18 November 2010

Ms. Mush

So lets see, last we left My Baby momma had supervised visitation. I'm not sure if I mentioned how that works or if I talked about that experience so I'm going to take a minute and explain how it all has played out.

When I first got custody my BM (I decided I'll call her Ms. Mush because everything she touches turns to mush... see Bronx Tale) wanted to do supervised visitation at playgrounds and Chuck E cheese. The only problem I had with this was that there wouldn't be a neutral party there to ensure nothing crazy happened. I ended up finding a center that handles visitation, the place was cool because I could drop LMS off 15min before Ms. Mush got there and come back 15min after she left. No chance would have any interaction with her and the whole visit would be supervised by a consoler to ensure Ms. Mush didn't ask LMS questions about anything she shouldn't.

Only issue with the place was it cost money. When I first met the director I had to pay a $35 intake fee and she explained Ms Mush would have to do the same. In addition Ms. Mush would have to pay for the visits which could range between $25 - $54 depending on your income. So I figured if we did visits every other weekend it would cost Ms. Mush $50. Thats not unreasonable right? I know she is unemployed but she is renting a townhouse, paying bills and feeding herself so she has income from somewhere. $50 shouldn't be a problem, if all else fails her parents could pay it.

So Ms. Mush meets with the Director and we agree on a date and time frame. 1st visit would be for 5 hours. I droppped LMS off, everyone was nice and welcoming. When I came to pick her up the Director informed me how Ms. Mush refused to pay. Ms. Mush claims I should have to pay since she has no income and since I set all this up.....

Lets rewind for a minute, I didn't HAVE to do shyt. I could have gotten custody and completly ignore any and everything about this woman. Her visitation didn't have a schedule so if she never got it nobody could have said anything. I put in the effort so LMS could see her mom in a positive enviorment. The last thing I was going to do is pay for her visitation, thats money I could spend on LMS. I was already making time in my schedule for it, giving time and money wasn't going to happen.

So the Director says that this visit will be free but the next one won't be. I explain that I understand and me and LMS leave. About a week and a half later we are coming up on the 2nd visit. I call Ms. Mush's mom and ask if she knew if the visit was going to happen, she says she thought it was and that she was going to pay for it. Cool so I tell her LMS will be there. I don't talk to Ms. Mush on the phone because it never ends well, we email each other and even those end badly. Anyway later that day I get a email from Ms Mush saying that she refused to pay for the visit and wasn't going... Since her mom agreed to pay for it I was a little confused but I just said ok and explained that if she had a better location that provided the same service to let me know and we could do the visitations there.

Long story short my baby momma just can't work with anything that isn't 100% under her control. Since most of life is about working with other people I just don't know how she can be productive. All this happened weeks ago and I have yet to hear anything new about places for visiation. Currently LMS only sees her mom for about a hour at school 1-2 times a month. While I feel bad for my baby, I know I tried to make it happen and if her mom ever gains some senses she can be a bigger part of her life.

8 comments:

Ieisha said...

Love the Ms. Mush reference. A Bronx Tale is one of my faves (and it has nothing to do with the Italian guy I dated in high school).

I could say that BM is fooling, tripping or just plain crazy but you know that already. Let's hope that she can get over herself for the sake of Ms. Mush.

By the by, you should call your blog Dave's Daddy Diaries instead.

chele said...

This is so sad. I don't understand able-bodied people who don't work. What is that about? Anyway, hopefully your little girl will get through this unscathed and hopefully one day Ms. Mush will realize that being hateful is going to ruin any chances she may have of having a relationship with her daughter.

RealHustla said...

Maybe it's time to start explaining to LMS what mental instability is. Have you set up any conseling for her yet?

Sha Boogie said...

Gotdamn...this heffa just won't get it together! She reminds me SOOOO much of my step daughters mother so I FEEL YOU, Dave. It makes me want to scream. You are doing above and beyond what most folks would do and she is just ungrateful - period. Keep being a good dad and a positive person for LMS. Its not your fault or the baby's fault that Ms. Mush is trifling. Ugh..

Anonymous said...

Awww this is really sad but it is so obvious that MS. Mush needs some meds really bad. Her thinking is not clear and very irrational. Just continue to be the good parent that you are and although it may be hard keep Ms. Mush in prayer.

Towanna

Anonymous said...

Keep doin what u doin!! u cant force someone to become a parent they have to do it willingly. God is blessing u. Take all those blessing and let it (baby mama) drown in her own misery!! Kids grow up fast and she has chosen not to be a part of it.

SincerelyGo said...

Or not, but who knows maybe LMS is better off.

Sincerely,

Go

Colleen said...

goes to show you...she was getting all your money and didnt even have love in her heart for the child - her child, the child that she carried in her body for 9 months...

which is why I said get her for every dime and keep it moving...