So now that the baby lives with me I have several issues that need addressed:
Her Mom - lets see it's been about 12 days since the court date and her mom has called 2x. Every now and then LMS cries how she misses her mom but says she loves living with me. Her mom has yet to ask to see LMS though she just calls to talk to her. Reality is I have no idea how this will play out, part of me wishes my BM would just disappear but that's unfair to LMS. Her mom is still her mom and she's going to miss her and want to see her. Mommy is mommy even if her mom was messing her up. LMS told her mom she wanted to see her, so I'll leave it up to my BM to schedule something with me.
The Basics - When I went to LMS's old school to get her transfer papers her teacher told me how she was having problems wiping herself after she used the bathroom and how she often had accidents on herself. Her teacher felt this was a cry for attention and she used it as a way for her mom to come pick her up from school. The first day LMS was with me she used the bathroom on herself. She was also peeing the bed. So she needed help with basic potty training, she had regressed in basic skills. I sat her down and explained that it had to stop, she was just being lazy and I wasn't going for it. She knew when she had to use the bathroom and she should just go instead of trying to hold it till the last second. I also spent 10min in the bathroom re-educating her on how to whip herself clean. I didn't want her starting a new school and having basic problems, kids are mean and she is already overweight. No reason to be smelly too. After 2 days she was fine, no accidents, no problems at school and once she adjusted to her schedule she stopped peeing in the bed at night. Score one for consistency.
Health - LMS is overweight, she has been most her life. I went to see a nutritionist a couple years ago but it was pointless because while I made changes, they were negated by what her mom was feeding her. Not to completely blame my BM for her weight because when LMS was young I had my fair part in feeding her junk, but I changed my habits and started eating better, her mom didn't. She didn't create a schedule for LMS or make sure she got all the sleep she needed. Her weight got out of control. So with her under my wing I'm in control on her diet and exercise. Luckily she loves veggies, so I cut back on her snacks and sweets, limited portion size and started giving her dinner before 6. This lets LMS get to bed before 8 and get 9-10 hours of sleep. In just 1 week she lost 5lbs, She's not starving and she's not complaining about missing anything. It's working out well.
Behavior - This one will be the long term battle, LMS talks to much in class. She's friendly and likes to play even when it's work time. I've talked about it to her repeatedly but I know it will be a issue. while i'm happy she is being interactive and not a recluse given all that's been going on she still needs to learn how to focus on schoolwork and not the bad kids making jokes.
So it's like I'm starting from scratch with a lot of things, I have to mold her into the child I expect her to be and set the foundation that she should have had all along. She is responding better then I could have imagined, She adapts to change like I do. which is good, it's not going to be easy or quick but it will be worth it once everything settles.