21 January 2011

Them Rules...

I was chatting with my friend about this relationship article she read and how every one seems to have "rules" about how to find a partner. While these rules are good to read they don't really apply to everyone, your much better off just doing what makes you happy and not changing or conforming in hopes that it will help you find true love. What worked for your friend isn't likely to work for you.

This "everything don't work for everybody" theory also applies to parenting. I get people giving me suggestions on how to handle and raise LMS all the time, mostly from women and occasionally from women with no kids. While I'm always open to suggestions and ideas I'm well aware that what worked for you and your child might not work for us. Kids are their own people and just like everyone else in the world they react to things in their own way. Part of parenting is learning what the best way to reach your child is and doing that. There is a quote that best describes it

"Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.
John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester"

Its not a perfect science and the more you buy into certian "theories" or "rules" for raising kids the more likely you are to miss out on the fun of it all. I'm still learning what works best for us and I'm sure it will be a continous process. As she grows and changes I will have to change how I interact and teach her.

Much like with realtionships there is no magic set of rules that will work for everyone. What your parents did might not work for you because you're not your parents and your kid is not you. The general idea of what they did might work but you have to apply it your own way.

Anyway while looking for that quote from John wilmot I came across this quote that I liked:

The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that
fathering is not something perfect men do, but something
that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is
not the child but the parent.
~ Frank Pittman


RealHustla said...

Saw a cousin on new years who I KNOW has a colorful parenting past despite how well she's doing now. I had to take a moment to discipline Puah and cousin sat there saying "uh!" said it like 3 times! Pissed me off. I don't know what she was uh-ing at, Puahs behavior or my way of dealing with it. But I wanted to remind her that my children have NEVER lived away from me because I couldn't take care of them. Anyway. This post reminded me of everyone who has an opinion and how most of them just need to shut the hell up.

chele said...

So true. There is no parenting handbook and if there were it would have to be revised every month. I don't appreciate unsolicited parenting adivce especially from the childless. However, one piece of advice that my Mama gave me which saved me a lot of headaches: "Stop giving those kids so many (food) choices". Up until then, I think I treated my kitchen like a restaurant and let them place orders. I've learned since then.

foshead said...

I like that, Bro. Really nice.

Emanuel Evans said...

Amen, Amen, and Amen!!!! I'm sending this post to everyone who keeps trying to give my son and his wife "parenting" advice!!! I said the same thing to them this past weekend, but I was so pissed at what they told me people are telling them that it came out all wrong. LOL

SincerelyGo said...

I def agree. Everyone one and every relationship is different. I freefall in to relationships and friendships. I don't go in with any expectations. I don't "go" to meet people,I just meet them. This could be dangerous considering I'm in my late 20's but I'm not afraid. I'm living my life and one day me and that special someone is bound to cross paths.