06 April 2010

Going Public

The funny thing about this blog is that I share more here then I do with my loved ones. On more then one occasion people have ask me how I was doing, gotten a "I'm good" response only to read the blog and hear that i am in fact NOT good... lol. They even started beginning conversations with "So I read the blog...." just to get to the point. In general I'm a private person, I don't really share whats going on in my life unless I feel the person needs to know and even then it's usually more facts then feelings. This blog is a expression of my thoughts and feelings, ones that I generally don't express or vocalize. Isn't that the point of a blog? at least of a personal one? Problem is the more people that read it the more I censor what I'm typing. Just like in real life... the more thats going on the less I want to talk about it.

For example at work I've been taking off alot for court, lawyer and school visits and general. I can't remember the last time I worked a full 80 hours in a pay period. I'm luckly to have a bosses who doesn't ask questions, I say I'm leaving early or not coming in one day and he just says ok. So when my co-worker says he's praying that my DR appts are going well I get confused. I tell him its not for the Dr but thanks for the prayers. I don't give details just correct the misconception. When they ask me how LMS likes school I simply say she likes it. I don't go into details because this is work and thats home.

Example number 2, I JUST told my mom I had not been seeing LMS, it's kind of hard to not say something when she hasn't seen her granddaughter in months but she has seen me. Usually I don't even bother going to her house unless LMS is with me, I know she don't want to see me she just wants the baby lol. Before when she or other family members asked where LMS was I just said she was with her mom. Which isn't a lie but also doesn't explain everything thats going on. Again I'm just not one for sharing, I don't like answering questions over and over even if they are to different people.

I almost starting viewing this blog less like a general blog and more like a targeted blog. Like how weightloss and cooking blogs have a focus, mine is a custody blog. I'm not happy about that, I guess I'm trying to say that I will be getting back to the randomness that I love. While I am unhappy most days I do have plenty to make me smile and I need to express that just as much as I express the rest.