07 February 2011
Report cards came home the other day. Baby girl is a solid C student, granted its only 1st grade but seeing it on paper got to me. Just another thing I have to add to my list of things to work on. Its becoming a long list, between her faults and my own I'm beginning to wonder if I can actually do this. What if I can't? what if deep down I'm not cut out to raise a child alone?
See I'm scared that I'm going to mess this up. What happens if I can't reach her? what if I can't get her to focus and teach her the value of hard work? What if I'm just can't do this? The moment I start to slip my baby momma will run up to the court house waving a report card and saying how I'm failing as a parent. I don't have much room for error. So on top of everything else I have to instill some kind of work ethic into this lil girl. Our daily schedule has to be adjusted because obviously we are not spending enough time on schoolwork. LMS is a smart girl, shes just not motivated. All she cares about is playing and candy, I know thats top priority for kids in general but she applies it to everything. So unless she's getting a instant reward she doesn't apply herself, You have to stay on her to keep her focused. The thing is I'm the same way, I lose focus all the time. So how can I teach her stuff I haven't learned? I need her to care.
She started a karate class a couple weeks ago, and its rare that I get to see her in a class environment since usually when she is in class i'm at work. Watching her in class I realize she barely focuses on anything thats not fun. She is much more concerned with having fun then paying attention. She is a ball of energy and I have to figure out how to help her focus it in 1 direction. So going back to her grades, its not that she doesn't know the work. She just doesn't want to do it because its not fun, its work. Learning is fun, quizzes and tests are not. So when she encounters something thats hard and she doesn't want to do she makes up reasons to get out of it. She suddenly gets a tummy ache or has to use the bathroom, it's actually impressive how she has learned to manipulate people to avoid doing hard work.
It's impressive but it has to stop. I have to be harder on her, explain that I expect more. Me going easy is easier for both of us but it isn't helping anyone in the long run. I have to find a iron fist to run my house with.
in the mean time does anyone know if they have a age requirement for scared straight?