12 February 2011

Mush pt2

So where I left off with my Ms. Mush post, my baby momma refused to pay for the supervised visitation at this center. Since then here's some of the fun stuff that's happened.

- My baby momma got a lawyer! This was actually a blessing because it created more of a buffer between us. I have no idea how she is paying for it and really don't care.

- the lawyers agreed that chuck e cheese was a suitable visitation place because they stamp you and your kids hand so my baby momma can't run off with LMS. It's not ideal but it's a controlled environment so it works.

-My baby momma tried to bring a live dog into the chuck e cheese because she felt like it missed LMS.

- Baby momma tried to bring the same dog to LMS's school.

- speaking of school, baby momma has been limited to 1, 45 minute visit a month. Even with that she is causing problems and they want to limit her to just lunchtime visits. I'm kinda out of that because they pulled a no trespassing order out on her. They have this open door policy for parents regardless of custody.

- She asked if we could meet at a ski resort 2 hours away so she could take LMS tubing..... Yeah, no.

- Other visitation locations she suggested were: starbucks, the movies, museum and cheesecake factory. When I suggested a book store she said it wasn't age appropriate despite them having a kids section.

- Speaking of the book store, when I suggested it she called the corporate offices and asked if they handle visitations..... Of course they said no like any smart business would.

- Did I mention LMS was going to therapy to help her adjust to all this? Well the therapist wanted to meet Baby Momma. I invited her to the session, and she came. I left the Dr, LMS and BM to talk and lets just say the Dr felt it was a learning experience but doesn't want to meet with her anymore.

With all this it's only a matter of time before we go back to court on visitation. Thing is I feel like either way I can't lose. If we go back and a judge orders overnight visits then I have a built in break from being daddy. This will give me time to rest, work on side projects and date. Hell even a supervised visitation with a court ordered scheduled would be good. If things stay the same then LMS won't have so much exposure to her moms brand of crazy and hopefully will not display it.

Either way I can see the bright side. For now I have to try and create a reasonable visitation schedule with an unreasonable person.


07 February 2011

Doubts...

Report cards came home the other day. Baby girl is a solid C student, granted its only 1st grade but seeing it on paper got to me. Just another thing I have to add to my list of things to work on. Its becoming a long list, between her faults and my own I'm beginning to wonder if I can actually do this. What if I can't? what if deep down I'm not cut out to raise a child alone?

I'm scared....

See I'm scared that I'm going to mess this up. What happens if I can't reach her? what if I can't get her to focus and teach her the value of hard work? What if I'm just can't do this? The moment I start to slip my baby momma will run up to the court house waving a report card and saying how I'm failing as a parent. I don't have much room for error. So on top of everything else I have to instill some kind of work ethic into this lil girl. Our daily schedule has to be adjusted because obviously we are not spending enough time on schoolwork. LMS is a smart girl, shes just not motivated. All she cares about is playing and candy, I know thats top priority for kids in general but she applies it to everything. So unless she's getting a instant reward she doesn't apply herself, You have to stay on her to keep her focused. The thing is I'm the same way, I lose focus all the time. So how can I teach her stuff I haven't learned? I need her to care.

She started a karate class a couple weeks ago, and its rare that I get to see her in a class environment since usually when she is in class i'm at work. Watching her in class I realize she barely focuses on anything thats not fun. She is much more concerned with having fun then paying attention. She is a ball of energy and I have to figure out how to help her focus it in 1 direction. So going back to her grades, its not that she doesn't know the work. She just doesn't want to do it because its not fun, its work. Learning is fun, quizzes and tests are not. So when she encounters something thats hard and she doesn't want to do she makes up reasons to get out of it. She suddenly gets a tummy ache or has to use the bathroom, it's actually impressive how she has learned to manipulate people to avoid doing hard work.

It's impressive but it has to stop. I have to be harder on her, explain that I expect more. Me going easy is easier for both of us but it isn't helping anyone in the long run. I have to find a iron fist to run my house with.


in the mean time does anyone know if they have a age requirement for scared straight?