17 November 2011

Dating Life

I had lunch with Sha Boogie last week and all she wanted to talk about was my dating like lol. Apparently I don't talk about it enough and she felt left out.

here's the thing about my dating life, its relatively boring and repetitive. See I was using my female friends as a distraction until they all got scooped up in Choosing Season. So then I had to actually go out on real dates. At first I completely hated them. I used to love first dates and all the sudden I wasn't looking forward to them. They were boring and I wasn't engaged at all.

After a while I started enjoying dating again but I was still just going through the motions. I just wasn't excited about any of the women I was meeting. Like I knew within the first couple days of knowing them that it wasn't going anywhere. That old saying "When a man knows he knows" is true. When I meet a girl I really like I'm all over it, there is no doubt about what I want. I don't have to force myself to have conversations or talk myself into liking her because she is a good woman. Lately I have been doing a lot of talking myself into women.

My whole dating life is just distractions, something to do when I'm bored. It gets me out the house and keeps my phone filled with lewd pics. Women come and go and I don't even care. Sometimes I wait to see just how long I can BS around with a girl before she realizes I'm not interested and moves on. You know the worst part? I can actually see myself doing this for a while, its kind of a comfort zone for me. It allows me the free time to raise LMS and still have female company when I want it. I don't have loads of free time anyway so it works. I don't have anyone I'm accountable to. I get to live life fairly selfishly and not think about "Us" or keeping another person happy. With Christmas coming up I don't have to buy anything for anyone I mean this could be considered an awesome situation. So for right now I'm chilling, no marriage talk. I'm enjoying the moment.

In other news I realized I hate the whole 21 questions thing that happens when you meet people. Or maybe I just hate when this one girl asks me questions. I tend to answer them with wild silly answers because its funny to me then I realize that she is sizing me up based on the questions. I'd much rather you get to know me by being around me than judging what kind of music I listen to. I actually don't like talking about myself, You kind just have to live a little life with me and either you get it or you don't.

I don't know if I'm growing or regressing.....


Thoughtsofsoutherngal said...

I hate all of the unnecessary questions too. I rather to get to know a person by just hanging out and having conversations.

Anonymous said...

this is so sad.

i am married to a man that cheated on me with at least 7 or more women at one time. he pretended to be someone else online and dated these women and slept with them.

although you are not married, it is nonetheless repulsive that a man is so awful as to play with a woman's emotions.

are not there hobbies, goals and other stuff to play with other than women and their feelings?

getting to know someone is a process.

i think you are regressing to a teen in this area of your life.

...hey, you put it out there.

Dave Van Buren said...

Dear Anonymous

I'm confused. You were ok with your husband to cheat on you with AT LEAST 7 different women but its repulsive for me to date? Or did I read that wrong and you are not married to him anymore?

To be clear I'm not your husband, I don't lie about who I am so I can sleep with a bunch of women. Have you seen the AIDS rate in DC? I'd be dumb to do that. Actually I didn't mention anything about sex you just assumed. See I can go out with a woman, enjoy her company and take her home without expecting anything. That how grown ups date.

Also I do have a hobby, you should visit cookinwithdave.com

bayoucreole said...

Well said Dave.

Eccentric_Girl said...

LOL Dave, you're like the male version of me lol! In many ways I am just "apathetic", and like you, having male friends to talk to meanwhile is entertaining.

And who the hell likes first dates?! They're always awkward - unless you REALLY know them for some time already - and involve minor forms of "smalltalk"... I hate smalltalk!

As far as to whether you are growing or regressing... I think that maybe you are aware that you don't want anything serious right now. Or maybe it's just that you haven't met anyone to get you moving in *that* direction.

It's hard to be motivated about something (or someone) that doesn't 'move' in a way to want to pursue it aggressively.

In any event, keep having fun. Pay no mind to this 'anon' fan of yours :)

Anonymous said...

my husband is repulsive too...thus our divorce proceedings.

I just left my little comment and how I felt about your post.

I am not your judge....I am just an annonymous commenter. It is your life and your blog.

I was just passing through.

All the best to you.