27 September 2010

Then it All Changed

Last week I went back to court to conclude my custody hearing. I had a billion things on my mind. I had no idea how it was going to turn out or how the outcome would change my life. All day I ran scenarios thru my mind and none of them ended with Busta Rhymes lol.

I was worried my baby momma wouldn't show, that she would find a way to drag this out longer. That I wouldn't get custody, That I would get custody and not be able to handle it, That I would get custody and it would ruin my relationship. Basiclly I was worried about everything. when I get nervous I just kinda zone out, I prepped for that day and I need to just stop thinking and live in the moment.

When I got to the courthouse I had to wait... we waited over a hour before our case was called. The judge took us last because he knew we were going to take a while. If you remember the last time we were in his courtroom things didn't end so well, he was in a bad mood and was having a horrible day. Thankfully he reconigzed that and apologized for it. He explained his actions and we progressed on with the case.

After about 4 hours of talking and testomony the judge went into his ruling. As I sat there I had no idea how it was going to go, the more he talked the more unsure I was. I sat and tried to figure out what I was feeling, I was sacred, happy and worried all at the same time. It wasn't till towards the end that I had a idea where he was leaning....

He mentioned how me and my baby momma could not agree on anything and it's like we are coming from different planets. Due to that he said Joint legal custody was impossible

*sidebar: Legal custody is who has the rights to make life choices for the child. Like school, doctors, church. Things like that. Most people have joint legal which means the parents have to agree on choices. Physical custody is who the child lives with a majority of the time.*

So with joint legal custody off the table he began to talk about physical custody. He mentioned how if things didn't change LMS would lose her relationship with me. Her mother had no interest in making sure I was a part of her life. I should mention that my Baby momma interupted the judge like 3 times while he was talking. If you have ever been in court this is a big no no. Anyway the judge mentioned that uprooting a child from one home and moving them to another is a huge decision and not something he liked to do personally or professionally.

After all that he said "I grant sole legal and physical custody to the plantiff (thats me!)" then he proceed to lay out a visitation schedule for my baby momma. *Here's when the drama starts* As the judge is saying she would get every other saturday - sunday she stands up and yells "That will never happen!! I gave birth to her!" and proceeds to storms out of the courtroom. Once she stood up, the judge adjusts his ruling and says she can have supervised visitation and he was going to forgo the exception period and make the order offical first thing in the morning. It was a crazy couple minutes and it took me a minute to realize what happened. I walked out the courtroom and everyone was gone. We were there till 6pm and court ends at 4:30pm. I mean the only people in the halls were cleaning folks. I hugged my mom and my lawyer (which might have made him uncomfortable lol) I held back tears of joy and tried to focus on what he was telling me.

So what happened? I got sole custody of my baby and her mom basiclly has no visitation. In order for her to visit with LMS she has to schedule it with a approved visitation center. No overnights, no trips anywhere. Just meet and play in a monitored place. Its like a complete 180 from everything that was happening. I went from no kid around to kid all the time.

I can't explain how excited I was, I got a sense of releif that finally I could move on to the next chapter of life. I knew my work was far from over but this was a huge step in creating a better life for me and LMS. Let me end it here, I'll continue the story of my first weekend as full-time dad later.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and prayers, God is good and prayer works. You just have to be patient and realize things workout in thier own time not yours.

37 comments:

YellowCake said...

WOW!!!
I read your blog often, but I've never commented. This time I just had to say...
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
That is AMAZING!!!!
What a blessing.
I pray that you will enjoy your time with your baby. May she increase your happiness ten-fold and bring you the joy you never thought you'd have.

*hugs*

"YellowCake"

Monstadon said...

Hey man...I been following your Blog here and there for a while now...ironically, about the same time my wife and I began going thru our troubles...and this just seems like such a positive good thing to happen, and from what little I can discern from someone's writing and not having met them in person or known them...it couldn't have happened to a better brother. Congrats and good fortune to you sir.

100.

BlackLiterature said...

did it happen?

Em Dee said...

Congratulations!!!!

Men need to take notes from you. Diligence && perseverance does pay off!

You're daughter is very lucky to have a dad like you :)

BorednTalkative said...

OMG!!!! Dave I am si happy for you and LMS!!! God definitely is good. I'm jumping up and down right now like it's my child!! Congratulations!! May you and LMS have a wonderful life together.

Babs said...

I have seriously been waiting for ths update since the beginning of the summer. I am so happy for you! Congrats!!!

Carolyn (cmarie12) said...

Dave - I'm sooooo happy for you! I was reading every word with baited breath trying not to skip to the end....trying not to miss anything important! Congratulations! I know YOU understand what you are getting yourself into but I also know that your daughter will be loved and adored. Congratulations again!

chele said...

Congratulations! You and your daughter are truly blessed.

K. Rock said...

Awww that's awesome. Congratulations.

Monique said...

I am so happy for you Dave. I really am. OMG! I know LMS's life is going to change for the better and that she (and you) are going to thrive. This is your season Dave. Wow. Congrats babe!

Ms. Behaving said...

YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

Ms. Behaving said...

And now that that's out of my system ---> Congrats Dave...I'm so happy for you! :D

KnitFloozy said...

Dave, Dave, Dave!!!!!! I'm shouting hallelujah for you!!!!! I am oh so happy for you and your baby girl. Just from reading your blog - it's clear how much you love your child. It's refreshing to hear from a man's perspective how much he loves and wants the best for your child. I look forward to some cute photos of your and her!

Congratulations again - it couldn't have happened to a better dad.

KayC, The Quiet Storm said...

Congrats Dave!

Now the real work begins...being daddy full time. That is no joke but I know you can handle it.

Reed is a character in her own story said...

Congrats!!! That's the news we've been waiting for!

brran1 said...

Congrats Dave! I knew it would all work out in your favor.

Anonymous said...

You're gonna have to change the blog title from The Baby Daddy Diaries to something more appropriate now. :-)

dmac said...

Delurking to say Congratulations. I actually teared up reading this so I canNOT imagine how happy you must be. Proof that whats meant to be will be!

LC said...

Congrats!! This is so awesome for you!!

GorgeousPuddin said...

Hallelujah!!!! which is the highest praise too God!!! I'm ecstatic for you!!!! I hate to see kids mistreated!!!! God truly answers prayers!! Go head Daddy!!!
* does happy praise dance* WoooooHooooo!!! LOL!

Antonio said...

Congrats!!!!

mrs.tj said...

OMG! I have been lurking for a while...but I HAD to comment!! THANK GOD! He is good ALL OF THE TIME! Whew! You are a great father, and it is a blessing that your baby girl has your in her life!
HOLLA!

Remnants of U said...

Congratulations Dave! I am soo happy for you & LMS. I'll still be praying for you.

Caspar608 said...

My Brother

I've never met you, but I know you.

I felt a little faint reading this post. It reminded me of the time I won the lottery and I was in a daze for a good ten minutes. Just standing there...and then I started to cry.

And you know what Dave? You deserved victory.

And you know what else Dave? I am so very proud of you.

Love,
Cas

p.s. I hope you plan on taking a ride up to NYC again...we can do the Bronx Zoo, Botanical Gardens, Yankee Stadium, Central Park, Museum of Natural History/Planetarium tour with LMS and baby Sophe : )

Anonymous said...

The tears won't stop. God is real, Dave if you don't believe in him...I do and so many of us have been praying for you. Justice has finally prevailed. I am so excited and I don't even know you. Don't worry your relationship will be fine, your daughter will be happy and you will be happy too. O praise God.

Jessica said...

Congrats. Trust me your readers have been waiting for this day too.

I'm very happy for you and we all know your little girl is where she belongs.

Angel said...

Karma is serious...CONGRATULATIONS!! LMS will be happy with you, and vice versa. I agree...you'll have to change the blog to just "Daddy Diaries" now :-)

12kyle said...

Wow!!! Congrats fam! I'm happy for you! You deserve to have your daughther. Prayer works!

SweetyHunni said...

How awesome is that!!!! Look how good God is! The judge made the correct decision and I'm sure you will continue to be the best dad you possibly can be! :)

This One Woman said...

I'm do happy to read this wonderful news. Coming from the view of a single mother to a son whose father wants nothing to do with him, I am overjoyed to see a father fight for his child!!! CONGRATS!!

mrstdj said...

Great news!! Congrats to you and LMS!

bayoucreole said...

I have been lurking forever...reading, hoping and praying that things would work out for you.
I am so, so happy that it did!
CONGRATULATIONS!

Teesha said...

I've been reading for some time and just never commented, but congrats! It's nice to see a man actually wanting to be a father to his child :)

Krissy said...

This is awesome! Congrats!

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

Out of lurk status to say congratulations! Prayer works! What you thought was too big for you was custom fit for God. He showed up and showed out! Many continued blessings upon you and your daughter.

XIX said...

I am so happy for you, I have been lurking in the wings reading your posts and wishing you the best. My boyfriend & I are going the similar problems w/ his BM and court. Just as I have been praying about our situation I have been praying about yours. GOD is GOOD! I wish nothing but good memories w/ you and your LMS.

inc23 said...

I'm just catching up... CONGRATS!!! This is awesome news.