10 November 2010

Double Life...

I was thinking about what I could blog about. See I have plenty of topics in my head I just don't feel like typing them out. I could blog about my relationship, I could blog about how my baby momma got my daughter kicked out of aftercare or how the school pulled out a no trespassing order against her. I could even blog about my job and how I might be laid off come monday. See I COULD blog about all of that but I wont. Why? because this is about ME and not of that other stuff lol.

I was talking to my cousin about going out and he plainly reminded me "But dude you don't like people"... this got me thinking about who am I? what happened to old Dave? Maybe the biggest change that happens when you have kids is you start to lose yourself. You lose a sense of who and what you are. You get consumed with being a parent and it begins to define you.

So I was sitting and thinking about what exactly I did for fun before all the drama. I've been so focused on LMS and creating a positive environment for her that I've sacrificed my own fun. I need to create Dave time thats not daddy time. Kinda like how married people need to still date each other. I need to keep having non-kid fun. The past 2 weekends me and LMS have looked at each other all weekend. I think its driving her crazy lol. She needs a break from me as much as I need one from her.

I know women whos whole life is being a mom. It's a easy trap to fall into, your spend most your day caring for someone that you forget about yourself. Some parents are living thru the kids and forget that they have a life to live too. Of course there are the other people who forget they are parents but we wont mention them.

I guess my point is that I need to remember that I was Dave long before I was Daddy and just because I'm a dad doesn't mean Dave is dead.

08 November 2010

A Support Issue

I think today I'll pose a qustion to the readers, Should I go for child support?

Its not really that easy of a question. On one hand my baby momma doesn't work so it's not like I'll be getting anything. It would be more about the principal. She lives off the govt and I'm pretty sure if you owe child support all those benifits stop. If she did get a job I'm sure I won't get much since I'd make more then her. I don't "need" the money, sure I could use it. Free money is free money right? I could use it for one of the baby's activites or even just put it in her college fund. In talking to my cousin (the only other person I actually know who has custody of his son) he says I should take her for support just because she would and did take me. There shouldn't be a double standard.

On the other hand I don't want anything from that woman, not even cash. I want to just delete her from my life and move on, receiving support will just create another link between us. Another reason to go to court, another reason for her to contact me. Even though I know we don't HAVE to talk for her to pay support it will be a reason for her to talk to me. Its another reason for her to be bitter and upset about life, another thing she will blame on me. Honestly I can do without it, I want to let her be and go about living my life. I'm trying to cut ties not create them.


So what do you think?

on another note, just when you think I'm the only dude on earth going thru this I'm introduced to Foshead who runs http://notthehuxtables.blogspot.com/ go check it out and see that there are more single dads doing good then the media would let you think.