10 November 2010

Double Life...

I was thinking about what I could blog about. See I have plenty of topics in my head I just don't feel like typing them out. I could blog about my relationship, I could blog about how my baby momma got my daughter kicked out of aftercare or how the school pulled out a no trespassing order against her. I could even blog about my job and how I might be laid off come monday. See I COULD blog about all of that but I wont. Why? because this is about ME and not of that other stuff lol.

I was talking to my cousin about going out and he plainly reminded me "But dude you don't like people"... this got me thinking about who am I? what happened to old Dave? Maybe the biggest change that happens when you have kids is you start to lose yourself. You lose a sense of who and what you are. You get consumed with being a parent and it begins to define you.

So I was sitting and thinking about what exactly I did for fun before all the drama. I've been so focused on LMS and creating a positive environment for her that I've sacrificed my own fun. I need to create Dave time thats not daddy time. Kinda like how married people need to still date each other. I need to keep having non-kid fun. The past 2 weekends me and LMS have looked at each other all weekend. I think its driving her crazy lol. She needs a break from me as much as I need one from her.

I know women whos whole life is being a mom. It's a easy trap to fall into, your spend most your day caring for someone that you forget about yourself. Some parents are living thru the kids and forget that they have a life to live too. Of course there are the other people who forget they are parents but we wont mention them.

I guess my point is that I need to remember that I was Dave long before I was Daddy and just because I'm a dad doesn't mean Dave is dead.

10 comments:

Thoughtsofsoutherngal said...

My son is 5. I never fell into the trap of just being a mom because I knew I was more than just mom. I think it's all about balance. Like this weekend, I'm taking him to the circus then later that night I'm going out to have for some adult interaction and put a few drinks in my system. lol I'm too much of a sociable person to forget I have a life too.

Take some time out for yourself, Dave. It's needed when raising a child.

buttahflychronicles said...

I don't have a problem rembering my life before kids, but everyone else does. Let me try doing something that requires child care. The answer is always no.

Kingsmomma said...

I could definitely use some pointers in this department. True story: I was talking to this guy when he asked my name and i said MOmmy....

Redbonegirl97 said...

Yep, my kids know either Friday or Saturday night is my night to do whatever I want. Now that they are teenagers they laugh when they see me dressed and headed out.

Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany

Anonymous said...

parenting means balancing..The child needs me time also from all the grudgingly side eyes of parenting, but be cautious just because of Dave time does not mean party animal all day and everyday,every weekend..be an example , balancing act is in order

chele said...

Good points and it's a good thing you're learning the lesson early. I have a 20 year old and a 16 year old and I didn't learn this lesson until my son graduated high school. I couldn't imagine what my life would be like once they graduated. If I'm not their mom, then who am I? Luckily, I've joined the human race again and all they say is, "It's about time!"

BorednTalkative said...

I was never a social person to begin with. I spent most of my time at home anyway. So I guess it was easier for me to fall into the trap of mommy. And I have a lack of babysitters too.

But you are right, you both need time apart to do your own things.

Monique said...

My goodness you are reading my mine. I feel guilty if I want to go out with my girlfriends but I remind myself that I need and deserve those little breaks, just like my son deserves little breaks from me. I used to be a party girl and I'm not saying I need to revert back to my wild ways but it's ok to just let loose sometimes...while remembering I am someone's mama. LOL Go have your fun time, Dave. Throw a little party, have some laughs.

Sha Boogie said...

I felt myself falling into that 'just being a mom' trap and I was WTH?! Gotta get out of it. So I made it a plan that I at least get out once a month with my lady friends and of course date night with the hubby is a must a few times a month. Don't forget about you Dave.

SincerelyGo said...

Good post. I'm having a hard time choosing between a kid and a kidless life. I know for a fact I'd have to buckle down from swearing to random trips and being able to go and come as I please with only me. It's such a freedom but I definitely want at least 1-2 kids within the next 6 years. This will be interesting to see how you balance it all. I was always under the impression that once you are a parent its a total life style change.