19 May 2011

Canceling Christmas

I don't know if I ever mentioned it but my BM has a son, hes like 14 now but when I first met him he was 7 I think. He was having some behavior problems that might have been linked so the issues between BM and his dad. See like my daughter he lives with his dad too, I got a chance to get some first hand experience on how "broken" homes effect kids. While I was watching BM try and get a handle on her son's behavior she threatened to not buy any gifts for christmas. I knew it was a empty threat and I'm pretty sure her son did too since it did nothing to change his attitude, I suggested that she go through with it and just cancel christmas, no gifts, no tree, no candy canes, NOTHING! I promised her that he would shape up once he realized she was serious. 1 chirstmas lost will send a life long lesson. Of course she didn't listen and till this day she battles with him over his behavior and grades. By the way, hes a good kid just in a horrible situation where he acts out because hes stuck in the middle of alot of BS.

This leads me to dealing with LMS behavior problems. Shes not bad per say she just likes to talk. All the time actually. You can imagine this is a problem in the classroom. Thing is while she is running her mouth she is getting excellent grades. When shes quiet and listening her grades fall. Its like she can do 1 or the other but not both. Even at home she has her moments. Moments where she wants to talk back and raise her voice at me. So over the last 2 weeks I've been in lock down mode. I realized I have to be extra strict because as much as I'm trying to provide the structure she was lacking I'm also trying to reverse her bad habits. So this past weekend she was on punishment. My belt made an appearance and all fun was put on hold until she shapes up. I even packed up most of her toys that she decided she didn't want to clean. wait, side story....

So she left a bunch of toys out in the basement. I asked her to clean them up and our convo went something like this:

Me: Clean up your toys
her: I don't want too
Me: Clean them up or I'ma whoop your butt AND throw them out, if you don't want to clean them up that means you don't want them.
Her: I DO want them!
Me: then clean them *walks upstairs*
*5min later, LMS walks upstairs*
Her: I don't want to clean them, you can just whoop me.
Me: *shocked* you sure?
Her: yeah
Me: ok

Then I spanked her... she didn't even cry, it was the oddest thing ever. After that all the toys that were on the floor found their way to a trash bag.

It was a LONG weekend for both of us.

I explained to her that if she can't shape up for this last month of school this will be the boringest summer ever. There will be no beach, parks or six flags and the ONLY fun she will have will be at summer camp. No eating out or getting treats. In effect I will be canceling summer. Hell her acting up will save me plenty of money.

Truth is I hate being the bad guy and fussing at her but I refuse to fail her and be dealing with this the next 11 years of school. She will learn how her actions have consequences, both good and bad. The sooner she learns the happier we both will be and the more fun we will have.