I feel like this blog has gotten way too serious. What happen to my random stories about foolishness? where are the random thoughts posts? Where the fun? Maybe I give those stories/thoughts to twitter now. let me share a story I didn't tell on twitter....
I went to a Burlesque show.... it was one of those things that crossed my radar recently and wanted to checkout. I had never been to one and when I saw a local place hosted them I knew I had to hit it up. A friend of mine agreed to go with me since I rarely ever do anything alone. The venue was on H st in DC. A place that 5 years ago you wouldn't go to unless you HAD too and 5 years from now will probably be nothing but bars and hot spots. Right now is a insane mix of the locals who have lived there the last 20 years and a new element that is slowing moving them out. Its gentrification in progress.
The show was being held above a bar... We walk into said establishment and there is a cat sitting there behind the bar just chilling. It was disturbing and I'm pretty sure a health code violation, but we can feel safe that there are no rats at this bar right? once we make it upstairs I realize there are no seats... this is a standing room only performance. I mean the tickets were only $15 so you can't ask for TOO much but damn could we at least get some folding chairs? Maybe a stool? Anyway we decided to move up front since I'm not the tallest dude and my friend is shorter then me. We secure a spot close to the stage with the other short people when this 7 foot woman comes up front. This group of women in front of us were pissed! She towered over them and blocked their view. Luckily our view was unobstructed by the amazon woman. We figured once the show started she would move back so the regular people could see but nope, she stood her ass there the whole show. Even the Host made a remark that she should move to the back.
So the show starts, the first girl comes out and has some amazing legs, seriously she had a bunch of tattoos but her legs were great. She did a couple moves that suggested she worked at a strip club at some point... and not any strip club but a black strip club. With her body I could see it working for her *shrugs*. As she takes her clothes off and the tasseled titties start spinning the crowd cheers. I'm thinking this is going to be a good show despite having to STAND thru it. Then the next girl comes out and she isn't that attractive but still entertaining. In between the acts the host did random things to pass the time. My favorite was when he drove a nail into his head thru his nose. My friend couldn't watch but I was all for it! it got even better when he pulled out a electric drill and drilled into his nose. He even swallowed a sword and asked an assistant from the crowd who was WAY to eager to be on stage to remove it. Did I mention he was drinking whiskey the whole show? yeah drunk hosts are the best.
Back to the girls though... by far the first girl was the most physically attractive but the others preformed well including some girl who's nickname was "legs" I mean she WAS leggy lol. So despite the thick thighs and tasseled titties what really stole the show was the 2 dudes dressed in drag preforming a musical about Lot's wife... you know from the bible. They remixed "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Taylor (google it) to tell her story. It was completely blasphemes but let me tell you I was dying. The song has been stuck in my head all week.
There was also a intermission... during which the performers came around with a bag asking for tips. They were also selling posters, head shots (pictures, don't get nasty) and hand made tassels. My friend mentioned she wanted to get some tassels and I had to explain to her that they are a good idea on women with smaller breasts. Once you get over a C cup its too much to be trying to spin! you could hurt someone.
So in conclusion... it was a great show, did I mention we had to stand in 1 place for 1.5 hours?