Ever since my baby has been born I've been responsible for 90% of her clothes and shoes. I'm not complaining about this because I know it just comes with being a parent. If she needed it I just went out and got it, her mom got used to it and expected me too. I did this on top of paying child support again it's part of being a parent.
Fast forward to end of last year. Her mom starts calling me a dead beat and mentions how LMS new needs shoes. I was broke and mentioned that she should just go get some with the child support money. Mind you I pay $700+ a month, a $40 pair of shoes should not be a big deal. Apparently to her mom it was.... she flips on me and insists that I don't support LMS. A little later I noticed LMS had on new shoes. That was great except they were boys shoes and were too big. Which got me thinking if they were bought or given. Usually by now i would have just bought her some new ones but since I have not really seen her I have not had a chance to even see what size she wears now.
Since January the last 3 times I have seen LMS she had on old clothes (clothes I bought last spring/summer) and old shoes. Shoes that either are boys shoes or simply no longer fit. During our latest court hearing my BM brought LMS with her, I was excited to see her and I could tell she was happy to see me. Here's what bothered me though, it was a rainy day and LMS had on a superman rain jacket. A rain jacket that I remember belonged to my BM's older son when he was a kid. That jacket has to be around 8 years old. And she had some run down boys basketball shoes on. All I could think was all that money and you can't buy some shoes and a $15 rain jacket at target? it don't have to be GUCCI or even GAP just something nice and from the girls section.
I'm not sure what my child support money goes too since LMS doesn't go to aftercare and she apparently isn't getting new clothes/shoes. I doubt she eats $700 worth of food a month. Actually I do know where is goes, it's my BM's lone source of income so it goes to household bills. I wouldn't have a problem with this if LMS was taken care of first. I understand that bills are apart of a childs expenses. I just expect that the child's basic needs would come before the household bills. To me clothing and shoes are more important than cable. Child support shouldn't cover rent because you would be paying rent even if you didn't have a kid. The whole "roof over their head" idea should account for the roof I provide too. A child doesn't really use up any extra electricity, maybe more water but thats about it.
Long story short when you hear people complain about child support it's not always because they don't wanna pay it. It's just the idea that we can't control what it gets spent on. If the court said you have to spend X amount of dollars a month on your child I'm sure more people wouldn't complain about it. If I could just buy clothes, food, give LMS some spending money and put whatever's left in her college fund I'd be alot happier.