31 January 2011

The Thirst

So theres this girl... she likes texting me. This usually is good but in this case she is just SO boring. Like I've never been so bored texting a girl in my life. Not only is she boring but she just doesn't seem to get that I'm not interested.

Lets rewind like 6 months. I'm chatting with my god-sister about random stuff when she asks "Did ___ call you?" I'm like "who?" She proceeds to explain that my god-mother gave my info out to this girl in a effort to hook me up. I kindly explain to my god-sister that I have a girlfriend and she should tell my god-mom that I don't need the dating help. Before that message could make it back up the grapevine the chick adds me on facebook. She sends me a message about how I'm so handsome and my daughter is so beautiful. I say thanks and again explain that god-mom was mistaken and I'm not single and not interested.

So a couple of weeks ago she texts me, something innocent like "hey how are you" or something like that. Then she asks how my love life is going and I instantly regret changing my relationship status on FB. So we test for a while and I realize that its just a boring convo. Like nothing about it was holding my attention and if I wasn't sitting in a parking lot bored I wouldn't have entertained it. Heres a sample of my boredom

Her: Can you swim?
Me: Nope I never Learned
Her: R u 4real Dave?
*note: it bothers me when grown ass people shorten words like that. this aint twitter.
Me:Yup I'm for real. I never learned.
Her: I learned when I was 5

Another convo:

Her: What r u & LMS doing tonight?
Me: Nothing.... watching TV and surfing the net
Her: Its my niece's bday. Im @ red robin with the fam
*note: I didn't ask what she was doing or where she was at! I really didn't care.
Me: aww thats cool... unlimited fries! have fun
Her: Im on a diet so im getting a salad
Me: oh ok... well enjoy that
Her: I will
Her: Im going to my first pole party 2morrow. Im so excited
*note: again I didn't ask her anything about this... This is actually a continuing theme with her, she answers questions I never asked.

Then this:

Her: Is it ok if i call u sometime or im i doing to much?
*note: Seriously?? you gonna ask permission to call me? granted we have never had a phone conversation but still this just reeked of no confidence.
Me: Naw you can call... I'm not much of an on the phone person though
Her: oh ok
Her: Do u have verizon?
Me: Nope Sprint.. why?
Her: Just asking

And Finally:
After our snow storm, me and LMS were outside sledding.....
Her: Just came back in not to long ago. I love the snow!!
Me: Sweet.. were headed in now. About to make some hot cocoa
Her: I'm drinking some now.
10min later...
Her: Letting you know the roads r good.
Me: Cool, thx. Do you make your hot cocoa from scratch?
Her: No. Do u?
Me: lol.. yup
Her: Maybe u can teach me how someday.
Me: No Problem.. it's really easy
*note: You crazy if you think I'm really going to show a woman how to cook, I did it 1 time and now she is cooking great dishes for her new man. I'm not about to help anymore dudes out like that. Also this is a death blow, You're the woman! you should just know these things. If not you could google the shyt like I did! really its not that hard.

I could go on and I'm sure this girl is a very nice person but she bores the hell out of me and despite how nice I am about it she just doesn't seem to understand that I'm not interested. Shes asked me out like 3x and all 3x I've explained that I don't have time. She's even dropped hints about how she was in my neighborhood, like I'm going to invite her over O_o yeah NEXT!!! lol


30 January 2011

The Tooth

A couple weeks ago my daughter brought to my attention that her tooth was loose. I looked at the tooth and it didn't appear to be loose but she insisted that it was going to come out that day.

Fast forward 2 weeks and 2 billion reminders about this loose tooth and I pick her up from school and she reminds me yet again that it's going to come out today. Granted it was looser now but at this point I wasn't paying it any attention. So we go out for dinner and while eating the tooth finally comes out. It's the smallest tooth i've ever seen, LMS was soo exited. She was dancing around with it in her hand talking about the tooth fairy and all I could think of was her dropping and losing it. I asked her to give it to me so I could keep it safe. I started to put it in my pocket but it's was so small that I was worried it would get lost in the lint. So I kept it in my hand as we walked to the car.

As I was getting into the car the inevitable happens...

I drop the tooth.
In the street.
At night.

Did I mention it was like 20 degrees outside? Now I have to look in the parking lot for a tiny white tooth. You ever really look at the street? It's nothing but white specks. So I'm outside in the cold looking for this tiny tooth, after about 30 minutes of looking in a parking lot the cold starts to sink in, my legs are freezing and my brain is starting to curse me out. I get in the car, look at LMS and explain that I can't find the tooth but I will let the tooth fairy know about it so she can get her money. Cue the waterworks..... she starts balling about how she wants it. I feel like crap and get back out the car to look. Every now and then something happens that lets you know god loves you.... As soon as I got out the car and look down I see a small white object, I pick it up and its the tooth... Sweet baby jesus its the tooth!!

I get in the car, blast the heat and had LMS the tooth. I'd rather he lose it then me, of course she doesn't lose it and in the end the "tooth fairy" gives her $2 for it.