother. When most here those 2 phrases, they have 2 different images in their minds.

I need to sit down to read some old posts. I think you will become part of my daily stops.

Anonymous said...

Another POV to consider is along the lines of what Thoughts of a Southern Gal said: "You look like you spit her out yourself." I knew a friend of a friend who constantly talked about how her child was a 24/7 reminder of baby daddy... from the looks and mannerisms. So she would take it out on said child in a variety of ways...including using child support money for her own self instead of for the child. Childish, but true. So maybe some of that vitriol she's displaying towards you is also trickling down to LMS. Time to get yo' baby, son!

Caspar608 said...

Dear Dave

Where does this bitch live?

I would rather jump in front (but make it look like an "accident") of a moving train than have any of my kids look like they aren't cared for...at least they would have insurance money coming their way.

I despise your baby mama cuntrag do nothing piece of human trash. Your poor little girl. What about braids. Can't we get her hair some braids? Teach her to sleep with a scarf around her head? Tell her to eat healthy? Do some jumping jacks with her? Teach her how to do sit ups and push ups in a loving manner? What about swimming classes at the local college, can you take her to those every weekend? Can you speak with her Doctor about the obvious neglect?

I would make a call to Child Protective Services. Make sure you check the babies teeth...she might have cavities because her mother obviously does not care. It's one thing to return a little girl to her mom looking a hot mess because she has been running amuck with her Dad. Its another thing all together when a mother drops a little girl OFF to her Dad looking a hot mess.

She's a beautiful little girl who isn't being taught to take care of herself by her Mom. Every time you pick her up you should take a picture. Take her to the Dentist too. And to your own Doctor.

This is spiteful neglect. No doubt in my mind.

Rhonda said...

It breaks my heart that your daughter has to go through this. I just don't understand! HOW in the world can a woman be so selfish? You are doing the right thing and you deserve credit.
I'm sure your daughter thrives when she is with you.

luvlymskrissy said...

smh@ deadbeat moms! That irks me to no end!

I agree a child can leave the house one way and come back looking all types of crazy but, he mom didn't comb her hair. She didn't even try. My 9 month old leaves the house very neat and hair done and when I pick her up sometimes it looks like i didn't do much to her hair lol.

My heart goes out to you. I hope everything works out. It really sucks that you wanna spend time with your child and you pay support when some of us can't even get half of that effort.

Highly favored said...

I'm with Caspar608 She needs to get a job. Dave I feel for you I couldn't imagine having to deal with her nonsense. I have two boys so for me its alot easier sneaks and a haircut and we can roll out. It all boils down to caring and how she sends LMS out is a representation of how much she cares. Sad but the world is made up of real Nasty so called women. Oh and look into getting her hair braided every week or two that way she doesnt have to really do to much and you can be sure
LMS isn't running around lookin like nobody give a dame.

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

You and your daughter just crossed my mind so I had to come back. Now I'm mad all over again! I agree with some of the other commenters, see if you can get her hair braided. See if any of your friend girls or female relatives can braid.

If it wasn't against the law, I would tell you to go get her and run away and I would help you.

Two words: brass knuckles

P.S. I love this... said...

I'm saddened by the seeming neglect your daugther is enduring. It doesn't appear that your BM is going to change so you may have to take matters into your own hands. When you pick your daughter up, bring a change of clothes that are to you liking and standards and have LMS change before you leave BM's house. Then if her hair isn't done, ask a female friend to do it or learn to do it yourself. http://projects.ajc.com/gallery/view/living/braids/

I know it's heartbreaking for you and hopefully your daughter will be with you permanantly soon. But in the meanwhile don't let you or your daughter be victimized by a careless BM.

Anonymous said...

I see this all the time and it makes me mad. CHILD support is exactly that FOR THE CHILD. There is no reason why your child or any child should have uncombed hair, clothes that don't fit right, not eating healthy meals all b/c some trick wants to use an innocent child for her meal ticket or to be ghetto fabulous. If she has no patience for your child, then she has no business having custody or collecting money so she can be getting her hair nails done whatever useless crap comes to mind. I've been at salons where these self centered bitches will let their kids rot in a stroller or cry b/c they're tired hungry etc. all b/c they want to look good I told someone once a salon is no place for kids if the child isn't being worked on how would you sit for hours in a chair with no stimulation or being fed? I didn't think so. Stop paying the piper and GET YOUR CHILD! File for custody she's probably better off with you anyway. Guys need to think before they lay down and make a baby b/c just b/c a woman has a uterus doesn't make her a mother and I'm a female and I'm saying that

Notorious Spinks said...

I just hope that through it all your baby girl is not hurt in the process. BM should be ashamed but I know she ain't.