25 September 2011

A Year Later

I know I was telling my vegas stories but I wanted to take a break to mention some current life stuff.

Its been a year since I got custody of my daughter. In some ways it feels like the year flew by but when I sit an think about everything that has happened since that day in court I realize its been a LONG year. I have to take a moment and remind myself of all the events.

So what have I learned? The most recurring lesson I have learned is that GOD is good. Every one I encountered was brought into my life exactly when I needed them and they were all wonderful. From the court clerks and social workers to my lawyer, my ex and my family. Hell even the readers of this blog. Everyone was really supportive and positive even when I was down. It could have all turned out very different. I was blessed to have those people come into my life exactly when they did.

I've also learned that I don't have to do it all, I have a support system who is happy to help. I was planning to go back to school shopping and my sister calls up and volunteers. My mom buys and makes LMS clothes. My friends offer to do her hair even though I've gotten pretty good at it. In short people love me and LMS and are happy to help. Once I opened up and let people in my life got easier.

I learn how to deal with my baby momma. Before every interaction would stress me out, I would try to rationalize with her so she could understand. Now? I ignore her, she emails me and I don't reply, I barely even speak to her. There is no need, she is who she is and I can't do anything about that. Truth is she is still bitter about our relationship, not about the custody stuff but our relationship that ended 5 years ago. That's her issue though. I've learned that you tell someone something over and over but you can't make then understand. I wish we could work together to address problems that LMS has but she isn't interested in that. She wants to point blame and call names. I'm over all of that. I've grown up.

Lastly I've learned that I went thru all this because I was able to. It sounds weird but if I wasn't who I am I would have gone crazy in all this. There are days I am stressed out and wonder if I actually did the right thing, if I am built to raise a little girl full time. Then I remember that I have been through plenty adversity even before I had a kid. This is just another chapter in my book. I went through all that stuff to prepare me for this and I go through this to prepare me for whats next in life.

So its been 1 year and I'm still here, my daughter is doing great. I'm grateful for everything I've been through and I'm looking forward to whatever adventures await us in life.

12 comments:

sayitlikethis said...

Awesome post. And you're right. You went through it because you were able to. And you've grown because of it and gotten some good life lessons out of it.

You're cut out to raise LMS full-time. That's without a doubt. You should be proud that you took this on and are doing a great job at it. Congrats on making it a year!

Only.......8, 9, 10 years to go! Lol!

Tiffany said...

Happy 1st year. Good luck with the next. I wish I could say it gets easier.

Peace, Love and Chocolate,
Tiffany

ShaBoogiesince1982 said...

Wow! Its been a year? Time flies! From what I read on your blog, you're doing a great job. If God brought you to it, he'll bring you through it!

Diamondgirl said...

I hope to one day get to the place where I can let everything go with my baby daddy. I have more than moved on from our romantic relationship, but he is still her father. Every interaction is hostile. There is no reasoning. He does nothing for our child and I am struggling. One day I hope I can look back with your same feelings and see "the point". At times I feel so bitter over the wasted years, I feel forever changed in a negative way. Then I look at my daughter and would do everything all over if it got me her. I am stuck between those two feelings.

Have a blessed day.

12kyle said...

Time has really flown by. Congrats, fam. I know you're glad to have her. Hopefully, when she gets older...she won't remember how crazy her momma was during this time

SincerelyGo said...

Good job Dave, I've always been proud of you for taking care of your daughter and you're right. You're able and willing. You're a good guy. Keep up the good work.

Go

Adrienne said...

So proud of you Dave. Keeping you and baby girl in my prayers.

Tyhitia Green said...

Hi Dave,

I just stumbled upon your blog while visiting a friend of a friend's blog. And I am very glad I came by. :-D

That's great that you got custody. Just from what I read, I'm sure you'll do an excellent job. And your support base is in place. Good luck. ;-)

Oh, and the title of your blog sounds like a book. Have you thought about writing one?

DivafromSC said...

I usually lurk in the shadows, but I thought I would actually comment this time, lol! Congrats on making it through your 1st year! I know as time goes on you'll continue to do a great job. Blessings to you and LMS!

Remnants of U said...

Congratulations on your 1st year! Keeping LMS's best interests is your #1 priority and you are doing a wonderful job at that.

GorgeousPuddin said...

Aww Dave Congrats on your 1st year!! You are doing great!

Miss Lovely said...

Wow. I have a lot to catch up on..Congrats sir!