03 June 2010

Blah.... part duex

I'd like to blame twitter for my lack of posting but the truth is I have not been on there much either. Honestly I just haven't been feeling very social. Besides hanging with my lady friend and LMS I have not been doing much. I left facebook months ago, right after I realized my aunt was stalking me and my cousins profiles for updates about our lives info lol. Alas don't worry this is not a post about me taking a break, I won't be leaving blogging or twitter anytime soon i just recognize I'm in a funk.

While the temp is rising and the sun is shining I'm back to just wanting to chill in my basement. Maybe its depression but this whole custody thing is definitely taking its toll on me. It's financially and emotionally draining, It feels like everyday something about it needs my attention. Life is stressful and this has been both a learning and growth experience, If a divorce is half this stressful you can bet I'll never get one lol. Actually as I write this I think I have blogged about it before, no matter.

While I'm happy that now I get to see LMS every week I can't wait for this to be over. I want my life back, I want to get back to feeling normal. Even if I don't win custody at least there will be some resolution. Although if I don't win I'm sure I'll be depressed for the rest of the summer.

My latest focus is on a psychological evaluation. I'm pretty sure my baby momma is bi-polar or something, some days we can talk like normal people and other days she is coming from left field on me. I can't even explain it. After my lawyer met her he suggested the eval, it's sad that you can spend 1 hour with someone you have never met before and think they're crazy lol. Thing about the evaluation is that we both have to get one. So I have to pay $1000 for a shrink to ask me questions. She has to pay it too but since she's unemployed I'm sure she qualifies for a wavier. Anyway I'm just hoping I'm not really crazy lol. I mean this could completely backfire on me. What happens if I just breakdown in the office? I've never been to a Psychologist before, I have no idea what kind of deep down issues she might uncover.

Anyway this is going to be a interesting summer between court, being broke and my mini stretches of depression. Regardless of how it all plays out I'll be a better and stronger man for it.