03 September 2011

Vegas pt 1

So My homie Moe mentioned she was going to Vegas on twitter and asked for some suggestions on what to do. I offered some and she said I should blog about it so yeah, blame her for the next couple posts. 1 disclaimer though, none of these stories will be complete accounts. Just random events. I have to protect the innocent, mainly me.

I’ve been to Vegas 3 times. 1st trip was to celebrate my 21st birthday.

I went with one of my college buddies and a childhood friend who I had not seen in a while. My childhood buddy, lets call him “stretch” because he’s like 7ft, lived in North Dakota or somewhere so he just met us out there. We’ll call my college buddy “Shorty” because hes like 5’4. By the way I’m 5’8 so yeah we were an interesting group.

We arrived on my birthday and got settled, walked around got some drinks and what not. Pretty normal stuff. Let me say this your undoing in vegas is the frozen margarita. Them things are everywhere! you can’t be walking around and not drinking one. plus they are allowed in all the buildings (except some strips clubs, more on that next post). So after walking around and getting fairly drunk we decide to hit up a strip club. Stretch wanted to go to “Cheetahs” the place where the filmed “Striptease” you might remember that movie from years ago. It was a horrible movie and had zero on players club but whatever. We hop in the cab and go.

Lost of people have rules for travel and specifically rules for Vegas. Going into the trip I had none, I just wanted to enjoy my b-day. Then I had a moment of drunk clarity where I established my 1 rule for a vegas trip. Be very careful who you go with. See before I knew it my boy Stretch was getting shots from the dancers, not in glasses but having the dancers pouring liquor down his throat from the bottle. Then they were taking shots the same way. Now I was drunk but I KNEW that these girls were going to charge him for THEIR drinks. If there is anything you should never do in a strip club its pay for a dancers drinks. Honestly watching this dude get taken advantage of was better than watching the naked women. So after he had bought several shots and lap dances her utters the 1 phrase that has banned him from ever going to vegas with me again.

“Do ya’ll take travelers checks?”

Now if he was joking it would have be awesome, but he wasn’t. You see Stretch had decided to leave his ATM card in North Dakota and travel with ONLY travelers checks. Like Vegas was some 3rd world country and shit. It was at that moment I realized I might have made a mistake in picking traveling buddies.

Besides that our first night there was cool, the club was OK, I think I found a girl or 2 to mess with and everyone had a good time.

I’m going to skip what I did during the day because I have no idea what I did besides tour casinos. I don’t even remember eating, just drinking.

So the next night we decided to hit up some other strip club, this one was recommended to us by a local and turned out to be a co-ed club. One that had male dances on 1 side and female on the other. So while we were in there chilling Shorty finds an asian girl that he LOVES. He hits the ATM and goes back to the “Chamange room”. Stretch learned his lesson from the night before and was taking it easy, I was messing with random dancers. Everyone was happy.

After that club we end up on Freemont St, which is like ole town Vegas. We get some cigars and yard stick frozen margaritas and hang out. At one point Shorty mentions he can FEEL the liquor stopping in his throat because he was so full. Full on frozen Margarita because he hadn’t eaten. 10 min later he ad drank a good 20oz more of the liquor so I think nothing of it. At this point he had drunk more than ½ his height in liquor, I mean he could have been dying for all I know but he kept drinking so who cares right?

So sometime in the middle of the night when were sleep I hear Shorty throwing up. Only hes in the room not the bathroom. He throws up all over his cell phone and clothes and the chair in the room. Then This fool says “It smells like strawberries”

Word homie??? you explaining to me what your vomit smells like?? He was still drunk.

At this point its like 5am. I’m up and sober so I decide to do the only logical thing. Gamble! down to the blackjack table i went. After winning some cash I head back to the room and rest.

One of the days we decided to go see the Stratosphere Hotel. Its like a huge space needle where you can see all of vegas and it even has a roller coaster at the top. When me and Shorty mention going Stretch says hes scared of heights.... DUDE IS 7ft!! his whole life is heights! So me and shorty left him and went. That roller coaster is scary as shit let me tell you

Towards the end of the trip Stretch ran out of travelers checks. So when we finally decided to see a famous vegas show he says we should find a free one. By this point I knew bringing him was a mistake.

One the way back me and Shorty had a layover in some city. Only the layover was on the same plane so when we got off we left all our stuff on the plane. We hit up the food court and get to talking, before we know it the flight is leaving. We have to RUN to the plane and get there just after the closed the doors. Luckily the re-opened them for us.

In the end I came home with a bag of M&Ms and a M&M shirt and a Scarface drawing

This was my most boring trip.


Monique said...

*waiting for the next post* Thanks homie. I'm looking forward to reading these. Good thing I know the folks I'm traveling with. whew!

Anonymous said...

Dang if this is boring I hate to see what a a non boring trip is like.LOL Looking forward to the next post


Angel said...

Travelers checks though? Really?? That's hilarious!

Miss P said...

"It smells like strawberries"? Ewwwwwwwwww!