25 March 2010

Live from the Courthouse

This week I wrapped up my court drama (well the criminal part of it) and of course I have notes from my time in the courtroom:

- The first judge we had was SUPER slow. I mean even the police officer were getting annoyed by how long cases were taking. This bamma even forgot to swear in a witness... smh
- Pant suits are not sexy, really get a skirt ladies
- I know I mentioned it before but Bamma's really don't dress up for court anymore. I saw more then 1 dude in gucci print pants and way too many black hoodies.
- If your ever in a court room go sit next to the cops. They are the funniest people in the room. They get excited when the case is called early and they get to go home and they tell the best stories.
- Sitting in court you hear the craziest cases, this chick caught a assult charge because she got into a fight with her Baby Daddy. She pulled 2 bats out her trunk AND a box cutter. I think she just got house arrest lol
- Being a State attorney must be a fresh outta school job. About 90% of the ones I saw were young and didn't seem to have it all together.
- I know I was in the court too many times because the State Attorney remembered me by name and face. I guess it helped that I was in the same courtroom and sat in the same seat every time I went.
- Some People looked real stressed in there, Me? I kept thinking about what I was going to eat once I was let go. #innerandouterfatkid
- The wack ass meter at the court house takes coins and Credit Cards. No dollars. Lots of people were stuck lol
- We had this 1 young black judge. Dude was on his shyt. He demanded all men tuck their shirt in and pull their pants up before he would address them. He was taking no BS reasons for continuance. Overall he was a hard ass. My kinda dude, I wanted to give him a fist bump lol

Last thing, My BM HATES me. Get this... she had a assault charge against her which carries a max 10yr prison. My charge carried a max of 18months. So the State Attorney made a offer. If I refuse to testify against her and she refused to testify against me we would BOTH be found not guilty. I was like cool, I just wanna go home and I highly doubted she would get any real jail time. Honestly it was more of a deal for her then me. My guess was she would get probation or something. I was sure I wasn't going to jail or going to be found guilty. She should have jumped at it. 10yr is no joke, even if you only had to serve a week. Who wants to go to jail for a week when you can be found not guilty? Who wants to sit thru a trial? So they ask her if she is willing to do it.... NOPE. She wants to go to trial... smh. I guess she would rather see me get in trouble then avoid going to jail.

In the end the States Attorney just dismissed both cases, my BM looked pretty pissed about it. Maybe she didn't understand what she was facing. I was happy, dismissed is better than not guilty. It's like it never happened.

Other thing of note... I've learned to only answer questions that are asked. I had both cases against me dismissed and not once did I have to discuss the merits of my case. Nobody asked me what the facts were, I just sat around and waited. My BM was talking to any and everyone she could. She super looked stressed, I just left the situation to god and focused passing the time. I knew I didn't do anything wrong and in the end it worked out.

23 March 2010


So if you know me, you should know I don't watch much TV. I watch a couple shows like LOST, PTI and pretty much anything on HGTV and the Food network but thats about it. Last night I watched 2 episodes this show called Hoarders on A&E. Now a couple people had told me about this show but me being me I ignored them. YO!!! this show displays the nastiest shyt I have ever seen in a house.

After watching about 30min I had to go clean out my fridge, my fridge is usually empty. I still went in and threw some stuff out, I was paranoid lol. This lady was hoarding food and it was soooo nasty. She had pizza boxes everywhere and just filth on top of filth. I mean she just had trash everywhere! They went to empty her fridge and she had some eggs that were a year old. They were painted easter colors and she said they were "too pretty to eat" them shyts were not even pretty! LMS could have dyed a better egg! and trust me I would not be keeping them for a year

She had food that expired in 07... 2007!!! and she still wanted to keep it! I couldn't imagine what that place smelled like, with rotting food all over everything. The cleaning people had BioHazard suits on and this lady was in there touching stuff with no gloves.

Then there was this lady in Riverdale, MD (maybe 20min from my house) who went 2 years without running water. She just started using adult diapers and tossing them in the bathroom when they were used. Follow me now... instead of cleaning her house, she chose to wear a diaper and build a 4ft pile of shyt in her bathroom. Her house was so bad that she lived in the kitchen on a portable toilet seat and she strapped herself to it at night so she wouldn't fall out. Then when she DID fall out of the toilet seat and couldn't get up the only thing that saved her life was a panic button attached to her alarm system. When the firefighters found her she was got stuck between a wall and a wall of trash wearing a snuggie and a adult diaper.

Then there was this lady with like 40+ cats in her house and while they were cleaning it they found 30+ dead ones. Like skeletons of cats and kittens, it was crazy.

I could go on but you should just watch the show. I promise 2 things will happen. 1 you will feel sane. Even if you argue with a imaginary person you are not as crazy as these poor people. 2nd you will not trust anyone you meet again. I was on the train this morning and this lady sat next to me. My first thought was "shes a hoarder" then she coughed and I though about how nasty her house must be and how she is coughing 3 year old trash germs on me. Really I couldn't focus. 2 episodes of this show has changed my life.