20 April 2011

Mothers Day Dilemma

I was going to do a whole post about the whole "washing dishes" thing ya'll had a field day with but I decied not to. I will say this though I find it hard to beleive that you woun't wash a dish in your boyfriends house knowing his dishwasher is broken. Not some dude who invited you over to "watch movies" or that dude you only call when your lady parts need attention but your MAN, the one you shack up with on weekends. You wouldn't wash a dish in his sink? come on you aint gotta lie to kick it lol.

Anyway on to real issues, besides I have a dishwasher now I don't need no woman to wash my dishes lol. My current moral dilemma is whether I should make arrangements for LMS to see her mom on mothers day. Its falls on a non visit sunday so we would either have to switch weekends or make special plans. Since I'd actually like to see MY mom on mothers day and not spend it at Chuck e cheese she might be out of luck.

Besides she wouldn't go out her way for me if it was fathers day, wanna know how I know? because last Fathers day I didn't get a call/email/text/carrier pigeon... nothing. Oh wait my girl at the time made me breakfast, but nothing from my daughter. I'm not sure if I'm bitter about the whole situation with my baby momma but I know for sure I ain't doing her no favors. The holiday isn't about children its about moms and honestly she is a shitty mom... wait that sounds bitter lol. Its true though, she lacks all kinds of common sense. I really try to not talk too much shit about her but trust me I could.

Back to mothers day, I'm sure 1 of you will say "Be the bigger person" but why? this is the same person who literally tried to ruin my life, why exactly should I be nice to her? Yes she gave birth to LMS but that was 6 years ago AND I thanked her for it. This isn't a "whats best for LMS" situation, its strictly about her. Just like if it was her b-day I wouldn't do anything. Besides that the only reason I'm even remotely nice is the fact that I think being mean would block my blessings. You know the whole do unto others thing. That saves me from being a complete asshole to her. Maybe you can tell that I simply don't like her lol. So I figure I will ask LMS if she wants to call her mom on mothers day but I'm not about to buy a gift to change my plans top accomadate her.

Now the hard part is to figure out what my mom wants to do for mothers day....

23 comments:

Sha Boogie said...

lol@ 'you aint got to lie to kick it' HAHA!

Ok, you already know how similar our BM drama is..so you know I'm gonna say a big F.U to her! Please.. my husbands BM never has our daughter do anything nice for fathers day, EVERY mothers day we get a card and have the daughter sign it. *sigh* if I had it my way we'd do NOTHING.

But, I guess you could be the bigger person. And yes this is me being bitter, lol

Mia said...

Why be the bigger person? Because you're an example to your daughter. Because, like it or not, that's still her mother. Because your integrity shouldn't be based on what someone else chooses to do or not do.

parisia.hodges said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miss_P said...

I'm not sure I've ever commented before, but I have read everything you've written. You may not be bitter, but hell, after reading what she put you through I damn sure am, lol. If bm doesn't ask to see her daughter, don't jump through any hoops. Let her rot in hell where she belongs.

Ms. Behaving said...

It's hard to advise you to play nice when she (your BM) has done you so many wrongs.

I think it's a good idea that you've decided to leave it up to LMS.

..If she wants to call, let her call but should you go out of your way to make special plans just because of Mother's Day??? HELL NO!!

Alovelydai said...

Let LMS choose. It's her mother not yours. And let her make her a card (don't buy anything).

Babs said...

My first instinct is to tell BM to kick rocks, but then I think of your little girl going to school and all the other kids talking about what they did for mother's day. She needs to be included in those conversations as well.

So I would ask LMS what SHE wants to do for Monther's Day. She might want to see her mother, she might want to see her granny, but it should be her choice.

Thoughtsofsoutherngal said...

Like I mentioned on twitter, if LMS wants to see her then let her.

Jurista said...

Let LMS call her if she wants to. Then, focus on your own mother. She's been your support system through this whole ordeal.

It's not about being the bigger person. It's about not continuing to be the bigger fool. No need in making it easy for BM to take advantage of you.

Things she should have thought about last Father's Day, through the entire custody ordeal and just day-to-day.

To me, she is reaping what she sowed. Consequences can be a bitch.

EmberRose said...

If SHE wants to see HER daughter on Mother's Day then SHE needs to let you know. The saying is ask and ye shall receive. If she can't be bothered to ask then she don't get and it just sucks to be her. *shrug* Why should you bend over backwards to set up something that she might flake on? Fuck that noise. It's completely her responsibility to ask for additional visitation.

Anonymous said...

This is the first blog of your I have read. So it does seem like youre being mean. Before I give a thorough comment I will read your entire blog and see if this BM is truely awful!

12kyle said...

This is tough one, fam. You've been "the adult" for a long time. I'd say let her see her mother if you were dealing with a "logical" person. But we know that you ain't...

Miss_P said...

@anonymous- go back to somewhere around april of last year, and you'll have a better understanding. the post "i saw her" will move you to tears.

Monique said...

I agree with letting LMS decide. No sense in you going back and forth since you already know how you feel.

tomgurl said...

I also say screw being the bigger person! Don't go out of your way to do something for the BM. Like others have said, leave it to LMS. If she wants to call her mother then let her. Otherwise SCREW YOU BUDDY!LOL!

(Finally out of lurkdom!)

Anonymous said...

Dave, you have every right and many concrete reasons for your feelings. But, and this is a first, I disagree with you on this one.

You are LMS' role model and responsible for teaching her the values and morals you find important. So seeing you respect and honor your mother is as important as helping her learn how to do the same for her own. Helping her make a card, call and pray for her mother is important. Soon enough she will make her own decisions about her feelings and experience with her mother. And she will thank you one day for ALL that she did and did not say. Of course if spending supervised time with her mother is detrimental to her well-being, I am sure you and the courts will put a stop to it.

Realestdudeintheroom.com said...

First time reader.....You dead wrong on only one issue in this post. Send baby mama a card. No matter how bad she sucks as a human, she did carry and push out a baby for you. Send a card.

You don't want a 16 year old LMS to ask you why you weren't at least man enough to send a card.

Peace. I'm still reading....

God's Favorite Shoes! said...

LOL @ I thanked her for it! I agree...there has to be a statute of limitations on the whole "but I gave you your child" bit.

I'm not a baby mama...but I am engaged to a dude who has your baby mama looking like Mother Theresa.

I say if LMS, mentions something...then atleast encourage her to MAKE a card. IF she mentions it. But making other concessions for a meeting...she doesn't deserve it. Like you said, it's to celebrate Mothers and from the tales on this blog...she isn't worth celebrating.

Harsh but true...trust me I know.

And I really want to ask this...it is not a slight...trust me it's not. But did you see any signs of the baby mama being wack before she got pregnant? I only ask that because I ask my fiance' why would he have a lifelong connection with such a ridiculous woman?

I just wonder if you saw the signs and ignored them:)

Back to Mother's Day...don't be ugly to the mama but keep your routine.

foshead said...

Man, I'm with you. Don't do her any damn favors. If LMS wants to call her, cool, if not, F**k her! I feel your pain bro, trust me I do....

Remnants of U said...

Celebrate Mother's Day with YOUR mom. She'll enjoy the day with you & her granddaughter.

If LMS wants to call her & does then great. LMS will be able to say that she spent Mother's Day with her Grandmom.

Enigma said...

Hmmm. I am looking at it like make it a win-win. Let your baby make a card for her from the construction paper, crayons, markers and glue she has at home. Either mail it to her or let them meet for an hour and then travel on to your mom's spot. Win win.

Colleen said...

A child is not a paycheck or a payday so fuuuuuuuuuuuucccckkkk that beeeeeeettttccccchhhhhh. not literally, but, you know like figuratively. SHe reminds me of that crazy possessed girl from the exorcist.

If that little dollbaby mentions anything, let her make a card. Take her to the craft store to buy glitter and all kinds of girly stuff. You know why???? Because that crazy bitch that lost custody had your daughter wearing boys handmedowns. Damn. I really want to smack the public assistance out of her tired ass. Let LMS think for herself, though. She is going to be one phenomenal woman thanks to you and YOU only.

Fini.

Anonymous said...

Okay... I am going to agree with the other Anonymous....she / he is absolutely right.

"You are LMS' role model and responsible for teaching her the values and morals you find important. So seeing you respect and honor your mother is as important as helping her learn how to do the same for her own. Helping her make a card, call and pray for her mother is important. Soon enough she will make her own decisions about her feelings and experience with her mother"