This weekend I decided to check out the African American festival in Baltimore. I live about 30min away from baltimore and rarely ever go up there. I'm more of a DC dude. I actually ignored 2 warnings about this "festival" 1 it was African American and as much as I love my people you know how ya'll get. 2nd it was in Baltimore, The home of "The Wire". My best description of Baltimore is my boss (who lives in b-more) telling me that one day he saw a building getting fixed up. Turns out they were filming an episode of The Wire and the building needed to be upgraded to look like the hood. Yes the buildings in the wire were IMPROVED!! for TV.
I ignored these warnings and proceeded to check out this festival any way. Me and LMS need to get out and do something and this seemed like a good idea. When we got there around noon tables were still being set up and there was a huge stage with nobody playing. Also of note was a carnival in the back that was closed. I don't know if it was actually part of the festival or just happened to be in the same location either way it was closed... at noon.
There was a couple tents for natural hair and walmart was selling fresh fruit which was cool. We stopped for a snow cone at this trailer. A trailer that shook everytime the guy inside moved around, a trailer that was covered in ants. How does a mobile trailer get covered in ants? Of course I notice the ants after we get our snowcone. I ensure the cone was ant free and we went on out way.
This snowcone was ok, nothing special. Not all snowcones are created equal and so far the best one I have had has been from this lady who runs a SnoBiz stand. Its awesome.
For this to be an african american festival there was very little african american about it.... unless you count all fried everything as african american. Seriously there were like 15 places selling funnel cake and at least 5 places selling fried oreos and snickers. There were a couple soul food places that looked a lil less then hygienic. For there to be so many food vendors there was little variety of food. Oh and there were about 75 police officers roaming around. Actually there were more police then people in attendance.
About the people in attendance, it made me sad to be a black person. The best part were the women in booty shorts, actually I have never seen so many booty shorts and maxi dresses in 1 place. Its a shame they were all on unattractive women. I bumped into an old coworker (who lives in b-more). He was rocking some white jeans with a rip in them, white loafers and a terquise shirt. I have no idea if thats standard menswear in baltimore or not. Oh yeah I was rocking a "I Love DC" shirt. Then there was the couple riding around in matching hoveround chairs. The lady says "Hi baby!" in my direction. I tell LMS to say hi back and the lady says "I was talking to you baby" O_O!!! then she says "you don't remember me?" Now I know I've been drunk alot and made some bad decisions in the past but I can assure you I have never seen this woman in my life. I mean how many people do you meet in hoveround chairs? I'm pretty sure I would remember her. I shake my head no then she says "what about if it take my glasses off?" I still have NO idea who she is so she powers on.
So as were walking around someone from the health department offers me free HIV testing (i've already been tested) and we get a free bag of Crest toothpaste products. This whole thing was mostly food vendors and most of those foods are fried. The vendors who were selling other stuff were mostly jewelry and hair stuff, nothing for men. We ended up buying a hotdog and going about our business.
This festival was a disappointment. Turns out it didn't start till noon so that explains why the vendors were not set up and the lack of attendees. Maybe we just got there too early, I'm sure it picked up later in the day. That said I doubt I'll be back next year. There is too much to do closer to home to be venturing out to baltimore.